Friends, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’d love to buy merchandise from my favourite webcomics, but I don’t want to pay shipping costs just to have to wait for my swag,” then have I got a solution for you! Have you ever considered…conventions?

….Okay, so the cost of a convention admission badge is considerably more than what you’d pay to ship a poster and a T-shirt to your home. Also, in order to attend a convention, you have to actually leave said home. But I’m here, fresh from Nekocon 2009, to show you the pros of allowing cons into your life! (So, how much are you hating me right now?)

With your keepsake convention membership badge, you’ll receive nigh-unlimited access to your favourite artists, courtesy of the Artists’ Alley! Hang around their tables breathing on them while you drop $20 on a T-shirt and calendar! Just imagine, you’ll finally be able to give that fifteen-minute presentation to the creators of The Draconia Chronicles about how their story’s world would be infinitely improved by a crossover with Harry Potter and a repeat appearance by Christopher Walken as a Twilight vampire. Don’t forget to bring your laptop with PowerPoint slideshow!

The best part about that picture is that I totally did not expect to find a Walken/Harry Potter pic when I Googled “Christopher Walken Sparkle.” Thanks, Totally Looks Like.com! Hopefully-humourous text is my addition.

But that’s not all–act now, and you’ll also receive PANELS. That’s right, long discussions and autograph sessions hosted by your beloved artists in which you discuss their works and ask them uncomfortable questions about their sex lives for one to two hours! You can’t get THAT experience from sitting at home reading webcomics!

No, guys, I will never stop channeling Billy Mays. Sorry.

But seriously, folks, if you want to show support for the artists you love and wish to know, you can do a lot worse than to come hang out at a fan convention. Nekocon is an anime-themed convention, but you can find artists of all types, at all types of cons. This weekend, I hobnobbed with and/or observed these rising stars of webcomics in their unnatural element:

–Danny Valentini and (Spwug’s own) Donnie Sturges of The Draconia Chronicles

–Jamie Sturges of Why So

–Chris Malone of Blue and Blond (Chris, if you’re reading this, I never did find out who the screamer in room 417 was to congratulate them.)

–Dave Lister of Paradox Lost

–Aja Moore of vantage/vantage (Currently on a semi-hiatus until the artist finds more reliable webhosting. She also has done other works as well–check out the rest of her DeviantArt page and website!)

Michael Terracciano of Dominic Deegan was sadly not at Nekocon this year, for which we all weep, but he’s yet another webcomic artist who does the con circuit. Speaking of the con circuit, thanks to these conventions, you’ll be able to meet the entire range, from “small business” comic artists to big-name ones whose works are published both online and in newspapers around the world.

C’mon…give conventions a try. Even if you leave traumatized by that Sailor Jupiter with the goatee and hairy legs, you’ll still have your webcomic swag and the beginnings of a bee-YOO-tee-fool friendship with the artists you love! (Sometimes a bit too much. Remember–if you have to ASK an artist to sign your underclothes, chances are, they don’t actually want to.)

The preceding article comes to you courtesy of the zombie plague, which the writer is still afflicted with. Spwug assumes no responsibility for opinions presented here, or undead uprisings that occur as a result of viewing this page.

Andrew Dobson, skilled artist and Nintendo fan of old, gives his take on Project Natal and the Sony Wand in “Danny and Spot” (I’m showing you two comics that were uploaded together, but it’s the second comic that’s relevant here.) Check out his amazing work at the link above!

Fall has, uh, fallen upon us here at the Casa de Marlink, according to the bright red tree outside our door. Halloween rushed in and blew out with the speed and force of six three-year-olds on a sugar high, leaving us with just the leftovers of candy for trick-or-treaters, decorations to be taken down*, and some form of minor plague that some generous soul donated to the big Halloween party.

*Decorations were left up into November to ensure we did not incur the wrath of Sam by taking them down too early.

While I soothe my aching head and raw throat with honeyed ginseng tea, let’s get down to brass tacks. Or thumbtacks. Who even uses brass tacks anymore?

You might notice this isn’t the monthly webcomic review I’ve normally been doing the first Tuesday of the month, although a comic on the Web still makes a feature here. I’m switching up the way things are done, but since how a writer works is only of interest to the writer, I’ll spare you the details and get to the topic at hand. Well, topics. I’m gonna get random and complain about a few things here. This post was inspired by the Dobson comics you see here and the gripes they reminded me of.

This isn’t NEW-news; we’ve all heard that the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 are keen on adding motion controls to their systems. The response from the gaming community so far has largely been a big yawning “Meh.” My, the enthusiasm of disapproval sure has fallen since Nintendo announced the Wii Remote a few years back! (Read the “2006″ panel of the above comic to see the reaction I got a few years ago, when I expressed delight at the proposed Nintendo motion controls that have since come to rule the world.)

