Greetings, people of Earth!

It is I, once again – The Don. Man, these Thursdays really come around quickly, don’t they? I feel like I’m careening down a race track at breakneck speed in nothing but a thin, wiry frame, four wheels and a couple hundred pounds of power rumbling behind me, threatening to eat the back of my head with a side of rice and a biscuit.

Where am I going with this? I’m glad you asked.

This week I will be doing a review of the new Mario Kart Wii game for the Wii (duh):

It’s hard to pick a place to start, so I’ll break it down into categories:

The graphics – though all Wii players are very familiar with the fact that Wii games don’t hold up anywhere close to the other next-gen consoles, I swear this game is a drastic improvement over the GameCube graphically. I haven’t really had a chance to compare, but I think I can trust myself. I’d never lie to me, so there’s that. These graphics are superb.

The controls – Holy crap! Though you have the option to use either the Wiimote/Nunchuck, the classic controller, or the GameCube controller, this game absolutely owns when you use the new Wii steering wheel peripheral. It enhances the game play, making you feel more like you’re a part of each race. The button controls are easy to access from the wheel, and there are a few new tricks you can pull off while racing – like mid-air flips and side jumps. There are now all sorts of ways to earn mini-boosts, and the original mini-boost has been simplified somewhat, providing a more streamlined racing experience.

The content – There is a lot in this game! Even though the exceptional team-up ability that debuted in Double Dash has been left behind, there is still plenty of stuff to inhale here. I haven’t even begun to unlock everything yet. The amount of content may pale in comparison to the recently released Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but it’s no slouch either. There are, of course new courses to traverse, and man - are they wicked! There be some craziness lurking in around these roads. Oh, did I say roads? Sometimes where you’re going you don’t need… roads. I gotta tell you, just when you think Nintendo couldn’t come up with any more ideas for tracks, they prove you wrong. Sure, some of the tracks follow a familiar formula, but then they smack you upside the face with some creativity. From cold, snowy ski slopes to racing through the mall (yes, the mall!!), You won’t get bored with the scenery.

One of the coolest additions to Mario Kart Wii is the inclusion of the new vehicle class – motorcycles! I will admit, they are a little more difficult to handle than their 4-wheel counterparts, but once you get the hang of them you may not want to go back to the old, boring mainstays.

Now, any of you who have been a little irked at the online play offered by Brawl will find some solace here. Nintendo realized their mistake and have added a Mario Kart Channel to the game. The disc includes an install that will put the channel on your Wii menu so that you can see who among your friends is online before you even start up the game. This, plus a well laid out game menu makes this Nintendo title the first step in a better gaming experience.

Difficulty – Did I say holy crap already? This game is extremely fun to play, but I swear it has to be the most frustrating entry in the series so far. And this is coming from the guy who almost through his DS on several occasions while playing Mario Kart for that system. In fact, I eventually completed the DS version. This one however, is utterly insane! It’s like that neighbor you once had who smeared himself all over with jelly and shouted at your tool shed for an hour. But when you tried to shoo him away or call the cops he would simply grow wings from his face and fly off to faraway lands where he would be allowed to eat puppies.

Okay, not that crazy.

But, wow! The tracks themselves already lie in wait with the crazy – with twists and turns that put an M. Night Shyamalan movie to shame (okay, not that hard to do). Then the obstacles come out of nowhere and punch you in the hi, how are ya?. And that still pales in comparison to the amped up level that the other racers play at. I swear, I was bombarded every 2 seconds by everyone with every weapon the game has to offer. Yeah, I got a banana. Baby Mario gets an invincibility star, a Bullet Bill, and nuclear “Nintendo Doesn’t Want You To Win” device. And don’t even get me started on that first Rainbow Road track. Who smoked that one up?

Playing frustrations aside, this game is still loads of fun to play. In fact, the frustration is part of the fun, especially when you add other players to the mix. I’ve been a fan of the Mario Kart series since day one on the SNES. This addition only justifies that addiction, as well as its place as one of the top racing games worldwide.

Word of caution, though – do not threaten your wife with the Wii wheel. Never ever, even in jest. You won’t like how you wear your new accessory.

The Don is going the distance. He’s going for mead.

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I was watching a preview of the upcoming episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and there’s a conversation between Zuko and Sokka that caught my eye ear.

Warning: POSSIBLE SPOILER

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POSSIBLE SPOILER:

Sokka: My first girlfriend turned into the Moon.

Zuko: *thinks for a second, then completely seriously says:* That’s rough, buddy.

This is one of the funnier and more unexpected things I’ve heard recently.

So, have you ever run into a line or lines in a show that made you stop in your tracks, thinking, “Did they just say that?” What was the line? Do you use the line yourself?

