Office of the Don #38: Mission to Mars
Greetings, Thuggees!
Today’s tale begins with a lone warrior. His physical preparations for his journey are complete and his hunger has been sated. It is now time for our intrepid hero to embark on his trip to Mars. This year, the red planet promises to offer up the sights and sounds of technologies from a bygone era – items and inventions of steam and punkish glory that lie in wait to be rediscovered by this courageous explorer.
Our protagonist makes his final preparations to board his vessel, his mind awash in shades of rampant imagination. His heart beats with excitement. There is eagerness in each step.
But… something is wrong. In the shadows a silent, evil visitor waits to strike! He descends upon our intergalactic champion with speed and cunning. Before the space warrior can react, the evil one strikes! As the dust settles and the air clears, all that remains is our fallen hero – a victim of The Shadowstone.
Hi. I’m The Don and I’m here to talk to you about a serious issue. Our friend above fell prey to the evil Shadowstone, but there is something more sinister in real life that we should all be aware of: kidney stones. They don’t attack you like in our story above, but are just as dangerous to your health. They can grow inside your kidneys and hurt really bad! So be careful kids, and avoid kidney stones. You can read more about them at your local library. Until next time…
So yeah, I was on my way to Marscon and a frelling kidney stone decided it didn’t like my recent decision to start exercising so that I can start writing these articles as The Thin Don.
Luckily, the stone took pity on me after hearing my pathetic cries and left me after only a couple of hours. I wasn’t able to make it to the convention Friday night, but I sure as hell flew my vessel drove my car to the con Saturday and Sunday.
And here lies the essence of this piece – a short and sweet Marscon report.
There isn’t much to tell. And to be honest, that’s actually a good thing. One of the things I love about Marscon is that it’s a small con – a Relaxicon (patent pending), if you will.
Danny Valentini (my partner-in-crime at 2wcOnline) and I were asked back this year to be guests because our web comic The Draconia Chronicles is the quickest gunslinger in the west (never lost a draw, they say!). And since all of our perpetual lies about The Draconia Chronicles being the quickest gun in the west seemed to have fooled folks into offering us guest status at a convention, we heartily accepted!
We found out late in the game that we had a web comics panel Friday night, another one Saturday morning, and one more Sunday morning. Now, I can’t vouch for Friday (stupid Shadowstone kidney stone), but Danny says that it was a decent turn-out with some great discussion. And I believe him, you betcha!
Saturday morning’s panel was fun. It was still a little too early for a Saturday, but between the awesome group of people that showed up and the excellent variety of topics that were covered; I think it was a very productive morning.
Sunday was a short day. The crowd for that 10 AM panel was the smallest of the weekend, yet we still managed to enjoy ourselves with crazy talk for an hour.
Now, you’re probably yawning at this point and wondering when I’m gonna get on with the run-down of the con itself. The truth is, it seemed the convention was a little light this year, in attendance, as well as in use of theme. The theme for Marscon this year was all things steampunk. And to be honest? I didn’t see that many congoers suited up in the theme. In fact, I didn’t see that many costumes at all this year. There were the different Stormtroopers running around, but they had a panel on “How to Make a Stormtrooper Costume”. It would be kinda silly to do a panel and not wear a costume as an example.
There was an incredibly cool, homemade George Pal Time Machine sitting in the lobby that you could sit in. Otherwise, the theme didn’t seem to be all that present. I’ve been to a few Marscons in the past. When they did the pirate theme or the super hero theme, you can bet that there were lots of costumes running around in support. Even the Con Suite was done up in themed decoration for previous years. This year, the theme just fell short.
That’s not to say the con was a dud. Not at all. I have to admit, the lighter attendance was a welcome change, as finding a parking space in at the small hotel was a blessing. The panels that I was able to attend (or be a part of) were fun, as they always seem to be. The display tables (such as the Lego folks) were a fun distraction on the way to wherever you happen to be going. The band that Marscon has every year – Coyote Run – never fails to entertain. The same goes for comedy troupe Luna-C.
And then there’s the Rocky Horror live production, put on by Norfolk’s own Fishnet Inc. It has become a tradition in recent years for Danny and me to stay up late Saturday night to witness this fun-filled spectacle. The Fishnet crew never disappoints.
And I think that’s the important thing to make clear here – even though the con felt light in theme and attendance, it’s never light in substance. There’s always plenty to do, even if that just means you get to hang out with friends you only get to see at conventions or you get to talk to that uberfan who loves your web comic and will gladly talk to you about it for hours, reigniting your excitement for it amidst your hazy, sleep-deprived brain.
That’s why I love Marscon, and that’s why I’ll gladly go back there every year – whether I’m asked to be a guest or not. It’s a con where I get to have fun, relax and just enjoy myself.
But next time, I’m training my kidneys to kick ass and take initials. They don’t have time to take full names.
The Don is not a “stoney individual”, no matter what Pauly Shore says.
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