Greetings, Ko-Dan Armada!

You may remember that last fall I brought you my picks for the fall television shows worth watching in the 2009-2010 season.

It’s not over yet.

U.S. networks like to do this little thing called “mid-season replacements”.  For the broadcast networks, this usually means they replace a show that’s been performing weakly in the fall in January with another show that’s been sitting in their coffers with the hopes that it will do better ratings-wise.  This is not only a big middle finger to the show being replaced, but is kind of a back-handed middle finger to the show doing the replacing, as the replacement show was considered not good enough to start in the fall season in the first place.

Cable networks, on the other hand, view mid-season shows a little differently.  Cable, in their efforts to compete with the “big dogs”, like to schedule many of their shows to start in the spring or summer and end in the fall or winter.  This is so they can pull in all the viewers that would most likely be watching repeats on the major networks.

What this causes is a kind of television symbiosis.  Everyone benefits, no one gets screwed over (except Conan).

I just happen to have two more picks for this television season, one from each category:

“Chuck”

What else can I say about this show?  I think I made my point clear last spring when I went out and bought a five dollar foot long at Subway in order to help keep this show on the air.  Turns out NBC let us believe that the ploy worked, and “Chuck” was renewed for a third season.  Unfortunately, NBC pulled a Monkey’s Paw on the fans and decided not to air it until March.

The television gods must also like five dollar foot longs, because suddenly – like an astromech droid suddenly popping off with a bad motivator – NBC suddenly decided a couple months ago to jettison a couple of their shows that they deemed to expensive or weak ratings-wise.  This paved the way for “Chuck” to have its premiere moved to January.  And there was much rejoicing (yaaaaaaay).

And so far, the show has continued to deliver.  With the main character’s abilities cranked up a notch, the show has also upped the ante character and plot wise.  Add to that some surprisingly impressive guests stars, and “Chuck” continues to be a solid, fun show to watch.

“Burn Notice”

I’ve written about this show before, as well.  When I did my first “Autumn” article last fall, one of the comments I received was that I forgot to include this show.  Not at all.  I just had to wait to include it since it is technically a mid-season series.

And what a series it is.  I managed to catch a random episode of this last year and I was hooked.  I was already about two and a half seasons behind, so I had a lot of catch-up to play.  I ended up marathonning the sucker.  Worth every hour of therapy.

This show continues to exhibit some really tight writing combined with a stellar main cast.  Everyone is simply a pleasure to watch do their thing.  Finding myself literally on the edge of my seat during every episode, “Burn Notice” has the perfect amount of tension, suspense, humor, and drama.  And I can’t mention this enough: it has Bruce Campbell.

With the way the current television climate is… okay, I’m sorry.  There’s just no way I can end this article that will be able to measure up to mentioning the Almighty Chin himself.  It’s impossible.  I just can’t do it.

So instead, I will let the man himself take us out:

The Don has… no.  No.  I just can’t do it.  Bruce Campbell!

By now, you may be sick of hearing about Haiti. If that’s the case, you’re pretty darn lucky right now to be well off enough that disasters don’t affect you. Haiti’s a good cause, if you’re of the donating mind. There are many good links and resources being widely advertised, and that’s why this article is not about Haiti, but about the equally-important yet lesser-known cause of putting a stop to human trafficking and slavery.

Yeah, I thought we were living in the 21st century too. Apparently some people didn’t get the memo. Here’s the situation, as written on the site I’m about to link you to:

There are currently 27 million enslaved people worldwide- more than double the number of enslaved Africans during the trans-Atlantic slave trade. UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children every year are sold into slavery, most of it sexual. The US Department of Justice estimates 16,000 victims of human trafficking are brought into the United States every year.

A lot of wonderful webcomics have banded together and formed the Comic Creator’s Alliance. The recent donation drive they held ended January 24th, but the organizations they were trying to benefit can still be reached (and donated to) from the main page of the Alliance’s site!

There’s really not a whole lot I can say about this. Not a whole lot to BE said, really. Slavery is a Very Bad Thing which must be stopped. End of story.

I just want to give the participants their well-deserved kudos. And if you want to see who took part in the Comic Creator’s Alliance this year, drop by the listing! (And maybe drop by their webpages and give them some love on your way back from donating some coin to save humanity.) These people are fighting the good fight, doing what must be done, and all those other clichés that boil down to just being awesome people.

