Did you all survive the holidays?  Did you resist the temptation of Black Friday?  Did you succumb to the new buying trend of Online Black Monday?

So instead of the usual rantings and advice, I shall share a brief personal account of my holiday dinner and how I utterly failed to make things any easier for the significat others that were brought into the fold.

My cousins on my mom’s side are both women and brought their boyfriends over for the Turkey Day feasting.  Although my cousins’ parents have met both gents before, this was their first introduction to the rest of the extended family.  Not the best idea in the world, but if you want to spend time with your SO on the holidays, sometimes you have to drag them to the family dinner.

In certain circumstances, I shy away from meeting new people.  Actually, in most circumstances, I shy away from new people.  Conventions and artist alleys are a different story.  But get me out of my very small comfort zone, you won’t even notice my shy ass.  As such, I absolutely failed to make my initiative saving throw to potentially deliver these two gents from a totally awkward and suck filled dinner.

When you typically meet the SO of one of your relatives, “Oh hi, and what do you do?” is usually a good starter question.  You don’t really care, and I suppose somewhere in the back of their mind they know this, but at least you’re putting up the front and giving them an in.  From there, the conversation usually focuses on jobs and future plans and things of that nature that, quite honestly, don’t mean all that much to a geek.  So I never bothered asking either of them what they did.  They, in turn, also failed their initiative saving throw and spent the evening mumbling things to my cousins under their breaths so as to not disturb the awkward silence of the dinner table.  It was… quite dull.

If I were to give advice to myself, I’d probably say something along the lines of “It’s your duty as a family insider to make the evening more bearable for your guests.  Even if you don’t care, you must make every effort to engage the new people in conversation.  People are always willing to talk and complain about their vocations.  Start with jobs.  Ask how they met your cousins.  And just see how it goes from there.”  It’s pretty sound advice and if I brought my “A” game, I might have attempted some form of pro-active interaction.

I acquired quite a bit of fail at Turkey Death Day dinner.  But I don’t feel too bad.  Meeting people is a two way street.  I didn’t make it easy for them and they didn’t care to make it easy for me.  We’re both at fault and I can live with that.

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(WARNING: Almost none of the links in this column are work-safe. Do not view them in front of co-workers, family members, or federal agents.)

As the tastefully named Richard Kim told you on Tuesday, the Gal-game genre tends to fall into three major categories, each filled with dozens upon dozens of very similar games. As with any overcrowded genre, each game company expends a great deal of effort trying to differentiate itself from its competitors.

From monopolizing popular artists (see: Unison Shift and Itou Noizi) to developing famous scenario writers (see: TYPE-MOON and Nasu Kinoko) and even planning word-of-mouth infamy (see: 0verflow and School Days), there are a huge number of ways that a company can carve out a niche and a fanbase (see: Alice Soft and their never-ending series of strategy/conquest/harem/kitchen sink games).

The most amusing method companies use to distinguish their works is through the genre title. There’s no such thing as a Simulation Life Game (SLG) these days, and most developers won’t stand to see their game called a simple Adventure Game (ADV). No, we have such wondrous things as Dies Irae ~Also Sprach Zarathustra~ from Light, which declares itself a 学園伝奇バトルオペラADV, or “School Romance Battle Opera Adventure.”

The hit parade doesn’t stop there, either. Henshi~n, a cult classic about a boy who turns into cylindrical household objects near girls, is a “Metamorph Dramatic Love Comedy AVG.” Propeller’s latest game, Bullet Butlers , gets even more ridiculous. The game’s genre is listed as 銃と魔法と執事と主のファンタジーＡＶＧ, or “An adventure fantasy of guns, magic, butlers, and masters.”

My absolute favorite, though, is from Zanma Taisei Demonbane, one of the most famous works from Nitro+ - you may have seen the cleaned-up anime version of it, Kishin Houkou Demonbane. In its original game form, the genre was listed as 荒唐無稽スーパーロボットADV. This translates to “Preposterous Super Robot Adventure.” I’m not even taking any liberties with the translation there, that’s literally what it means.

Beyond the cheap chuckles, though, these genre titles are pretty good at letting people know exactly what’s in the game. Skim through the Giga online catalog and you’ll find hard-boiled action-adventures, jealous twin adventures, and alternate universe school adventures. If you just lumped them all under “adventure game,” there’d be absolutely no way of knowing what you were in for. Just like RPGs have been separated into various categories - Massively Multiplayer, Tactical, and Sit There Pressing X In Between Cut Scenes, for example - Japanese gal games have made sure to label themselves in such a way that no fan of a particular genre or Sprouting archetype can possibly miss it.

So if you ever walk into one of the basements of Akihabara, where the gal games are sold, do yourself a favor and skim through the titles. Not only will you get a good laugh, but you’ll usually find out exactly what’s inside and whether or not you’ll like it.

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Today is Wednesday, and that means new comic books hit the stores. I always looks forward to Wednesdays, and not just because I’m guaranteed to see superheroes flying around and stopping evil-doers. There’s a tradition that’s developed around Wednesdays that is, quite honestly, the backbone of my week.

