Office of the Don #1: Establishing My Geek Cred
Hello, dear readers.
I am proud to introduce our newest writer to the Spwug fold, Donnie Sturges! He’ll be writing his column, ‘Office of the Don’, every Thursday.
And now, his first post:
Well, hello! I suppose I should start this off with the Universal Greeting:
Bah weep granah weep ninni bong…
My sincerest apologies. I seem to be all out of Energon treats. Hopefully, you won’t mind sticking around for a bit anyway. You see, I was given this great opportunity to provide you readers with a weekly fix of… well… whatever I have in mind. Maybe I’ll review a comic book, movie or video game. Maybe I’ll offer up a witty editorial. Maybe I’ll do The Safety Dance. Maybe not that last one.
Hopefully you’ll keep visiting The Office of The Don to see what I have to offer up each week. But first, I feel it necessary to prove I am worthy of such an honour. And to do that, I present to you a review of the very first comic book I ever read that made me a comic book geek. And that distinction goes to Marvel Tales Featuring Spider-Man # 172.
The year is 1984. Christmastime. A young boy bearing a striking resemblance to a nine-year-old version of me begins to go through his stocking. What does he find? I mean besides candy, a comb, some socks and a couple of Hot Wheels cars?
If you said anything other than the issue I just mentioned, you haven’t been paying attention. Shame on you.
So there it was in my hands, Marvel Tales #172, courtesy of my grandparents. Now, the thing that caught me eye immediately was the cover:
What an intense image! Spider-Man is in some serious trouble! And what’s with that text box? The Final Chapter?!? Ominous! Do I even know what the word ominous means at the age of nine? I don’t know! But man, I’ve got to read this right now!
And so I did, pouring over each page with an intense fever. I took in every detail of Steve Ditko’s art as it melded perfectly with Stan Lee’s storytelling. With the turn of each page, I slid farther and farther to the edge of my seat. I was gripped.
Let me take a moment to break things down with a brief story synopsis: Peter Parker’s Aunt May has fallen ill and is in the hospital. In order to save her, our hero unselfishly donated some of his blood to help her recover. Oooooh…. there’s just one problem, Peter. You didn’t consider the fact that your irradiated Spider-Blood would make things worse.
And so, with Aunt May’s condition worsening, Peter has to retrieve a special serum - the only thing that can save his Aunt’s life from the sudden radiation poisoning. This retrieval ends up pitting him directly against Doc Ock himself. And minions! Man, I hate minions. Always running around, minioning everywhere.
The fight between our favourite wall-crawler and the insidious human cephalopod ends up at Octavious’ secret lair. Did I mention that this is an underwater lair? Yeah. Based on the cover, you already know where this is going. Amidst all the fighting, heavy damage is dealt to the lair’s structure, causing the whole place to start falling down around their ears. Ock takes advantage of the situation, and just as a HUGE chunk of steel falls on top of Spidey, - pinning him - Ock escapes.
So now our intrepid hero is trapped beneath several tons of steel, water pouring in all around him from the outside (Did I say a brief synopsis? I meant the opposite.). As he lies there, our boy Petey’s got all sorts of negative thoughts going through his head. But, all of them are focused solely on the family and friends he feels he let down. Not once does he think of himself. With all these thoughts running through his brain, Spidey realizes that he can’t give up. With every ounce of his strength, every muscle straining and aching and screaming in agony, Spider-Man… slowly… lifts… the heavy hunk of steel, inch by inch. And with his final effort, Spider-Man does this:
Wow. Simply incredible. And in case you were worried, let me assure you - the Wall-Crawler successfully escapes, delivers the serum to the hospital, and saves his Aunt May for what will become a regular staple of the series.
As a young, impressionable boy of nine, this comic book had a major impact on me. Stan Lee conveyed perfectly through his characterization of Peter Parker the human struggle. He was able to balance realism with the fantastical. Sure, Peter Parker was a superhero, but he also had to deal with all the same emotional issues and real life problems we all did. And this issue was the perfect example of that. With each panel illustrating how Spider-Man struggled to lift the heavy chunk of steel off of him, I strained with him, hoping against hope that he could do it. Every page was met with exuberance. And if Lee’s writing was the winning pitch, Ditko’s artwork was the hit that knocked the issue out of the park. He was able to perfectly convey all of the emotion and action perfectly on every page. It pulled me into the story. It made me believe. It made me a fan - a comic book fan and a Spider-Man fan.
I find out not too long after that Marvel Tales was just a series that reprinted older issues of Amazing Spider-Man. But, I didn’t care. I was already on my way into geekdom. I started collecting other Spider-Man books, and eventually, other titles. To this day, my collection continues to grow, much to my wife’s chagrin. But, it’s no big deal. Anytime she gives me a hard time about it, I challenge her to a lightsaber duel.
But that’s another story for another time.
Tune in next week when I do something crazy. What could it be? Will I splash water on a poodle, or will I unlock the secrets of the universe? With my geek cred proven, it could be anything. Come back to The Office of the Don next week to find out.
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