The more you know, amIright?

Greetings, Fire Gang!

This past weekend I once again had the honor of guesting at Marscon with my 2wcOnline cohort Danny Valentini.  It was a laid back, relaxing affair, just as it is every year.  Our obligations are usually light – do a couple of panels, spend the rest of the day wandering about and enjoying the sights, as well as spend time with friends.  And fortunately for me, my body realized that it was not without sin, therefore it did not cast the first (kidney) stone at me.  Without that little meddler, it was quite an enjoyable weekend.

It’s at this point that it occurs to me that some of you may be wondering which Marscon I attended, as there are two (that I know of) in the Oosa – one is in Bloomington, Minnesota while the other is in Williamsburg, Virginia.  So, to help everyone tell which one is which, I have constructed this handy-dandy notebook reference tool:

Marscon MN: Situated in a region that knows its summer from its winter.

Marscon VA: Situated in a region that gets confused as to what day of the year it is, let alone what the weather is.

Marscon MN: Home state is known as the “Land of 10,000 Lakes”.

Marscon VA: Home state is known to consume large quantities of “Land O’Lakes” butter.

Marscon MN: Has had an impressive array of television actors since its inception, from shows like “Doctor Who”, “Star Trek”, and “Farscape”.

Marscon VA: Has a nice variety of guests, but they’ve been crazy enough to have us for the past few years.  I think we cancel each other out.

Marscon MN: Their web site has this pair of evil eyes watching you from the top of the page and this cool fadey thingey they have going on when you scroll up or down.  Best experienced with a bowl of Spaghettios.

Marscon VA: They keep their web site simple and elegant, with sparklies all over the place in the top page banner.  It goes better with a bowl of Beefaroni.

Marscon MN: Takes place in March, which is notable because that’s when my birthday is.

Marscon VA: Takes place in January, which is notable because that’s when my birthday is not.

Marscon MN: Offers “Progress Reports” on the site that allows potential visitors to see what’s in the planning stages.

Marscon VA: Doesn’t believe in the current grading system and allows its con-goers to progress at their own pace.

Marscon MN: Has Rob Balder as a guest.

Marscon VA: Has Rob Balder as a… guest…  Hey, waitaminute…

Marscon MN: Is held at a Holiday Inn.

Marscon VA: Is held at a Holiday Outt.

Marscon MN: Suffers from Dementia.

Marscon VA: Suffers from relaxation.

Marscon MN: Was founded in 1999, when everyone was partying like the Prince song.

Marscon VA: Was founded in 1990, three years before everyone was partying to a song.

So, as you can see, there are distinct differences (Curse you, Rob Balder, for messing up my stats!) between the two.  I’ve never actually been to the one in Minnesota, but I would love to check it out some day.  I’m sure that I’d be welcome with open arms.

Until they stumble upon this article.

The Don wants to make an evening of it on Mars.  He’s bringing his sandwich Linda.

Ah, fandom. It’s always fun to write on a touchy subject. No matter what I say about a topic as popular as Zelda, someone’s gonna get their jerkin in a twist. So I’ll just be upfront with my opinions (which are not at all the same thing as facts) and say this:

I think the only studio that could produce a good Zelda movie is The Jim Henson Company.

Peter Jackson who? Spielberg jiggawha?

OOOOOOoooooOOOOooohh, snap. Did I open a can of worms there? Let me present my essay which argues my point. I call it “Why Zelda Is Awesome and Why Jim Henson Is Awesome and Why They Should Work Together Like My Teacher Says We’re Supposed To.” I got an A+ and a gold star for it!

When I first wrote it. Just now. Look, I’ve gotta use all these star stickers for SOMETHING….

By sheer coincidence, the works of the late-and-great Jim Henson have been popping up almost daily in my life the past few weeks. It started with the release of Labyrinth on Blu-Ray, followed by the BluR release of The Dark Crystal, further followed by finding an uncut version of A Muppet Family Christmas online, and finally followed by discovering the original seasons of The Muppet Show on Netflix. I’ve been put back in touch with my childhood in ways I haven’t experienced in years, and I’m lovin’ (the heck out of) it! (Suck it, McD’s.)