Every Wednesday for the past few years I met up with my friend Sandra for lunch. We used to go to Charlie’s Kitchen in Harvard Square and sit in the same booth every time. For an hour or so we’d sit around in Charlie’s Kitchen having a few drinks, catching up on what happened that previous week and generally shooting-the-breeze. The bartender, a stunning D&D geek named Noreen, came to know us by name, and it was with her that I was finally able to say “I’ll have the usual.” I still think about that black bean burger topped in guacamole. Mmm.

Afterwards we paid the bill and tipped Noreen we would walk a few stores down to the comic book shop, where the employees came to know us by name as well. We’d go straight to the “new this week” section and grab our favorite books, sometimes alongside the employees who were pulling that week’s subscriptions. We’d bullshit with them for a little bit, then I’d see Sandra off at the bus and we’d go home to read our new comics.

I am very much a creature of routine and I still think very fondly of our “Comic Book Days” in Harvard Square.

Things changed, like they do. I moved to San Antonio for a year and was without any friends to share my comic bookery and gossip about people we used to know. There were no bartenders who knew exactly what I wanted every week, much less any I could talk to about my 5th level half-orc mage. I was still able to go buy comic books, but it just wasn’t the same.

I returned to New York briefly, where the comic book shop I went to featured an owner that would routinely yell orders to his employees, often with me standing right beside him. He would also try to sell me comics that I never wanted. “Yer gettin’ this, but not this? Dude, lemme grab you this title over here. Yer gonna love it. It’s only a coupla extra bucks more, right?” He was a very nice man, but every so often his voice still rings in my ears.

I recently returned to Boston where I was reunited with my beloved routine, even though it had also changed, like things do.

Sandra and I no longer go to Charlie’s Kitchen because we live closer to another bar, which has much better lighting and beers from around the world. The waiter who always serves us doesn’t know us by name yet, but when it comes to my lunch I can say “I’ll have the usual” and he knows what I mean. Score.

Noreen moved to New York City, where she is much happier and enjoying great success on her chosen path. I saw her this past summer. She’s still a D&D geek and she’s still stunning.

As for the employees at the new comic book store we go to, they call Sandra everything from “Sarah” to “Sondra,” and they basically know me as “that guy who always comes in with Sondra.” Close enough.

Don’t worry, Sandra, I think you’re stunning, too.

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(Warning: Some of the links may be ‘Not Safe For Work’, and will be marked as such. Click at your own risk.)

Raise your hand if you remember the old ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books from when you were a kid.

Now imagine that the choices you make, instead of leading you to treasure or doom, lead you to either have a successful or unsuccessful date.

That is the world of the girl get (also known as ‘galge’) game.

If you’re a fan of anime or console games, then there’s a good chance you’ve at least heard of one of these games. Several have been made into anime series (Kanon, Air, Tokimeki Memorial, etc.) and others have been reviewed (or bashed, depending on your point of view) by various websites.

In general, you play the protagonist, who can be anyone ranging from the ultra-generic nice guy cipher, to a raging sadist bent on subjugating the women in the game to his will, to everything in-between. The play style usually follows one of a few common templates:

1. Visual novel/Adventure game – the visual novel is the play style that most closely matches the ‘choose your own adventure’ pattern. As you go through the game, choices will occasionally pop up that will determine how the rest of the game goes. These games tend to have several endings, including ‘bad’ ones, and often only have one ‘path’ that will work for their specific ending. Examples of this style are Kanon, the To Heart series, and a lot of adult girl get games.

2. Dating simulator – this game has some of the ‘choose your own adventure’ elements, but focuses more on your character’s statistics. The girls in the game have prerequisites you must meet before you can get their ending, and in some cases, before you can even talk to them. Making the right choices when it comes to improving these stats, as well as during other times (like on dates) is vital to winning the game. The most well-known of this play style is the Tokimeki Memorial series from Konami.

3. “Simulator” – this is a more recent (say the past ten or so years) development in galge games. While there are still goals to achieve and multiple endings in most cases, the way the player gets to the end of the game is through game play that is decidedly different than the first two types. This can be anything from a role-playing game (like the game Brave Soul (link is worksafe, game is not)), a combat simulator combined with an adventure game (the Sakura Wars series), or even a ‘touching’ simulator (the Sexy Beach series, definitely NSFW).

There are certainly other game play types, but these are, in my experience, the three most common. And while there aren’t as many (yet), there are also ‘boy get’ games for those who are so inclined, and even ‘same-gender get’ games.

How many of you out there have played one of these games? If you have, what have you played? If not, are you curious about them, and why?

