It’s almost inevitable. Every holiday season, sneakily nestled within the piles and piles of loot bought for you by people who actually know you and still like you will inevitably lurk a gift that no one in their right mind would ever, eeeeeeeeever want.  Typically, this is a clothing item of some sort from an aunt or an uncle who feels obligated to send you something because you were small and cute once and they choose to remember you that way for all eternity.  So, let us come up with some creative solutions to deal with unwanted holiday swag.

If your unwanted gift is an item of clothing, wear it for a day, especially if it’s particularly gaudy.  It’ll make for a nice conversation piece with your friends and co-workers especially if it doesn’t match your personal style.  Who knows, you could get such a laugh out of it, you just might keep the offending article.  If you really really can’t stand it, donate it as part of a clothing drive.  Someone out there can surely use a horribly colored sweater.  And you can always exchange it at the store.  Aunts and uncles are usually smart about clothing gifts.  They know you’ll probably hate it so they usually send along the gift receipt.

If your gift is a DVD that you never ever wanted to watch on purpose ever (say, Showgirls), you’re in luck.  Hang on to the offending film and host a shitty movie party with a bunch of your friends.  Grab some nachos, crack open a six pack, and spend some time with your friends lambasting the cinematic travesty unfolding before your eyes.  And of course, you can always return it.

Those are usually the two types of unwanted swag that show up at my door every holiday.  If you find that your offending gift falls outside of these two categories, my suggestion is to always use it first before you return, donate, or mangle it.  You can get a lot of enjoyment out of a completely useless gift!

Happy holidays!  I hope you all have a great time with your friends and families!

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 21st, 2007 at 9:42 am and is filed under Holidays, Angry Zen Master. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. Both comments and pings are currently closed.