But, even though I posted a comic here that’s mocking the Wiimote-mockers, I’m not going to tread…too much…into that old territory of how it’s “cool” to hate the big N because they always seem to come out on top (funny, I would think that would be a reason to LIKE them. We’re supposed to like winners who provide quality products for the consumer, right? Or maybe I’m the only one who still values substance over style. Wait. Said I wasn’t gonna go there. I also said I’d call you after last night. Get used to disappointment, kids.) No, my problem with the gamer-dubbed “copycat” motion technology announced by Sony and Microsoft isn’t relevant to the “copycat” part.

We don’t have a 360 in this house, due to there being nothing we wanted to play on it. We do have a PS3, which I pretty much only use as a DVD/Blu-Ray player. I spend basically all of my gaming time on the PC, the Wii, or my older Nintendo systems (and much of my PC gaming is playing Nintendo ROM’s when I’m not playing Oblivion). It’s not that I’m just obsessed with everything Nintendo does to the point that I won’t touch the competition. It’s that I’m obsessed with Nintendo BECAUSE they produce the games I actually like to play and replay, an area in which both Sony and Microsoft have been severely lacking for me. Let’s have another set of Dobson comics to illustrate:

Before anyone says anything, A Boy and His Blob falls under the “third-party” category, not the “new intellectual property” one.

Yeah, I’m not a big first-person shooter fan, nor am I diggin’ the dull “realistic” brown graphics that make backgrounds and items largely indistinguishable and have become the gaming norm. Don’t think I’m ignoring that Nintendo has been known to fall into this trap too (Twilight Princess, why you gotta hurt me so bad with your muted colours? Can’t we go back to the vibrant pallets of your NES and SNES glory days when I could tell one object from another? Even your N64 forays were more vivid!) And many of the PS3 FPS offerings are pretty much all the same thing, graphics-/gameplay-wise. Even the rare stand-out FPS games like Call of Duty: World at War and Battlefield: Bad Company tend to look alike…and play alike in a bad way, which I’ll get into and ties into the motion-control thing….

I can’t comment on the 360’s proposed motion controls beyond quoting a few gamer responses of “Way to do what Nintendo already did!” since I’ve never played a 360, but I’ve got a big problem with Sony’s take. Which is, how can PS3 developers be looking at new types of controls when the ones they’ve been working with for years are still so loose and unresponsive?

There aren’t that many PS3 games I’ve been excited for and actually played. There was Metal Gear Solid 4 (more brown futuristic FPS with a scruffy hero!), Eden, LittleBigPlanet, and the minigame LocoRoco Cocoreccho!, and that’s pretty much it. And I probably would have liked those games a whole lot more, had the controls actually freakin’ worked.

The battle against Vamp in MGS4, for example, took about five times as long as it should have because the CQC maneuver to put someone in a lock-hold only works when it wants to. And let’s not forget the other times during the game that Snake wouldn’t grab what he was supposed to or go where he was told. (Cranky old man.)

In Eden, the controls work like you’re playing underwater with slow response time, which leaves your little character missing easy grab-jumps and constantly falling to the beginning of the level while the timer ticks down. I can generally only play one level at a time, before getting so frustrated at the controls that I quit playing it for the next two months.

LittleBigPlanet…do I even need to get into the controls and hit detection that are so sloppy, even the game’s designers admit there’s something amiss–and then completely reneged on their promise to repair the broken controls by Christmas 2008? I have tried so hard to love this game with all my heart because it’s extremely unique and obviously a labour of love (see also: Stephen Fry narrating), but it’s another one that leads to migraines. I still recommend to friends that they play this game–but as a rental. I can’t justify buying it until you’ve seen if you can love it despite the crappy controls.

LocoRoco…another game that would be so creative and so much fun, if only the damn LocoRocos actually did what they were told, instead of bouncing in place and ogling the pretty butterfly that is clearly telling them to jump on each other and form a stack. Many friends have seen this game on the PS3 and wanted to try it, only to give up after ten minutes of yelling at the screen and shaking the controller.

Ever since the PS3 entered my home, I’ve had this theory that game developers aren’t making games harder–they’re making games harder to play. (Or perhaps making the games themselves “stupider” so that they don’t recognize what you, the player, are trying to do with that weird little alien “controller” thing your PS3 has heard so much about.) And there’s a big difference between the two. People like a challenge. People don’t like watching themselves fail even though they hit the right button at the right time. If developers can’t get regular old button-dominated controls to work as they should, how can they expect to re-revolutionize gaming with a new(ish, *ahem* Nintendo) type of control? Do me a favour, Sony. Get the old right before you move on to the new. Make me love you, as Nintendo made me love them over two decades ago, and continues to make me love them, by getting it right the first time. And Microsoft? At least try to catch my interest next time, okay?

I now end this largely nonsensical ventilation to pop pills for the headache and more tea for the throatache. Catch you on the flip–or catch you at Nekocon this weekend for those who are going, provided I’m not dying of the zombie plague by then!

…congratulations to Richard and Katy, the supreme rulers of the Spwugniverse!!!!!

They are the essence of everything that is Spwug.  Without either of them, this site wouldn’t be here to bring you a daily dose of all things geek.