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It’s been rough for a lot of people.  Money’s tight.  Work is fleeting, and when it’s not, it’s a punishing rain of stupid.  In this time of disarray, the geek nature thrives.  GUILTY PLEASURES, my friends.  Guilty pleasures.

-The frothy quadruple cream & sugar of this cup of links: “Kamen No Maid Guy.”

Kogarashi is easily one of the silliest concepts yet.  A 7-foot tall, superpowered, shark-toothed, musclebound, MIT-graduate(!) ninja in a maid costume?!  His ear’s a USB 2.0 interface!  He’s got x-ray vision!  Hair radar?!  It’s not going to change the world, or provide true innovation in any way, but what it does, it does better than most.  I do also enjoy that this male lead is neither waifish, limp-wristed, or TRAGIC.  He’s a monster!

-”Invincible” is a quintessential superhero comic, mixing the teenaged angst and growth of Marvel’s Spider-Man, takes a large part of it’s pacing and structure from DC’s Justice League of America (sometimes even lampooning them), and is deeply integrated with Image’s stable of heroes (Savage Dragon even makes an appearance!)  But luckily, Invincible spins it’s own unique tale of a superhero’s coming-of-age and throws a heckuva curveball too.

“King of Thorns“ is a survival-horror story; afflicted carriers of a deadly virus that’s stricken the world, awaken from cryosleep to find the population devastated and what seems to be dinosaurs (?) roaming the land.  But while ruin and desolation are everywhere, there are a lot of clues that don’t add up.  The story is ripe with both interesting twists and though the story might seem average, it’s polished so well that characters don’t suffer for it, and the pacing is extremely well done.  

-TIME TRAVEL!  “The Guardian Legend/Guardic Gaiden” for the NES/Famicom is a recent replay this blogger is currently going through.  Still one of the best fusions of a vertical shmup (scrolling shooter) and a adventure game in the vein of the original Legend of Zelda.  Unique weaponry, high difficulty, bizarre monster designs, and well.. a cyborg lady warrior in a bikini who transforms into a high speed fighter ship.  Yes.

-My old man pointed this one out: the Maybach 62 Landaulet.  Rampant and aggressive Ebay sales might land you this disgustingly pretty set of wheels.

That’s all for now — it’s time to get back to the grind, ladies & gentlemen!

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Life has this way of sneaking up and clubbing me repeatedly over the head with a spiked bat. After such weeks (and it’s happened rather recently, in case you couldn’t tell), I like to sit down, relax, and enjoy a steaming hot cup of silly. But in my advanced age and irreversibly jaded sense of humor, not just any silly will do.

Luck Star is a show that should have, by all logic, come and gone like many other series — it has no discernible plot, no character growth, and there’s really no beginning or end to the story. But like at least one other slice-of-life high school comedy before it, Lucky Star still managed to capture the hearts of countless fans.

What makes it so appealing? That’s hard to say. If anything, the series brings lights to its fans’ obsessions, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Konata, arguably Lucky Star’s lead character, is a hardcore otaku — every other word out of her mouth is about anime, video games, or moe. She personifies the otaku stereotype and yet… she’s not one of them.

Could it be the other characters? Konata’s close friends fall all over the place across the fan spectrum. There’s Tsukasa, who could easily be mistaken for an old fan-favorite character; Miyuki, who exemplifies the moe ideal; and then there’s Kagami, the tsundere who’s a casual light novel and shooter videogame fan.

Could it be its unusual format? At the end of each episode is a short talk-show-ish segment, Lucky Channel, which could be another show in of itself. It’s hosted by Kogami Akira, a school-girl loli who often drops her cutesy routine to speak in a rough, chain-smoking, yakuza street-tough accent; and co-hosted by Minoru Shiraishi playing himself. Don’t ask me why. There’s even sort of a miniature plot-arc that occurs across that bit as well. Each closing credit segment is different too, with the earlier part of the season featuring the closed door of a karaoke room, and the main characters singing on the other side.

Maybe it has to do with how the show reaches out to its fans. In addition to its plethora of pop-culture references and otaku in-jokes, the series features many real-life landmarks, and as such otaku pilgrimages have been witnessed at these locales. One of these oft-visited sites has embraced its newfound popularity and welcomes fans with open arms — and the series turns right back around and jokes about the situation in one of its later episodes.

Perhaps it’s the show’s infectiously catchy music. Like its predecessor from Kyoto Animation, Lucky Star also featured a song-and-dance animation sequence that exploded in popularity and spread like wildfire through the streets of Akihabara and the Internet. Its opening music, Motteke! Sera-fuku! and accompanying dance choreography has been used time and again in fan made videos and parodies — no one was safe.