However, it was The Dark Crystal–a beautiful, somber, mature, yet amusing movie–that really set my mental wheels in motion. Until this year, I’d never seen it all at once, or even all the way through. And, as I watched the elflike Gelflings, the divided sacred object that needed to be reunited, and the fantastic monsters that managed to be both intimidating and caricaturish at the same time, certain thoughts kept bouncing through my head: “I’m watching a Zelda movie. I’m watching THE Zelda movie. Miyamoto surely viewed this right before he pitched The Legend of Zelda to Nintendo.”

Now, I know I’m hardly the only one to point out similarities between these two beautiful works. And if you really wanna get technical, everything that happens in 1982’s The Dark Crystal and 1986’s The Legend of Zelda has already been done in many fantastic stories over the years. But these two entities, taken as two wholes and placed side by side, make two quite complementary packages. I just can’t imagine a Zelda movie being done better by anyone other than The Jim Henson Company.

Oh, sure, for years I’ve heard statements from giggling fangirls like, “Orlando Bloom needs to play Link in a Zelda movie because he was Legolas!” And…NO. Just, seriously, NO. Not only does Bloom look far too old to play a teenage Hylian (and I’d say he doesn’t look like Link at all, regardless of age), wearing elf ears and a blonde wig doesn’t make you the iconic Legendary Hero of Hyrule any more than a crown and scepter make you the Queen of England. We’re talking about a much-loved video game series that’s been around for over twenty years, and a hero that still makes us cheer and/or swoon in his various (re)incarnations. Link was my first idol when I was twelve in 1992, and at the tender age of thirty, I’m still no less enamoured of the Legendary Hero’s epic quests. And I’m just ONE diehard fan.

Yeah, to cast for live-action roles of characters like Link, Zelda, and even Ganon is a thankless task, almost certainly doomed to failure. Have you ever seen a fan-produced, live-action Zelda video? If yes, then you probably know the sense of disappointment that the cast didn’t fit your personal image of what the Zelda characters should look and sound like, and you probably felt that rush of relief that it was only a fan production and not an official film. I know I felt all that most recently in 2009, when that awful fan-movie The Hero of Time came out, featuring lousy acting and costumes that I’ve seen topped by first-year cosplayers. And yes, I had a huge sigh of relief when Nintendo put the smack down on the movie’s makers.

(I’d like to deviate here, and say I had no interest in ever watching it after seeing the bad, bad, BAD trailer. However, I wouldn’t have had a problem with the fan-film, and I would have even supported fans showing their love in such a way….Except, the makers stated it was “not for profit” and then proceeded to sell tickets to screening events, while planning to sell DVD’s and other merchandise. They said it was “to recoup expenses.” But the thing about “not for profit” is that you DON’T try to recoup expenses. You make a product with the resources you have, and then you make that product available without ever seeing a dime go to you, for ANY reason. And you’d better make doubly sure you’re doing that if you’re not even using your own intellectual property to start with. Yeah, with little legal breaches like that, I’m not surprised Nintendo shut them down.)

Thing is, I don’t see a live-action Zelda movie ever really working on a wide scale, largely for the above reason that people generally aren’t going to be satisfied with whoever is cast. At least with animation or puppetry/Muppetry, the characters still retain an abstract quality–you SEE them on the screen, yes, but the fine physical details of how they should look are still left to your imagination. It’s harder to let your imagination speak when Orlando Bloom’s or whoever’s every wrinkle and freckle is staring you in the face. Animated characters and puppets have the double advantage of being viewable, but not forcing one set visage into your mind–only the most detailed CG characters currently seem to run that risk. All in all, when live-action actors aren’t involved, you’re likely to be more lenient on the character designs (while mainly harping on about the voice actors, I’d imagine).

Another problem I have with a live-action film in relation to Zelda is that such a movie is highly likely to take itself too seriously. A LOT of fans have said that a Zelda movie should be done by Peter Jackson, using the same settings, special effects, and style of writing as was found in the Lord of the Rings movies. I agree that a Peter Jackson Zelda movie done like that would be very pretty, but it wouldn’t really feel like a Zelda movie. Think about it. The characters, enemies, and even locations and items in the Zelda games tend to have a cartoonish look that extends across every game from the original to Twilight Princess and beyond. When you play a Zelda game, you get the feeling that it’s never really taking itself entirely seriously (after all, Shigeru Miyamoto didn’t want his games to ever stop feeling fun). The Lord of the Rings movies, on the other hand, give the impression that they’re taking themselves VERY seriously, even when something funny happens. I totally understand why; it’s freakin’ Tolkien. If you don’t honour his works with the proper degree of respect and solemnity, the fans will have your head in chunks.