It was an honor and a privilege to witness the joining of these two forces of good.  They are my friends.  They are my family.  I am proud to be the head writer of something they envisioned, and I am proud to be a part of their lives.

My best wishes to both of you, Pocky Rich and Katy.  Here’s to bigger and greater things.  With your powers combined, anything is possible.

Greetings, Bugaloos!

Has there ever been a good Batman game?  Sure, there are one or two games that have come close.  Some folks really liked one of the various entries that came out for the early Nintendo or Sega consoles.  Others are huge fans of the arcade game that came out years ago based on the first Tim Burton film.  I, personally, really enjoyed Batman: Vengeance when it came out back in 2001 for the PS2.

But, much like what is going on currently in the comic books (SPOILER ALERT: Dick Grayson is the current Batman!), there’s a new Bat in Gotham…

…and this one is kicking ass and taking initials (it doesn’t have time to write down full names).

Batman: Arkham Asylum is to Bats what Spider-Man 2 was to ol’ Webhead himself – a game that makes you feel like you’re really playing as the character.  I mean, all of the tricks of the Bat-trade are here – gadgets that help you accomplish different tasks, Batman’s signature fighting moves.  There’s even a viewing mode you can switch to called “Detective Mode” that allows you to look for clues.  This is most likely the first time any video game has been able to effectively capture the detective side of our caped crusader.

Every little detail of this game is practically perfect.  Paul Dini, of “Batman: The Animated Series” fame, wrote the storyline for the game.  Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, and Arleen Sorkin return to voice Batman, Joker, and Harley Quinn, respectively.  The music, while not lifted from the show, is a perfect match for the atmosphere of the game.

The game begins with Batman showing up on the front doorstep of Arkham Asylum with a “gift” – the Joker, who had recently escaped (again).  The Dark Knight follows the guards as they escort his arch nemesis to his cell.  Unfortunately, it appears that the Joker allowed himself to get captured on purpose!  Having concocted an elaborate plan that sets himself free and puts him in charge of Arkham, the Joker locks everyone inside and sets all the inmates free!

What follows is a very Metroid-style adventure, pitting Bats against many angry thugs with a grudge, as well as some of his greatest villains.  All the while, Batman has to look for clues and secret passages in order to rescue the guards and circumvent different security measures that the Joker has put into place to stop our pointy-eared crimefighter.  Add to that an extra set of clues laid by the nefarious Riddler for Batman to solve, and you have a game that is extremely well-crafted and fun.

I had an absolute blast with this game.  In an unusual turn of events, I was actually able to finish story mode before I picked up Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 this week.  That’s not to say that the game is over.  There are several challenge maps to play through.  If you are a PS3 owner, this includes an exclusive challenge level where you take on “skeletons” while under the influence of Scarecrow’s fear gas.  The other sweet exclusive is the ability to play the challenge levels as the Joker.  The rest are just separate challenge stages where you have to either face of against several waves of thugs, or stealth levels where the object is to take everyone out one by one without getting caught.

Oh yeah – did I forget to mention that there is some element of Metal Gear Solid to the game as well?

That there’s what we call an “inverted takedown”, and it’s one of the many upgrades you can purchase as you play the game.

If there was one complaint I had with the game, it wouldn’t be with the game itself, but with the coding.  It appears that certain PS3 systems have a tendency to freeze up during game play.  I’ve done some research and found that this is a common occurrence, but it only seems to happen with the older systems.  The freezing got so frequent on mine that I eventually couldn’t even play it, as it froze up the minute I started to play.  Every time.  I ended up having to do a system restore to my PS3.  That didn’t eradicate the problem completely, but it did reduce it back to just once every one or two game hours of play.

Despite that frustration, I thoroughly enjoyed Arkham Asylum and have every intention of going back to it at some point, especially since there will be DLC coming with more challenge maps.

But first, I need to switch over to the Marvel Universe for a bit and get my Ultimate Alliance (2) on.

The Don is the terror that craps in the night.

Greetings, Holograms!

I’m feeling a little muddled lately, due to my workload at, well… work, my various writing projects, and getting everything geared up for 2wcOnline’s appearance at this year’s Nekocon as guests (seriously -  they’ve stepped up their professional game with contracts and everything!).

So, today’s installment is going to match my current brain contents – cluttered and random.  My apologies, but I’m hoping that this actually benefits you as you all get to have a rather nice laugh at my expense.

First, I’m sure you are all aware that Disney is buying Marvel comics.  I won’t go into details too much, as I’m sure the three of you that read this column you’ve all read about it ad nauseum from the various sites and news outlets that make a regular play at this sort of thing.  What I want to address is some of the fallout that has occurred from fans and general appreciators of Marvel Comics.