Any one of these reasons could have made a show popular, but when it’s all put together, it’s no wonder the series became as much of a hit as it was… at least in Japan. Now, Bandai is taking its chances by bringing it to us in the US. How many of the jokes will translate over remains to be seen, but I challenge you to watch it without instantly seeing a part of yourself in the characters. Bonus points if you can watch the opening without getting the song stuck in your head.

The first volume of Lucky Star will be released on May 6, in both a regular edition, and a chock-full of goodies collector’s edition.

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Sorry for the constant delays, folks. Things have been a little on the crazy side.

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Had this jam stuck in my head, Shai’s “If I Ever Fall in Love” (obviously, not Shai in the video). So let’s talk about friends and lovers.

There’s a movie coming out, Made of Honor, where Mc Dreamy’s best gal pal gets engaged. Only then does he realize that he loves her and not just in a platonic friend way. You probably don’t need to suffer through the film to predict that he’ll eventually close the deal and get with his friend. What a home wrecker.

I’ve actually witnessed similar scenarios with my friends. All of a sudden one will realize the other is the one and random acts of dating break out! It’s so darn sweet. And no one is very surprised because everyone else knew they were perfect for each other.

On the other hand, for me personally, it’s never ended well. The two times I professed my love for someone who started as a friend were disastrous. One time I right out blurted “I’m in love with you” and things went from awkward to get the fuck away from me in a matter of weeks. The other time I planted one right on her lips. Never knew you could un-kiss someone but there she was, un-kissing me. That too ended fairly poorly.

I suspect it takes a much lighter touch than just blurting it out or face attacking to break out of the “Friend Zone.” You Friend Zone is the area you place your friends. You rarely see them as dating material let alone potential lovers. If you find most of the time you spend with your friend is in the company of other friends, you’re deep in the Zone.

But all is not lost! Since you’re in the Zone already, it’s not that unusual to ask your friend to hang out with just you, sort of like a disguise date. Go on enough of these disguise dates, you may start to emerge from the Zone without your friend really realizing it. Unfortunately, this may backfire and put you into the “Sibling I Never Had Zone.” Then you’re totally screwed.

If you’re crush has gotten to the point where you just have to make a move or you’re going to explode, you must be willing to sacrifice your friendship. If you succeed in wooing your friends, the benefits are obvious. There will be much rejoicing and laughter. If you fail, you may loose your close friend forever.  There will be much pain and sadness. And if you never try, you’ll never know.  There will be much Friend Zone.

Still, if you ever fall in love again, it might be good to make sure the lady is a friend.  Doesn’t have to be your best friend.  But you should probably get along as friends first before you go in with the face sucking.

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Andy Robles, the artist behind http://zeroa.deviantart.com, good friend and associate to Spwug writers, Artist Alley regulars here on the East Coast, and an all around humble guy, passed away last night.  His 30th birthday is in late May.

He had been struggling with cancer for a few years, and amazingly (even while hospital bound) continued producing artwork at great speed, variety and detail.  His presence will be greatly missed.  The staff and artists for Angry Viking Press will dedicate our latest and newest runs of comics to his memory.

Rest In Peace, Andy.  Your work, you plans for the future; comics or otherwise won’t be forgotten. 

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Well hello, random passers-by!

Here we are at installment number three, and so far I show no signs of slowing down or changing my gait.

*pant, huff, huff, pant*

Hang on, let me catch my breath… Okay! As promised, I’m changing this week’s segment of OotD up a bit. Nothing related to Spider-Man, no sir. This week, it’s zombies! You know, zombies? The living dead? Reanimated corpses come to devour your flesh and/or your brains?

Yeah… you know zombies. Otherwise, why would you even be here? You didn’t actually believe there would be punch and pie, did you?

So today I’m talking about zombies. And not just random zombies, mind you. Nope. This week I’m going to tell you a little tale about how I was a zombie for a day.

First, a little back story: A few years ago a friend of mine – we’ll call him Dan -and I went to our first Horrorfind horror convention in Baltimore. While we were there we watched this horror/comedy film made by an independent film company based out of Charlottesville, Virginia called Darkstone Entertainment. The film in question – Skeleton Key (no, not the one starring Kate Hudson).

Johnny Johnson of Darkstone Entertainment, minutes before his pants were slain by poisonous guppies.

I have to admit, my first reaction was “What the hell am I watching?” It was a low-budget, direct-to-video, horror film. It looked very amateurish. We sat there as we were bombarded with strange and insane imagery, and walked away thoroughly confused.

Then we found out that Johnny and his cohorts were there at the con in person. Dan was the first to approach and converse with Mr. Johnson. I followed suit, and over time began to realize just what mad geniuses these guys are. They are well aware of the kind of films they make, and make no apologies. The genius is that they have a great sense of humor about themselves, and it’s apparent in the films they make.