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Well, I sure hope that everyone’s had a lovely weekend. I know I did- starting on Thursday with a giant feast, and continuing on with a full on geekfest of video games, movies, and You Tube videos of impossible Mario levels designed by a sadist. I even FINALLY got to see Portal. With the exception of a pretty bad case of motion sickness, we all agreed that it is indeed as awesome as has been said. On the whole a great holiday weekend…Well. Now with the Official American Holiday Season Opener out of the way, I am forced to turn my attention to what the heck do I get the geeks on my list? There are dozens of things I could go out and snap up (assuming there are any left after Black Friday,) but most of them have already been pre-ordered by my friends. As a result of that sort of thing I DID get to see Mass Effect, and man is it pretty. We only played for about 2 hours before we had to go be grown ups for a while, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing more from that. On the other hand, it means that he already has it.Another difficulty I often encounter with buying gifts for geeks is that I don’t specialize. I honestly don’t know that much about computer parts or software stats or any of that, so I can’t look for lots of specific things for people. I can’t buy my WoW buddy a better graphics card or my music editing friend a new digital recorder. I could, of course, ASK them their opinion on such things, but I think that the surprise of a gift is half the fun.Well, whatever I do, I’m sure it’ll be appreciated. Maybe I can make everyone an 8 slot bag… everyone needs someplace to put all the loot, right?

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I hope everyone had a great day of feasting yesterday and managed to hold on to some of your hard earned moneys today.  I’ll have something more fun to talk about next week, but for now, I wish you and your’s the very best the season has to offer.

Salut!

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For those of you celebrating it, Happy Thanksgiving!

For everyone else, have a wonderful Thursday!

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I could write about something geek or gaming related, but I since I’m driving to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving today I can’t stop thinking about food. Food. Glorious food.

Good gravy, I love Thanksgiving. It’s one of the easier holidays to get behind because it’s all about stuffing your face with the most delicious food you’re going to eat all year. In my house there are no religious obligations attached. We’re only thinking about stuffing our faces with the most delicious food we’re going to eat all year. Oh man, I’m drooling on my keyboard just thinking about it now.

I’m a vegan, so I get to enjoy my own personal Thanksgiving feast. A nice, big tofurkey (don’t knock it til you try it) smothered in gravy with a generous helping of potatoes and vegetables. Pasta with my mother’s homemade tomato sauce. Marinated mushrooms. Edamame beans that I have to fight my father for. Finally, just for me, a big (vegan) chocolate cake that will ensure my descent into pure and irrevocable gluttony. Delicious gluttony.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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First, a preemptive Happy Thanksgiving to the people who are celebrating it this Thursday! To everyone else, Happy Fourth Thursday of November!

To most American geeks, Thanksgiving means time off from school or work, turkey (you can insert whatever other dish you want) and tons of other food, and time to enjoy their geeky hobbies.

But for a while now, it has come to mean something else.

“Black Friday.”

I don’t honestly remember when it started, but for a long time now, the day after Thanksgiving is a day where my friends (and once, and only once, me) wake up incredibly early (or sometimes not even go to sleep) and stand in line in order to get incredible discounts on everything ranging from toys to computers to games.

At first, it was just something they did. There was no special preparation beforehand. I’d get a call later that day, with the spoils of the day explained to me in detail, and that was the end of it.

Now, some of the people I know go to bed early on Thursday night (admittedly made easier from the Thanksgiving-induced food coma), have made battle plans based on what they’ve learned from staking out the stores and internet research, and prepare snacks, special outfits, and other “necessities”.

I’m not going Black Friday shopping this year, partly due to my own plans and partly because I don’t feel like fighting the insane crowds, but I’m sure that many of the people I know are. And I will admit, I’m kind of looking forward to hearing what they managed to snag.

Are any of you fine folks planning on any Black Friday shopping? If so, where and why? And do you have any special preparations or rituals you do before you go? If you’re not going, what are you going to do?

Me? I’m resting.

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So I spent a fair amount of my weekend failing. I failed at Super Paper Mario. I failed at Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Several times, actually. I will GET YOU, TWILIGHT PRINCESS! *cough* ahem… I failed at being a good, attentive healer for my Significant Other’s warrior in WoW.

So here’s my trouble: games these days are impossible. No, I don’t mean they’re hard. The first Mario Brothers game was hard. The original Legend of Zelda was hard. I still beat them. No, I mean that lately, games seem to have been designed to irritate and confound more than challenge. The fact is that in order to get anywhere in these newer games I HAVE to read a strategy guide or a walkthrough, or I will never find the dungeon key or the special power up that I have to have in order to hit an obscure and un-obvious weak spot on the stage boss.

Back in the Old Days of games (Why in my day we had to walk up hill both ways in the SNOW to get our gaming in!) games were hard. Sometimes unbelievably hard. I know that it took my folks working in concert to get through Zork. My brother and I teamed up on several games on that first Nintendo. The difference is that if you thought about what you were doing for a little while, you could figure out how to time your jumps or solve that puzzle. Today I actually made myself (AND my S.O.) sick trying to hit baddies riding warthogs while steering my horse and shooting birds. Oh and putting out a wagon on fire with a boomerang. That’s not a challenge- that’s a dare not to throw your Wiimote through your TV on PURPOSE.

While I am sure that someone thinks that this is a great idea, I would like to remind that person that even with a controller in each hand humans still only have one brain. Games are meant to be fun, not irritating. I’d prefer the good old days of the merely challenging, and I would trade the advanced graphics for the 8 bits of pure fun of the Old Days any time.

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