A lot of you have automatically jumped to the conclusion that this is a bad idea, it sucks, or that it means the unavoidable amalgam of the two heads of entertainment.  I can assure you that this is not so.  This deal is actually quite lucrative for everyone involved, including us.  What the deal boils down to is this: Disney will increase their sales, as well as be able to distribute content that targets a demographic that they’ve been sorely neglecting while they focus on the tweenies and girlies – boys.  The plus side for Marvel is that not only will this increase their sales, but now they have a guaranteed distributor for any project they want to get off the ground.  It’s very similar to the arrangement DC has under Time/Warner’s ownership.

Except that Disney has promised that they will not assert complete control over Marvel like Time/Warner has done with DC.  Notice that creative control has made it so that Marvel has been steadily successful with their films, while the micromanaging position T/W has assumed over DC has ensured that the only hit they’ve had so far has been that guy with the pointy ears and cape.

And if none of this convinces the nay sayers and the doubters that things will be fine, let me add the cherry on top: remember the sweet deal Disney made with John Lasseter to get Pixar back?  It also brought back the 2D animation studios, and it made the Pixar/Disney relationship even better.  Good things like this will most likely be mirrored in the Disney/Marvel deal.  Plus… think about it… John Lasseter and Pixar doing animated Marvel films.

Let me say that again: Pixar doing animated Marvel films.  Possibly in 3D.

What I can promise you won’t get is this.

So, everyone just relax.  Everything will be fine.

Next up on my agenda – remember the trailer for the Plan 9 remake I was in about a month ago?  The official website has gone live with the countdown to said trailer.  September ninth, everyone.  Come check it out, if only to see me get eaten by a zombie.

And speaking of that shoot – while I was in West Virginia filming the Plan 9 trailer, I was playing the role of customer in a 7/11 up there when I stumbled across the most incredible candy bar spin-off that I have ever eaten.  It’s a limited edition offshoot of Whatchamacallit called Thingamajig.

And it.  Is.  Delicious.  Instead of peanut-flavored crisp and a layer of caramel covered in chocolate, this confection has chocolate crisp and a layer of peanut butter wrapped in chocolate.

I have no idea why I italicized that last word.

Nevermind!  This candy bar is awesome.  I enjoyed it so much that as soon as I got back home I immediately started looking for it in several of our local convenience stores and pharmacies.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I still have yet to find this chocolate/peanut butter ambrosia.  I have no idea why I can’t find it around here, and it’s quite disappointing.  Hershey doesn’t even have it listed on their site.  The only way I’ve been able to find any info on it is through other peoples’ blogs and articles on it.  And none of them seem to have any info on where they found it, either.  So, my search continues…

I leave you with my last scatterbrained thought of this installment.  PBS has pulled the plug on “Reading Rainbow” for good, with last Friday being the last episode it would air.  I, like many of you, grew up with that show.  That was the show that introduced me to LeVar Burton before I even knew what “Roots” was, or before he got to be chief engineer on a starship.  It’s a sad day when the reasoning behind such a move is “to focus more on teaching children how to read (grammar and phonics) instead of teaching them to WANT to read.”  Don’t the two serve each other?  That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

Of course, you don’t have to take my word for it.

Butterfly in the sky, The Don can go twice… as many times depending on how much he’s had to drink.

Welcome back! Are you ready for your weekly punishment? I’ve got so many wonderful things lined up! Like a punch in the face. A kick in the teeth. The ear-biting-off to end all ear-biting-off-ings. Later, I’ll glare at a puppy. The inHUMANITY.

Actually, none of that’s true. (This week.) But if you thought I was being a bit hostile,** then you’ve just seen me pull the lamest segue ever, once I jump into the tribute review for the recently-ended webcomic Friendly Hostility.

**You really just thought, “Wow, that’s unnecessarily mean,” didn’t you?

Formerly a thrice-weekly strip, Friendly Hostility began on January 8, 2004 and ended on July 25, 2009. It was the brainchild of the wonderfully demented and prolific K. Sandra Fuhr (whose new webcomic gets a mini-writeup at the end of this tribute). Fuhr’s blurb on the front page of the website relates a good sum-up of the overarching plot: “Friendly Hostility is the story of two best friends who happen to be dating each other: Fox, a reporter, and Collin, a megalomaniacal would-be dictator and former kid’s show host.” Oh, but of course there’s so much more than that….

A veritable melting pot of cultures (and species), the cast of Friendly Hostility is almost as varied as the types of plots that came into play during the comic’s five and a half years of service. Just to give you a taste of what could be expected in any given installment, let’s blab a bit on some of the characters, which conveniently doubles as summaries for numerous plots:

Collin Sri’vastra (smirking at right in the above picture) – Intense, mostly-serious, rather antisocial, and a self-professed asexual (in one storyline, though, he has to face up to actually admitting he’s gay to his family, due to the whole, you know, “relationship with Fox” thing). He looks like “such a nice young man,” as the old lady next door would say, but if you drive-by tap his car’s bumper in the parking lot, you’re likely to find the charred remains of your vehicle smoldering on your doorstep the next morning. Incongruously, Collin works for much of the strip as Safari Sam, a children’s show host. Collin’s not-so-secret ambition in life is to overthrow a South American country, preferably Venezuela, and become dictator by age 30. At one point, he decides it’s time to act out his dream and travels to Venezuela, with rather less-than-successful results.