But making Zelda a “Hobbit Lite” movie just wouldn’t work. You need character designs and actions that don’t take anything too seriously. You need everything in the movie to be a kind of caricature of itself. You need to give the impression that, no matter how dark things become when Ganon conquers Hyrule or X-character meets a tragic end, the audience as a whole still feels a childlike wonder that takes us back to our first Zelda game. We need to feel we’re IN Hyrule, and the way to do that is by staying true to the vibrant visual nature of the fantasy land we’ve all come to know so well for the past two decades.

That’s where The Jim Henson Company steps in, with their imaginative designs, bright colours, boisterous acting, and puppets that move in ways which are truer to human nature than most humans are usually comfortable displaying. For example, you’ve seen dancing in Zelda games? Ever think how ridiculous some of those moves would look in live-action? But if performed by Muppets, those same moves would look natural and entertaining. Monsters roaring, animals skittering, Hylian heroes dodging fireballs–all those movements in the games, even the motion-captured ones, are done with a subtle exaggeration (oxymoron, much?) that would look strange or over-acted in live-action, but would seem perfectly normal with Muppets.

Time to put up or shut up, right? Well, okay, then, I’ll do both (mostly). I’ll let the following pictures speak their thousand words apiece. Look at some of the official art from the original The Legend of Zelda.

Now go look at some screenshots from The Dark Crystal over at Blu-Ray.com (then come back here for an interesting little video). If you didn’t know what you were seeing, and someone told you they were screengrabs from a Zelda movie, would you (Gelfling faces aside) really find it all that difficult to believe?

And if you want to see where Miyamoto seems to have gotten the idea for Peahats (pure speculation on my part, but Miyamoto loves to include things from his fandoms in his games), watch this segment from The Dark Crystal. Skip ahead to 1:37 to see what I mean.

Thus concludes my A+ gold-star essay. Now I have to go, so I’ll just see you all next time….Miss Trunchbull sez I got after-school detention. Again. Who knew it was against the rules to put cherry bombs in the toilets? No one ever tells me anything. :/

(Zelda AND Matilda? Yeah, no further need to prove I was an 80s kid, is there….)

Greetings, Na’vi!

By now, most of you have probably already seen James Cameron’s latest epic Avatar.  Krellion gave you his thoughts on the film this past December, but you may have noticed that I was noticeably quiet on the subject.

That was because until this past weekend, I had no interest in seeing the film.  Don’t get me wrong, I bore no ill will against the movie at all.  It looked amazing in the trailers and it appeared to be another megahit for the director of Aliens and Titanic.  I’m certainly an avid enthusiast of all the movies Cameron has put out so far.  But for some reason, this particular film didn’t grab me, slap me around, call me a tramp, and make we want to see it.  It just didn’t interest me.

Well, leave it to Krellion to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. (Hey!  I’m The Don.  That’s supposed to be my job.)  After twisting my arm (by offering to pay for my ticket), we went to one of the evening 3-D showings last Saturday.

I have to admit, I was quite impressed.  But then again, I knew I would be.  That was never a point of contention for me as far as the film was concerned.  The movie was just as head-splittingly stunning visually as I had expected.  What I didn’t expect was that the lackluster, formulaic story would actually pull me in and keep me entranced for two-and-a-half hours.

A lot of that has to do with how it’s presented.  I think Cameron knew that the storyline was one we’d seen a million times before (comparisons to Dances with Wolves and Fern Gully are accurate).  So, in order to compensate, Cameron completely draws you into the story, the world, and the characters.  You almost become a living, breathing part of the narrative.  This is definitely one of those cases where the 3-D effects aren’t used simply as a gimmick; they serve to help fully immerse you into this expansive world.

Of course, you can’t mention Avatar without mentioning the visuals.  I won’t say much on them, as this is the aspect that everyone from Ohio to the Mutara Nebula is already aware of – the sights on display are nothing short of spectacular.  Cameron definitely raised the bar as far as CG effects go, as well as how creative a special effects company can get with exotic, otherworldly locales.

But, while the eye candy is indeed impressive, it’s in the visual effects where my biggest problem with the film lies.

