It’s the holiday season. And that sickening feeling that’s slowly bubbling in the pit of your soul is anticipation. It’s not the happy kind of anticipation you get when you’re on the verge of pressing your hungry lips to the lips of your significant other. Oh no. This is the dreaded anticipation of the inevitable vacation that spells certain doom! At some point in your relationship, your significant other, who you’ve spent weeks seducing most artfully and whose very look sends your heart aflutter, will turn to you and ask if you would like to spend the holiday with his or her family.

And because you love your significant other, there’s only one possible answer for you.

CERTAIN DOOOOOOM!!!

Surviving the Holiday’s With Someone Else’s Family

If you are a geek and you significant other is a geek, chances are both families have geeky tendencies. If this is the case, you’re in luck.

However, if your significant other is geek lite, chances are his or her family is completely geek free.

Breath, breath. It could be worse.

Take comfort in the knowledge that your significant other probably hates to see you uncomfortable and probably dreads spending the holidays with their family and extended family more than you do. This is good. Misery loves company and there’s nothing more miserable than holiday family gatherings.

Be prepared. You will have to bring a few things to keep your brains from oozing out of your skull box. A DS would be good, especially if you have games you can play networked. These gatherings typically have many children running around. They will probably have a DS as well allowing you to challenge them to Poke battles while the “grown” folk talk about politics and the war (god, the war is sure to be a fun holiday topic). A video iPod or other similar device might not be such a bad idea either. Bring cables with you so that you can connect to a TV so you can be the one who is able to calm the kiddies down and get them to sit still while watching Mobile Suits plow through each other. Every one needs some anime in their holiday. Now might also be a good time to bust out that Watchmen trade paper back. You won’t be able to read comics at the party itself, but at least you’ll have some brain food for before and after should you be cornered into a conversation about what, exactly, it is you do. They don’t really care, they just have nothing else to talk about.

While you’re arming yourself, you might as well practice your winning smile and hand shake. Lots of invasion of personal space at these things so if you prepare yourself mentally, you won’t accidentally hip toss uncle Steve when he comes barreling towards you with his hands outstretched.

It’s Not All That Bad–Okay Fine, It Really Is That Bad

You may be lucky and have an absolutely wonderful time. You’re a lucky bastard because from personal experience, I always leave these family vacations feeling like a I need yet another vacation.

As bad as they tend to be, the nice thing about going to these events with your significant other is that it shows your commitment to the relationship.  Otherwise, why would you bother getting to know the family if you don’t intend to stick around.  That’s a warm fuzzy feeling that will make it all, surprisingly, worth the pain.

And hey, now your significant other owes you one. Time to ask for that plasma TV you’ve always wanted!

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As I’ve mentioned before, the late ’90s were a rather sparse era for properly Burning robot shows. This wasn’t just a wasteland for musical cheese, though. It was a result of the marketing juggernaut known as Neon Genesis Evangelion and the quest for the quick buck.

Eva had an effect on the anime industry that was very much the same as the effect Watchmen had on the comics industry and The Lord of the Rings had on Hollywood. It was so popular, so critically well-received, and most importantly, so hand-over-fist profitable that other companies fell over themselves to imitate it and make “the next Evangelion.”

The time period that followed was quite accurately described to me back in 2000, when I spoke to a member of the GONZO staff (this was right after they made Blue Submarine no. 6) at Anime Expo. He said to me, “Everyone wants to be the next Eva. So nothing makes sense.” In the wake of Evangelion, you saw shows like Gasaraki and Brain Powerd, which concentrated on what they thought were the main selling points of this new style of robot anime: extreme plot obfuscation. It was hard to tell what was going on anymore, and just like M. Night Shyamalan movies, everyone kept trying stranger and stranger concepts with even stupider twists.

Existential angst, which had previously mostly been limited to things like “Oh my God, I killed Lalah by accident,” “I don’t like you and won’t combine robots with you until you admit you’re a prick,” and “My parents named me goddamn fucking Camille,” became an all-encompassing emotion that colored every frame of animation. Life sucked. The world sucked. Robots were stupid (or were Mom, but that’s a different discussion entirely).

This wasn’t entirely the case, of course. At the same time you had kabuki robots and mysteriously translucent space jubblies, you had such gems as GaoGaiGar, which taught people the meaning of courage, and Nadesico, which questioned the black and white moral simplicity of its predecessors while also paying homage to them.

But honestly, if a robot show came out between around 1995 and 2001, there’s about a 90% chance that it wanted very hard to be Evangelion and as a result sucked donkey balls. I’m completely serious about this. Don’t try to look for them.