Kailen “Fox” Maharassa – Don’t let that serious expression trick you. Fox is a happy dork who’s mostly content to let life drift by, work the odd reporting gig, and support his boyfriend’s Venezuelan domination schemes (he affectionately calls Collin “Boss”), although he steps up if a big problem needs solving. Near the end of the comic, he convinces Collin to accept that their relationship has gotten a bit rocky, in order to enroll the pair in counseling. Fox doesn’t care if you’re straight, gay, a demon, Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos, or a weekend Satanist–as long as you’re a mostly-good person, you’re more than welcome to hang out and drink with him. Just don’t call him Kailen.

The Demon – The 2,783rd child of Lilith, the Demon’s real name can’t be addressed here, as it causes dripping nosebleeds to any mortal who encounters it. Sorry! Despite his demonic background, he’s actually a decent sort of guy. He drinks with Fox and Collin, tries to meet women, and even takes a job as a nurse. He’s more of a moral voice for the comic than most of the non-demonic characters. Even when he recommends interior decorating with dead babies. (I would argue, “ESPECIALLY when he recommends interior decorating with dead babies,” but my lawyers tell me I shouldn’t reveal incriminating evidence about my hobbies.)

Anne “Bootsie” Khoeler – Collin’s “slave,” won in a poker game against her brother (the prize was actually the guy’s kidney, but he didn’t wanna pay up). Renamed “Bootsie” after a cat of Collin’s, Anne is more of a little sister/housekeeper to Fox and Collin. When her “slaving” contract expires, she wants to stick around to take care of the pair, on the condition that Collin gives her a village in the South American country he finally conquers. She grows up from nervous little girl to a bold young woman over the course of Friendly Hostility, tries unsuccessfully to date the Demon, and eventually moves away to college.

Fatima “The Evil Ice Princess from Hell” Maharassa (addressing the “fine art” of stalking above) – Fox’s older sister. It’s not so much that Fatima’s evil. It’s just that she does things her way, only her way, and she has her own unique moral code, which she rigidly adheres to. She sees The World According to Fatima, and scoffs at anyone else’s ideas that things could be done differently. She rejects notions of femininity and beauty, can and likely will kill you with her bare hands, and is easily mistaken for a long-haired, hairy-pitted man (in stark contrast to the soft and cute baby she was at the beginning of the comic). Fatima resents her mother’s embracing of feminine beauty and life as a housewife, and their relationship is strained at best, even after Fatima leaves her family by moving to Alaska. She was also briefly stalked by a woman named Amanda, who eventually ended up launching (unintentionally) into outer space as a result of being impregnated with Fatima’s “volatile Maharassa DNA.” (Did I mention Fatima’s and Fox’s dad is a mad scientist? No? Well.) In one of the more surprising plot developments, Fatima marries a man who saved her from freezing after she lost a fight with an avalanche (while trying to pick a fight with a bear) in Alaska. This becomes a little less surprising when she states she did so because she wants the man’s beautiful house and cat. Fatima’s relationship with her family is accurately summed up and depicted in this strip–they love her, but they also know that she won’t hesitate to sell them all out if it furthers her goals.

….And that’s just for starters. The cast gets even crazier, with characters like Padma and Nefertari “Bunny” Maharassa, the parents of Fox and Fatima. Bunny is a dancer-turned-homemaker, while Padma is the afore-mentioned mad scientist who has NASA on speed-dial. There’s “Uncle Rafi” Ibrafim (also seen in the above linked comic), a family friend who works as a Satanic priest on weekends, where they host a heckuva bake sale. And there’s Kitty, who begins as a fake girlfriend for another character, then becomes a real girlfriend of sorts, then has to share her fake-real boyfriend with another man (makes perfect sense, right?) And it just gets wilder from there.

The art is in a style that’s uniquely Fuhr’s. She’s not afraid to draw characters with realistic body types, which gives them personality, as well as balance to the amusingly unrealistic situations they often end up in. Friendly Hostility actually begins as a side story that takes place years earlier, when Fatima is still a baby. This means that the characters have to age over the course of the comic, and they do so believably–for example, look at this strip, featuring Padma, Bunny, Rafi, and baby Fatima. Compare it to this one, featuring the same characters a few decades later.

The storylines are sometimes just for laughs, but more often show how the various character relationships develop, fall apart, reconcile, and evolve. Also, sometimes ducks explode. It’s not a comic where you can just jump in at the beginning of any given storyline and instantly know what’s going on. That’s the closest thing to a warning I’ve really got here (and it’s stated to tickle your fancy rather than to tell you “watch out so this doesn’t trip you up”). Years of development have gone into the interactions amongst much of the cast. Fuhr includes more than enough variety in this comic that it never gets old or trite. Even the punchlines that have been done many times before in the world of humour manage to fit in here.