Over time, Dan and I have become acquaintances of Johnny and company. Every year we talk to them for awhile at their table during Horrorfind. Every year we talk bravado about how we definitely want to participate in some of their films. And every year we do the exact opposite.

Until this past Sunday.

It was Dan that made the initial jump. He’d been in contact with Johnny for awhile, much to my unawares. He had finally coordinated an opportunity to be a zombie in Darkstone Entertainment’s newest installment of the Skeleton Key series. And being the friend that he is, he brought me along for the ride…

First off, the obligatory disclaimer – I am not responsible for any blindness, madness, loss of mental facilities, or eye gouging that may occur upon viewing the pictures you are about to witness. That said, my humble apologies for what I’m about to subject you to.

One lesson to be learned when filming a movie of any sort – when the call sheet (that’s that neat piece of paper telling you what cast and crew are to report that day at what time and for how long) says you will be filming from 11 AM to 5 PM, that really means that make-up, prep and travel time will take 5 hours, while the actual filming will take all of 30 minutes. Better bring a book to read or whatever portable game system is fashionable this week. Or you could actually talk to the other poor folk who are suffering this with you. Insensitive jerk.

So there I was, knee-deep in local insurgents… oops. I mean Dan, our friend Megan, and I had arrived reasonably on time and rushed upstairs to the offices of Darkstone Entertainment.

And waited.

Even after getting shot several times, I still managed to snag that jerk’s camera.

The next several hours were spent quoting different facets of pop culture, picking the brain of the head honcho (see what I did there?), and each of us taking a turn going through the make-up process:

Mariah’s plan to fool Gargamel with giant Smurfs seemed like a foolproof plan…

The process was not quick. First, we each had to have all of our exposed areas airbrushed with a blue, water-soluble mixture. This took anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour. This, of course, depended on how naked you were. Then we had to dry, which took a couple of minutes. The results left me feeling a little blue:

Using magic to turn up the thermostat when it’s freezing does not work. Even when angry.

After the first process was complete, we were then bombarded with black highlights to give us that spooooky, zombie look.

“Why blue,” you ask? You know, that’s a good question. I have no frelling clue. I never even bothered to ask. Yeah, I’m not very good at this. I do know that it’s the color Johnny Johnson uses for all three films, so there’s that.

And there’s this:

Blue Man Group, Wyoming chapter.

After make-up was complete, and the “guts” to be used for the day’s filming had been mixed together, we were on our way to the shooting location. It was a fun shoot. The clouds above were threatening to dump upon us, but they backed off when I threatened them with threats. Our scene was shot rather quickly, and before we knew it, it was time to pack up and go home. And to wash off all that make-up that took hours to apply.

Overall, it was a fun experience. I look forward to this August, when the film premieres at the next Horrorfind convention. And I may even get another chance to get more screen time. The movie shoot runs through May, and I’ve been invited back to go through the whole experience again. I just might. I’ve been bitten by the “bug”, and now I’ve got the fever… or maybe that’s the infection.

Brains?

The Don just died in your arms tonight. Must have been something he ate.

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Sorry, folks. Have a stomach flu.

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I’m awful sorry that I’ve been so absent of late. Life, sadly, has a way of screwing up schedules right when you don’t want it to, and that’s pretty much what happened. Ah well.

While I’ve been trying to cope with life’s little insanities over the past couple of weeks, the calmest moments have been coming at my job. You see, I am an office temp right now, and I’m currently assigned to a financial firm. The branch I’m working in is fairly relaxed, since it’s where all the paperwork gets shuffled and things get processed, but it’s still a financial firm and I’m wearing more suits and high heels than I ever have before.

I’ve been there for a few weeks now and I only just noticed something that made me think. I was jolted a bit out of my paper-shuffling stupor by an overheard comment across the cubicles: “You two are like Mario and Luigi!” *blink* now I’m not sure exactly what he meant by that statement since I hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation till that moment- whether the two in question were always seen with each other, were color coded, or were constantly rescuing inept princesses- but it made me sort of look around. I realized that I’d been working in a cubicle farm with distinctly geeky slant to it. There was a Hello Kitty toy here, a Transformer figure there- traces of geekdom dotted the desks.

The more I looked, the more I realized that this is the result of the total cultural saturation of things like Nintendo and anime. Now that I’m looking around more a bit, I realize that it’s everywhere I go, and on the one hand I’m glad to see that it’s more socially mainstream and accepted, but on the other I feel a little bit like my secret clubhouse has been ransacked. I dunno.

How does anyone else feel about it?

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