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I grew up with video games. Literally. When I was a kid I played Space Invaders on my Atari 2600 and nowadays I play The Legend of Zelda on my Wii and World of Warcraft on my computer. When I was a kid I would play Galaga for maybe half an hour before turning it off and running off to play with my friends. Now that I’m a big kid I spend more than a few hours playing World of Warcraft alone.

But it’s not because I’m addicted and can’t stop playing. It’s because it just takes longer to play the damn games.

My ex-girlfriend was not a gamer by any means and thought I was committing too much time to games. She expressed her concern on more than one occasion and I had to break it down for her. My explanation did little to comfort me, either.

“You’ve been sitting in front of that game for three hours now. You’re addicted.”
“I’m not. I started playing with the sole purpose of doing ONE quest.”
“And you’ve done, what, twelve?”
“No, I’m still on the same one.”
“….huh?”
“See, first I had to find the guy who gives me the quest. That took fifteen minutes. Then I got the quest and had to find the area where the quest takes place. That was twenty minutes. Then I had to find the monsters I had to kill in order to complete the quest, but some other people were logged in and got there first, so I had to wait my turn. Now every time I get a ‘game over’ I have to run back to where I died from the starting area, twenty minutes away. And sometimes the monsters I’m supposed to kill don’t give me the items I need to complete the quest at all.”
“So why don’t you just stop playing?”
“I can’t. I’d have to get to a save point first.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“It takes another half an hour to get there.”

I’m glad I’m not a kid during this era of gaming. I rarely made it outside because I was busy reading fantasy novels and comic books. Mom and Dad tolerated that because at least I was reading. The argument I presented to my ex-girlfriend would never have flown with my parents. I know this because I tried it when I visited them this past summer.

*click*
“Mom! What the hell? I didn’t get to a save point first!”
“Tough shit. Days of Our Lives is on.”

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Hi all, Crybringer here.  I’ve been supplimenting an art post alongside Pocky’s topics, but I’m afraid I’m neither familiar enough with The Big Bang Theory on CBS, nor am I a ready caricaturist.  Besides, I have my own series to love — and it’s a special case this time as I’m faced with a moral quandry I’m sure the rest of the gaming world is VERY, VERY familiar with.

Disgaea 3 is coming soon, and I MUST HAVE!

http://disgaea.jp/3/

BUT, it’s on a new system. You know which one, folks. The Playstation 3. Worse yet, it’s running on largely the same graphics engine as it’s PS2 predecessors. While I can’t name names off the top of my head, it’s fairly regular that a game series will move to newer systems to stay healthy and remain a viable purchase. Makes perfect sense, right? Keep the installed fan base, adapt to the new generational hardware and maybe pick up a new set of fans, right?

I won’t rant, and believe me, I’m taking a good, hard look at Disgaea 3. And it’s adorably wicked character designs, goofball antics, 100-megaton-explosion-filled, level 9999, saucy tactical RPG antics really are making me check my bank account more than once. But this will probably be the first time I’ll bankroll a system for a game that should be on it’s predecessor…

What about you, geeks-of-the-week? Ever feel pride/regret for such an act? Do you have a purchase, gaming or otherwise that teeters precariously like this one?

-CB

*Cheap shot at Disgaea 2, which I loved to pieces but was hugely unbalanced.   PROTIP: If you want to win the game, make a cleric, then reincarnate them as a mage.  Long range damage and self-sustaining units > everything else.

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First, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about that kind of “big bang”. If you want that, you’ll want some other blog.

I’m talking about the new sitcom on CBS, The Big Bang Theory. While at its heart it’s a basic ensemble show with a running romantic comedy thread running through most of the episodes, it’s unique in that four of the five principle characters are nerds and geeks. (Yes, both.)

The writing for the show is very solid, and even if I wasn’t partial to it because of the majority of the characters, I’d probably still watch it for the keen dialog. While the show has its fair share of the more cliché sitcom moments, for the most part the writing feels fresh and snappy. (I am likely biased since the show makes me laugh a lot, and the general theme of the show resonates with me somewhat.)

It also doesn’t hurt that the opening theme is by Barenaked Ladies. Their musical style really meshes well with how the show feels. Their geeky lyrics and quick, peppy tune really reflects the show in my opinion.

The principle characters include four of the more stereotypical geek and nerd archetypes, which is a nice change from older shows where any and all nerds where effectively Steve Erkel.

Leonard, effectively the main male lead, is the nerd/geek that wants to be more “normal” in many ways (dating, socializing, etc.), but is unsure of himself and inexperienced in dealing with the “normal” world. His roommate, Sheldon, is the “uber” nerd/geek, being insanely intelligent, but seeing the world through a very narrow (in his case, geeky and scientific) point of view.