One of the main issues I had with the movie was that despite the brief interaction at the beginning of the film and big battle at the end, the Na’vi do not interact with the humans for most of the running time of the film.  And since I knew going into it that the Na’vi side of the story was almost entirely CG, my mind kept telling me that I was pretty much just watching a CG animated flick.  Without seeing live actors against the CG characters, it made it hard for me to see just how impressive and photorealistic the Na’vi really were.  Don’t get me wrong, all of the Na’vi stuff looked incredible, but without the contrast I couldn’t resolve in my mind that fact that I was just watching a CG movie.

What this created for me was a situation where it almost felt like I was watching two different movies – the CGI animated feature about the Na’vi, and the live action film about marines and scientists trying to exploit a planet’s resources.  It got to the point that every time the story would transition from one to the other I was briefly pulled out of the film, like having cold water splashed on me.  Granted, I was able to quickly get back into the story, but that jarring sensation continued to plague me until we got to the final battle and we finally got to see the “livers” take on the “animatees”.

But man… when the marines finally engaged the Na’vi armies head-on (apply directly to the forehead!), my mind was blown.  Ask Krellion – as soon as one of the Na’vi started to engage the humans in hand-to-hand combat, I actually whispered “Finally!”  This is what I had been waiting to see ever since Cameron first started bragging about how photo real the Na’vi were.  And it was glorious.  Just a shame I had to wait until the last act to really see it in action.

Despite my (minor) issue with the movie, I really did enjoy Avatar.  In fact, despite the formulaic plot, I still find myself thinking back to these characters as their story still seems to resonate with me.  I will definitely be picking it up when it comes out on Blu later this year.  In fact, I may be compelled to go see it in the theater again before it finishes its run.

I’ll even buy my own ticket this time.

The Don sees you.

It’s that time again! And seeing as all my previous notes for Spwug articles, webcomic reviews, and other whatnot are still inaccessible to me (and no, we can’t just transfer them to this computer right now, for reasons), you get a new batch this week…of filler!

Entirely by coincidence, I’ve seen more of Adam Baldwin in one weekend than I’ve seen over the past year, via Firefly and the season premiere of Chuck. I’ma gonna ramble about the first of those two shows—yes, I really did go this long without seeing Firefly and its movie, Serenity. This article is really an Opinion After the Fact and not much of a review at all, since there’s probably no need for me to go into character descriptions and plot for a show that you’ve likely already seen, or at least heard about, and you’ve probably already made up your mind on its merits.

What was my verdict, after watching the Joss Whedon work that was repeatedly urinated upon by FOX (c’mon, is anyone REALLY surprised that a network now hiring Sarah Palin screwed up?), resurrected by the fans, then killed again? Well, I had a blast watching it. I can see why it’s so loved. The character dialogue and interactions were brilliant for the most part. When you watch the show, you stick around because the scenes are so wonderfully written. Great jokes, deep insights, usually realistic reactions to dangerous situations…the characters really are people and not just characters, and that’s what make the show truly live. My better half and I did spend the series playing the “Hey! I saw that part in Cowboy Bebop/Outlaw Star” game, although of course it could be said that those two shows in turn lifted some of their own moments from previous works, and so on down the line. (The “game” is not a complaint, by the way. It was fun.)

At the same time, though, I can see why it got cancelled (twice). What didn’t I like?

There were times when people behaved slightly against their grain so as to not to move the plot along too quickly, which would occasionally bring things into cliché territory. This usually happened via Malcolm Reynolds not living up to the “shoot first” attitude that made him such an interesting character in the first episodes.* Naturally, the Bad Guy that Mal didn’t kill would then come back to haunt the ship’s crew, only to end up getting killed by Mal after all, roll credits. Not terribly original. Meanwhile, this being a Joss Whedon creation, you of course had the required “main character dies a stupid death for absolutely no good reason” in Serenity. (HARPOON!) Maybe it would have made more sense and had more impact if we’d had seasons and seasons of episodes and character development leading up to it, instead of a single random act?

* Some of the villains Mal “killed” were supposed to come back later in the series. But since the series HAD no “later”, this little point becomes moot.