Friendly Hostility is actually connected to numerous earlier webcomic works by Fuhr, with characters from this comic appearing in earlier webcomics. Moreover, characters from Friendly Hostility will be appearing in Fuhr’s newest comic, Other People’s Business. But as Friendly Hostility is the first comic of Fuhr’s I read, this is where I’m placing your jumping-off point.

Now for a little blurb about Fuhr’s newest project, Other People’s Business. It only started up once Friendly Hostility was ending its run, so there’s not a lot to tell–perfect for a follow-up recommendation to a big webcomic review, eh?

Other People’s Business is the story of Daniela “Danny” Alvarez, a girl who’s pretty much given up on getting anywhere in life and prefers to drink herself into oblivion. This lofty goal gets shattered when a thief named Hilary literally comes crashing into her life (via the window), and the two end up on the run from a “fake cop,” who appears to have, at the very least, a secret mechanical arm (okay, so it’s tattoos…for now). And that’s about all I can tell you! At only seventeen pages in, catching up on this comic’s archives shouldn’t take you more than a few minutes. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see more about this strip here later….

But for now, you won’t be seeing anything else, because I am outski!

Sometimes you’ve just gotta tackle the deepest questions of the Universe.

This isn’t one of those times.

So, now that you’re surely caught up on the archives of the previous two webcomics reviewed here, it’s time to bustle along. My bustle, please! (NOTE: No one actually wants to see me wearing a bustle.)

This time, we have Questionable Content, a Monday-through-Friday comic by Jeph Jacques (rhymes with “Dax”…you know, as in Jadzia? We’re all geeks here, right?) The title alone should give you some hints that the subject of this week’s review is probably not something you want to bring up to your boss, your kids, or your place of worship. Unless all of the preceding are really freakin’ cool.

This hilarious little ditty is a slice-of-life webcomic that details the normal day-to-day goings-on of its cast. Amongst its characters are the son of a famous dominatrix, an obsessive-compulsive object-counter who makes the title character of USA’s Monk look like a well-adjusted individual, and a sentient computer whose favourite hobby is downloading, well, “questionable content” onto his hard drive. The comic also features such perfectly normal events as random bouts of formal dress and introduces many of us to the should-be-an-Olympic sport of Speed Beer. (I don’t drink it, but I’d watch it!)

Yep. Totally normal day-to-day goings-on.

The art’s instantly recognizable; once you’re familiar with Jacques’s style, you’ll recognize it wherever you see it. I love how Jacques isn’t afraid to draw characters with more normal body types as well, rather than the idealized impossible bodies and faces we see far too much of in popular media. If a character has a physical flaw in Questionable Content, you’ll usually see it. And this comic is the perfect example of one of my favourite things about many independent artists–watching how their work evolves over time, rather than being a refined product from the start that never changes. Look at how Questionable Content’s style has changed since the comic’s launch in 2003:

First strip!
Strip #200!
Strip #300!
Strip #450!
Strip #800!
How the strip looks today! (Okay, so that’s just another link to the main page. Still.)

And if any panel in any strip has ever completely cracked you up, there’s a good chance that Jacques has made a T-shirt out of it for you to buy at the comic’s store. Questionable Content is one of those ideal rarities in the webcomicking world; Jacques actually makes his living from the comic and the merchandise produced from it. Of course, this just encourages him to keep improving and keep making the comic better and better so we’ll always come back to read again. You don’t hear me complainin’!

One of the possible side effects of making a living off your art is that you may develop a nasty little thing called a “work ethic.” In this comic, you won’t find long hiatuses, frequent “oops, forgot to do an update” messages, or long delays when it was promised the next strip would go up a week ago. If Jacques can’t make a regular update for some reason, you’re treated to funny filler in the form of Yelling Bird. Who, as you might imagine, is a clip-art bird. Who yells. Generally obscenities about how much Jacques sucks, but no topic is sacred, and all topics have me laughing out loud.

Now, it’s traditional for a webcomic to have a gimmick. Most artists opt for either cute talking animals or cute talking machines that are beyond the bounds of current real-world technology. Jacques pounced on the latter, which gives us the AnthroPC’s–sentient, talking, walking computers. These guys’re a constant source of comic relief, as well as a jab at the stereotyped personalities of people who have excessive loyalty to a specific operating system. (The jab at Linux loyalists, as presented by the paranoid, bad-tempered, high-horsed Linux AnthroPC, gives you an idea why I no longer allow Linux distros in my home computers.) There was also a “pet” Roomba at one point that mostly existed in the background and didn’t speak, but it hasn’t put in an appearance for a while.

Of course, I’ve gotta give the human characters their due as well, seein’ as they’re the main driving force of the comic. This is where the story isn’t all fun and games. Or rather, it’s always fun to read, but occasionally serious storylines come up, at which point “games” isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe things. Time passes in the comic, the human characters mature, fall in love, fall out of love, change jobs, lose jobs, worry about where their lives are going, get amusingly tipsy at the local bar, share dark secrets from the past, start bands, get confronted by wandering bears in the middle of town, become secret James Bond-like super-agents, and congregate in a coffee shop where many of the characters work and abuse the customers (make sure you always read the “Today’s Specials” on the chalkboard in the background). The ongoing story is really far much more in-depth than I give credit for here, but telling you the details would be giving away spoilers that would be much more fun for you to read for yourself. Suffice it to say that Jacques’s writing is extremely tight, and most serious information is also important to the ongoing slice-of-life plot.