Their friend Howard is the sex-obsessed one, and goes about trying to get it with all of the awkwardness and ineptitude most of expect a nerd/geek like him. And their other friend, Raj, is the super-shy nerd/geek, who is at heart a reasonably social person, but who also becomes incapable of speech when faced with his kryptonite – women.

And I can’t forget Penny, the “normal” next door neighbor that Leonard is in love with. She’s a good example of the non-nerd/geek friend who likes her nerd/geek friends, but often just has to nod and smile because she doesn’t quite understand them.

The mix of nerd/geek archetypes, the fairly realistic portrayal of geeky past times (which have thus far ranged from World of Warcraft references to Halo 3 being a semi-important plot point to Lord of the Rings costumes) and lifestyle (check out their wardrobe - I caught myself going “hey, my friend wore that once” more than a few times, and the solid writing and acting have me hooked. I truly think this show is great.

If you don’t watch this show, and watch television at all, I would highly recommend The Big Bang Theory. It’s quite good, and I’m looking forward to the DVD (maybe even hi-def) release.

So, does anyone else out there watch the show? If so, what do you think? Do you have any favorite character(s)?

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Or the week. Sorry guys, I fail at updating today because when I have not been assembling the next issue of Spwug (the dead tree editions) I have been on a cross country airplane or trying to find furniture for my new place. I am, as I type, moving across the US from the DC area to right near LA, and it seems to be somewhat exhausting. Oh man.

Fortunately for me I can sit down on the sofa and watch Meet the Robinsons or play a little Paper Mario for a few minutes before I pass out. (um, ok, so The Boy has most of the furniture thing done already. I’ve been getting a dresser and a night stand. But Ikea is HUGE! Also SCARY! It was HARD to find the dressers!) I will try to have some more coherent thoughts strung together after a little bit of sleep, and make with some better posting.

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Hello, folks! Here’s another post from the lovely and talented Mei Ling!

–

Bees and ants live in hives where the great majority of the individuals are female.* But CG movies of late have wholly ignored this. A Bug’s Life has something of a romance between the lead male character and the princess. Antz… does the same thing. I haven’t seen Bee Movie (and don’t plan to, because it’s more like a “C Movie” according to Yahoo’s user reviews), but the lead is, surprise, surprise, male and in fact, based on the trailers and promotional clips, a great number of the population seems to be male.

What about something that exploits the gender disparity instead? “Oh, all men ever do is sit on the couch and drink beer nectar!” “Men are so helpless! You know they’d never survive if we women didn’t take care of them!” “You know men only have one thing on their minds.” There’s a lot of humor to be mined there, right?

Okay, okay, back to reality. Without a male protagonist, movie makers are generally shooting themselves in the foot as far as target demographic is concerned. And hey, it’s fiction, plenty of films take liberty with facts. But even if the protagonist isn’t a bee or an ant, they could have some other male creature interact with more accurately depicted bees or ants. Portray the bees as Amazon women, for instance.

So, am I alone in being bugged bothered by this? Or do you think utilizing this aspect of bees and ants in movies would result in a commercial flop, and thus, justifies this practice?

*I’m aware that this is a generalization, as there are many, many, many species of bees and ants with all kinds of behavior and social structures.

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Last night, I had the “pleasure” of staying in Suburban hospital’s award winning Emergency Room lobby.  This amused me greatly.  Who knew that they gave out awards for such things?

So what does an award winning ER lobby look like?  Pretty much like you’d expect.  There were three vending machines, one for Pepsi products, one for Coke products, and one for random snacks from various other brands.  In the corner hung a flat panel television broadcasting CNN which is always a winner in my book.  Various and sundry magazines dealing with health and current affairs were strewn around the tables.  And that unpleasant hospital odor filled the air.  If this is the best that hospitals have to offer, I shudder to think what a less-than-award winning ER lobby looks like.

Suffice it to say, I did not have time to come up with any articles for today as we spent the night at the hospital with my father.  Today, we’re transferring him to another facility that can better handle his care.  And we’ll just see how it goes from there.

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A warning before I launch into this week’s column: none of the links I provide contain totally explicit images - though you’ll see some underwear flying around, literally and figuratively. They are mostly safe to view at work. However! Make sure you do not play any of these music clips within earshot of anyone who knows Japanese, because while these songs sound innocent, the lyrics are often tremendously explicit (in the first song, “yours is so big, I’m worried it won’t fit” is probably the least embarrassing line your Japanese-speaking co-workers can overhear). I also take no responsibility for loss of brain cells that may result from listening to any of the songs I mention.