In other issues I had, the worlds visited were all largely identical, being mostly either barren dustballs or barren ice worlds due to lack of budget—on the flip side, the inside of the ship Serenity was so detailed that it really was, as a DVD extra calls it, the tenth character. Then there’s River Tam, the very annoying know-it-all character whose mental imbalance shouldn’t be an excuse for her behaviour–and really, The Mysterious Girl Is Always the Key to Everything has already been done in nearly every sci-fi creation known to man. And of course, the “united government that rules everything on all worlds is evil and corrupt” recurring theme is another standard sci-fi cliché. It didn’t seem to fit in so well with the episodic unrelated criminal capers the main cast got up to regularly.

And I think that was the show’s Achilles heel. All the brilliant dialogue in the world can’t save you from a story that’s been done many times before and doesn’t give any indication of being done in a unique manner this time. I really believe that, if the show had lasted, it would have been a FUN ride and more than worth the price of admission. But at the end, it likely wouldn’t have been the space dramedy roller coaster to end all space dramedy roller coasters. The show deservedly has a lot of rabid fans. But I also think that intense love for many is bolstered by the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” sentiment as only the word “CANCELLED” can bring.

I still think anyone who likes a good sci-fi show should watch Firefly, because it was very good. Yeah, I just wrote a list of complaints up there, but for the most part, they’re pretty minor. Besides, that’s what I DO. I warn you what to expect. The show is awesome. But if you haven’t seen it, don’t go in expecting any surprises. Expect fun dialogue, fun Western-style shootouts, fun criminal capers, crossdressing, fancy guns, toy dinosaurs, and, if you’re just the shallow type, eye-candy in the form of naked Mal (according to many fangirls) or the lovely Companions (according to many fanboys)…just don’t call them whores. (The Companions, that is. Although I’m sure Mal would take some offense to the term himself, despite using it on his own Companion comrade/not-so-seekrit love interest regularly.)

Yep, if you’re like me and you never get around to watching something unless everyone you know is still raving about it years later, the Firefly series is an excellent one to add to your Netflix queue. But don’t take my (many) words for it. How about some YouTube examples of the previously-mentioned great spoken lines?

A Powerful Ugly Creature – posted by gouhibiki

“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” – posted by foxabulous

“What’d y’all order a dead guy for?” – posted by gouhibiki

Join us next time, when I’ll probably have yet another random article whilst waiting for the new computer’s parts to arrive!

Greetings, Noghri!!

I hope everyone had a great holiday and is having a wonderful New Year so far.  Let’s not forget that 2010 marks “The Year We Make Contact”.  Not sure what we’ll be contacting, but let’s hope it doesn’t involve turning Jupiter into a sun.

Now that the holidays are over it’s back to the old grind, which means I have returned to deliver my first “Office” of the new year!  Oddly enough, it’s a run-down of some of the cooler, geekier things I got for Christmas.

So as to avoid the funny stares, let’s just get started, shall we?

I actually made out pretty darn well this Christmas, but here are the highlights of my spoils that fit in more with the spirit of Spwug (make with the clicky to make biggy):

About a week before Christmas even arrived, I managed to order the latest re-offering from mattycollector.com – Skeletor.  Made from new molds and fully articulated, Mattel has been offering He-Man action figures based on the classic designs for over a year.  I wasn’t able to get these two when they were first offered in 2008, but I managed to snag them both over the past two months when they were re-offered.  The sculpts are incredible and each figure is based on a combination of the original cartoon design and the original figure design.  They’re a little pricey (about twenty bucks), so they’re only for the serious collector.  They usually offer one or two figures a month, but they sell out quickly.  This month they are offering a figure of a character that never saw plastic – Princess Adora.  You can bet I’ll be snatching up that one.

Another awesome offering from Mattel, these guys are based on the movie versions – not the cartoon counterparts.  I’ve been ordering them for the past couple of months.  The latest figure – Winston – came the same day as my Skeletor.  I almost have the entire team; only Venkman remains.  Bill Murray was the last of the original cast to sign off on his likeness, which is why his is the last of the four to be produced.  He should be available in February.  I can’t wait.  Now I just need to find my Real Ghostbusters figures and have a crazy crossover…

This game is so much fun to play, and I haven’t even started a new game on it yet.  Let me explain: when you first load up the game, it puts you in a practice area where you can just mess around.  For those not in the know, mess around means you can create almost any object by writing the word on the stylus screen based on a word database consisting of tens of thousands of words.  The object of the game is to create objects to solve puzzles.  I haven’t gotten to that part of the game yet, as I am too busy in the practice area creating God and then pitting Him against other people and creatures to see who would win.  So far, God wins every time… except against vampires.   They always manage to turn him.  Weird.  Still, I’m having so much fun with this game that I’m hoping to actually play it soon.