Any downsides? I honestly can’t complain much. Jacques really knows what he’s doing. In the beginning era, he made a lot of indie-rock references and jokes that appealed to a niche audience, but has since moved on to much broader humour. The only thing in the comic I don’t care for is the character Faye Whitaker, and I freely admit that I seem to be in the minority there, to read the “Your favourite character” threads in the Questionable Content forums.

See, Faye’s tragic secret past is one of the main points of the ongoing story, but the character herself just kinda makes me want to throw half-frozen water balloons at her. She starts out angsty and angry, moves on to wishy-washy and angry, and now she’s confused, mopey, and angry (there is a good reason for part of this, but it would be a spoiler to tell you!) In the early days of the comic, Faye also had the annoying tendency to punch people who’d already proved they were just trying to help her, such as Marten Reed, who was pretty darn self-sacrificing in order to accommodate Faye’s numerous “issues.” Another irking character quirk was her speech pattern near the beginning. She’s originally from Georgia and decided to mask her Southern accent upon moving north to the comic’s location. To hide her accent? She wouldn’t use contractions. I honestly don’t get how that makes any sense. (I spent twenty-five years in the Deep South. My ears tell me it takes a lot more than axing apostrophes to remove an accent, any accent.) Faye’s speech was jarring and distracting during this phase; it read like a robot along the lines of Lieutenant Commander Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Luckily, Faye’s loosened up and welcomed apostrophes back into her life as the comic moves on; now she just needs to “get over herself” and stop acting like an emo teen.

If that piddling little bit is my entire complaint section, I’d say we’re doing really well here! Questionable Content is such a versatile comic, it’ll probably amuse you unless your tastes are really extreme or absurd. And even then…let’s just say that Jacques doesn’t hold back when he wants to make a joke, no matter how out there it is. (Oh, dear lord, why did I have to link THAT ONE.)

Time to go upstairs for my nightly brain-scrubbing, so I’ll see you all next time!

Greetings, Octoroks!

I’ve found myself getting immersed in pop culture nostalgia quite a bit lately.  It’s not difficult nowadays – this year alone is seeing the 20^th or 25^th anniversary of something major that we all enjoyed years ago – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, Transformers.  And with movies, video games, toys, and Blu-Ray releases of those properties coming out one right after the other, it’s almost impossible to avoid anything from our childhoods right now.

So, imagine my excitement when I was able to find my favorite Collectible Card Game of all time in my garage.  Nope, I’m not referring to Magic: The Gathering.  It can go tap its mana somewhere else.  No – my favorite CCG also happens to be (in my humble opinion) the best super hero CCG that has been produced so far – Overpower!

I started collecting this game when I picked up my first starter deck back in August of 1995 (when it was first released).  I’ve never been a big fan of any kind of card game, but this one had me pulled in just from the initial concept – players battle each other with their own teams comprised of characters from Marvel Comics!  Each player has a team of four characters, which can be made up of heroes, villains, or a mixture of the two.  Each character has a set of stats listed on their character card divided into three categories – Fighting, Strength, and Energy (DC would eventually get in on the Overpower goodness and add a fourth stat: Intellect).  The players use these stats on each character to play power cards with the appropriate categories to attack or defend.  On top of that, each character also has his or her own special attack or defense cards that add a unique touch to each character.  Eventually, other types of cards would be added to expand and change gameplay.

What I loved about this game was how simple it was to pick up and play.  When I picked up my first starter deck I was able to play the game in minutes.  And once I had that down I managed to get several friends and family members hooked on the game also.  It became quite inane.  It seemed like almost everyone I knew was collecting Overpower cards.  We would play for hours.

I continued to find folks willing to play a game or two when I left home and joined the Air Force.  I kept my “team” with me (when I could) wherever I went.  It seemed like that no matter where I found myself, someone had a personalized deck on their person and was willing to throw down.

Unfortunately, Overpower must have listened to the advice of the Kurgan, as the CCG burned out rather quickly over the course of a few years.  The game gained popularity once DC was added to the fold, but the fact that the Marvel side had to reprint all of their pre-DC character cards with an added Intellect icon in order to remain compatible just added one more nail in what would be a quickly-built coffin.  Overpower started losing steam quickly.  By the time Image Comics got in on the action, Overpower was pretty much dead.

Since the demise of Overpower, both Marvel and DC have gotten back into the CCG market.  In fact, both companies went the joint route once more with the VS. CCG system that came out in 2004.  But even that latest attempt has paled in comparison to that first foray into combat card gaming.  I tried playing it a couple of times myself.  But not only are the mechanics different, the VS. CCG just doesn’t have the same heart or spirit of Overpower.  It’s just not the same.