With that said, this week’s column is about the polar opposite of last week’s subject matter. Yes, we’re going to be talking about a relatively young form of J-pop known as denpa.

To understand what denpa songs are, you have to understand what the term comes from. Denpa (電波) means “electro-magnetic wave” in Japanese, and denpa-kei (電波系), or denpa-type, is a term for the kind of strange people who seem to be listening to something that only they can hear (in other words, picking up some weird radio waves). It doesn’t just apply to the kind of weirdos who run around wearing tinfoil hats, though, it has come to extend to people who live off in their own little dream worlds and have trouble communicating with the real world (mostly otaku). So, in essence, denpa songs are songs made to appeal to these types of people.

As with such vaguely defined subculture concepts as moe, the definition of what makes a person or a song denpa can vary wildly depending on who you ask, but generally accepted features of denpa music are:

1) Music and vocals that are politely termed “overly enthusiastic,”and often intentionally horrid.
2) Lyrics that have no meaning (I know translators who’ve lost years of their life to denpa songs).
3) Frequent use of sound effects to fill space, usually sung (examples: “chu chu!” and “yaaaaaay!”).
4) An uncanny ability to get stuck in your head.

Most sources point to the opening of Maid in Heaven, an erotic game released in 1998, as the first denpa song. Conveniently, you can listen to it on YouTube if you really want to hear a maid singing about how thoroughly she’s going to sex you up.

The song that really defined the genre, though, came attached to another erotic game in 2001: Ren’ai Chu! You can hear more of the archetypal denpa stylings in that song: chintzy music, cheerfully clumsy harmony, constant repetition of cutesy noises (chu!), and a knack for sticking around in your brain. The Ren’ai CHU! song was the creation of a singer named KOTOKO, who gave the song its “unique” personality over the constant protests of her producer and composer. For better or worse, it was wildly popular and spawned a legion of imitators, including early earworms Da Pantsu! (2002) and Miko Miko Nurse! (2003).

The denpa style dominated the erotic game arena, creating minor celebrities out of poor singers, and it wasn’t long before it started leaking its way into more mainstream media. In 2004, Tsukuyomi Moon Phase inflicted Nekomimi Mode on the world, and these days you have the Lucky Star opening, which makes me want to murder baby rabbits every time I hear it.

But despite my constant insulting of the denpa genre, it’s not TOTALLY without merit. Denpa has evolved into a form of new wave/techno, and there are songs that actually have musical merit and have competent singers providing the vocals. I can’t name many of them at the moment, but there are also a few that are funny enough that you can forgive them for their faults (prime example: the music for Sega’s game for the Nintendo DS, Feel the Magic, which never fails to make me chuckle).

If, God forbid, you’re actually interested in hearing more denpa music, try checking out the works of ave;new, I’ve Sound, and MOSAIC.WAV - I’m pretty certain that you’ve never heard anything like it.

See you next week, and until then, I think I need to clean out my ears with a power drill.

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I’m in the middle of my Nekobakuretsuconathon at the moment (which is my attendance of Nekocon last weekend and Bakuretsucon this weekend) so my brain isn’t feeling terribly profound. I’d like to write something insightful or even somewhat meaningful but I’m even struggling with a writer’s block regarding Dominic Deegan.

One thing that saves me from writer’s block and the weariness that comes from having done three conventions in four weeks is music. Here are some of the songs I’ve been listening to lately that inspire me, get my blood pumping, and get the horns thrown up in the air.

“The Serpentine Offering” by Dimmu Borgir
Powerful and darkly beautiful metal. I’ve gotten more than one sore throat “singing” along to this one.

“Through the Fire and Flames” by Dragonforce
It’s impossible not to get pumped up by this blisteringly fast and awesome song.

“Becoming the Dragon” by Trivium
The title alone says it all.

“Read A Book” by Bomani “D’Mite” Armah
Ridiculous twist on crunk. Its positive message is infectious.

“Freya” by The Sword
Old school hard rawk about the important stuff… goddesses and battle.

“Cry of the Blackbirds” by Amon Amarth
This song makes me want to be a viking.

“Eden” by Hooverphonic
An honestly beautiful song that never fails to calm me right down.

“The Maiden and the Minstrel Knight” by Blind Guardian
My favorite Blind Guardian ballad ever. This one speaks for itself.

Maybe I’ve opened your ears to something new, and maybe not. Either way, I’m going to pump these songs into my chariot and ride into battle… er, I mean I’m gonna play these on my iPod while I go run errands. Either way, I’ll be a happy Mookie.

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