This.  For those of you that have read my Christmas articles, there is one particular memory that makes it Christmas for me over anything else – Mario.  Ever since I got that NES all those years ago, it seemed like every Christmas brought another adventure for the plumber boys to embark on.  No matter what console it was for, it just seemed like Super Mario Bros. and Christmas went hand in hand.  But for the past several years, things have been different.  Nintendo has been sparse with their Mario titles (sparse with any good titles, for that matter).  So, the past few holidays were surprisingly quiet on the coin block front.  Then this wonderful game revealed itself when I ripped off the wrapping.  Holy crap, it’s like I’m a kid again.  This game manages to hold up pretty darn well against what has come before.  With a mixture of SMB 3, World, and the most recent release for the DS, this game is extremely fun and challenging.  Add to it the ability to play up to four players simultaneously, and you have a game that will frustrate you as much as make you squee.

This came as a surprise to me.  I didn’t even know this book existed, and I’m a huge zombie fan.  Christmas carols with the lyrics altered to be about zombies.  It’s so campy, but at the same time it is beyond awesome.  Christmas 2010 – be ready, as I’ll be singing these all over the place.

Along with the Matty Collector figures above, this has to be the coolest geek collectible of 2009 – a Back to the Future Delorean that lights up and makes ten different sound effects from the movie.  I had ordered this through my comic shop, but my wife was nice enough to buy it out from under my nose so as to make it a prezzie for me.  This thing is sweet.  Almost everything that you can think of that should light up on the car in the movie lights up here – headlights, tail lights, dashboard, time circuits, flux capacitor, and – of course – the flux bands on the outside of the car.  This thing is incredible.  Sadly, there aren’t any action figures to go with it (at least not yet).  So, in order to make sure the car had a driver, I had to improvise:

That there would be Matt Tracker from M.A.S.K.  Not the original figure, mind you, but the limited edition figure that was made as part of the most recent (non-movie) G.I. Joe line.  I figured that since his last car had gull-wing doors he was worthy enough to take a spin through time.

Hopefully the rest of you out there had a holiday that visited just as much geekdom at you as I did.  Here’s to a new year and a fresh supply of Spwug for 2010.

I leave you with some disturbing developments that occurred in our LEGO Advent Calendar just after Christmas.  Let’s just say the negotiations apparently turned hostile:

Manny Bothans died to bring The Don this information.  Poor guy.

Happy New Year to all you Spwuggerifics out there!

I know all (none) of you out there who are(n’t) reading this are(n’t) saying, “What kind of way is this to kick off the new year? We were waiting for your article since last night!”

Well, kids, I only just rolled in home from a trip that I should have been back from Sunday night,* and I’m exhausted, hungry, and have a lot of laundry to do. But I owe you all a Spwug article, and a Spwug article you shall have.

*Never tell your family or car you have to be back home by a certain date. They’ll take it as a challenge.

Some people do the resolution thing for New Year’s. I don’t, figuring that if it’s so important you have to promise yourself you’ll do it, then it’s worth starting as soon as you think of it instead of waiting for a day on a calendar. So what I offer you here is more of a mission statement, or a preview of what you can see here in 2010. I think I’m finally getting the hang of this webcomic writin’ thang, so you can expect to see more streamlined (hah!) reviews. You can expect to see better utilization of graphics (and me spending a whole lot more time in Paint Shop Pro to make them better fit WordPress’ incredibly odd formatting).

Additionally, you’ll see a different kind of article showing up. So far I’ve only talked about the webcomics that I’ve been reading for a good while because I like them and know their content pretty well. Since starting my illustrious Spwug career, I’ve started going through the “to be read” links in my bookmarks. And, well, I’ve added some new comics to my regular reading list, but I’ve also run across a few comics that make me want those wasted hours of my life back. So, yes, friends, you can expect negative reviews to start showing up here. I’ve already got three ripe candidates in mind, two of which surprised me by actually being very popular comics on the Internet.

And that’s about it from me for now. I’ve got a hot sweet bun and a warm bed begging to be utilized. May your New Year be as stocked with full bellies and sweet dreams as mine is about to be!