Now that I’ve managed to find my entire collection, I have this growing desire to start playing again.  I really want to start getting people together like I used to and playing for hours.  This game is just that much fun.

Unfortunately, I doubt every other person out there has a deck on them anymore.

The Don is still missing his Intellect stat.

Welcome back to the horror house, kiddies! Last time, I sang the praises of Chris Hazelton’s webcomic Misfile. This time, I’ll yak a bit about problems I have with the comic. I’d post a bunch of disclaimers about how It’s All My Opinion and Your Mileage May Vary, but I know you smart guys out there already know it. We’re all (pretending to be) adults here, right?

If you missed last week’s article, I highly recommend you read it. What’s the point in promoting a loved comic if people only read the criticisms about it, after all? Let’s have some good vibes out there too! And a kitten. Can I have a kitten?

So, here we go. DKM’s issues with Misfile.

This first one is actually a non-issue for me, but I realize that you typically have to talk about art when it comes to comics, and art is what can make or break a potential reader’s desire to follow your work. In Misfile’s case, the art is done in a skilled, unique manga style that’s immediately recognizable as belonging to Chris Hazelton, but it didn’t begin that way. In its early days, Misfile’s art was still a recognizable style, but it was also sketchy and inconsistent as the artist got his bearings. There was also a tendency to overuse manga clichés, such as eye-pulling raspberries, random super-deforming, and “chibiness” that didn’t really seem to fit into the story at hand (note I’m not hatin’ on manga, being a huge animanga geek myself). I’m glad to say that Hazelton has made the comic’s art style truly his own since then, but new readers may be put off by the early pages. Just keep reading; the art really does get better, and you should be focusing on the story more anyways!

Something that bothers me rather a bit more than art inconsistencies is the comic’s characterization. Now, don’t get me wrong, guys–Hazelton, an adult male, does a terrific job overall at writing female high school characters. I’ve never seen another male artist do it better, at least not in my personal experience. But there are some places where he falls into personality traps and stereotypes. The biggest trap concerns Ash, who isn’t incredibly likeable as main characters go–she’s perpetually grumpy and griping about her gender-switched situation, and if she smiles more than twice in a month, I don’t recall having ever seen it. I occasionally want to smack her around and yell, “YOU’RE A GIRL NOW. ANGSTING ABOUT IT WON’T FIX THAT. STOP BEING A JERK TO THE ONE ANGEL* WHO CAN HELP YOU, AND DEAL WITH IT, OKAY?!”

*(Heck, stop being a jerk to everybody while you’re at it, please, Ash?)

On top of that, Ash is also a real know-it-all character. Yes, I get that if you’ve been more than one sex/gender, you’re going to have some perspective that people who’ve never been in your situation don’t have. But it gets old that whenever Emily or another girl has some sort of personal crisis, they just sit around complaining like a bunch of catty female stereotypes, but never seem to have the desire or the ability to figure out how to fix their problems. Ash is always the thinker, the one saying, “Well, just do this. Problem solved. Girls always do X-thing, and X-thing is the hard way. Guys do things much more simply.” And how do you know suddenly so much about girls, Ash? You haven’t been one that long, you still retain a male mind, and the comic makes it pretty darn clear your boy years were spent working on your car rather than the ladies.

And when it comes to gender stereotyping, a big no-no occurs with Emily. Ash complains that the guys at the auto parts shop always treated her rudely and cheated her as a guy. What does Emily, supposedly strong female character with firm morals, suggest? She tells Ash to flirt with them. Show a little boob jiggle-age. Feign a little interest in order to get great service and a great price. I have NO clue what Hazelton was thinking with this; Emily is portrayed as being level-headed, intelligent–not one to willfully use her body to get what she wants, and definitely not one to recommend doing so to others. And this is passed off in the comic as being something females in general think of as an acceptable practice. I don’t know about you all out there in Intertube-land, but the only women I know of who find this sort of thing kosher are pretty loose with their bodies all around, ifyaknowwhutImeanVern.

But the plot point that bothered me first, and still heavily irritates me, is one plot cliché that is so pointless, I don’t know why Hazelton brought it out in the first place, and why he doesn’t just write it out already. In order to stay near Ash and perform his good deeds to get back into Heaven, the angel Rumisiel tells everyone he’s Ash’s boyfriend from Canada. This is accepted despite the fact that Ash makes it painfully obvious, and everyone can see, that she flat-out despises Rumisiel. Oh, no. Did we REALLY need to pull out the fake-relationship cliché? I mean, really? It would be one thing if this actually had an impact on the comic’s story. But it…doesn’t. There are a dozen other ways I can think of that would have kept Rumisiel within shouting distance of Ash that don’t stoop to plot clichés. And the whole “relationship” barely ever even gets mentioned. Hazelton’s never done a thing with this overused plot device, except for an also-overdone joke where a Series Of Miscommunications makes Ash’s dad think that Ash and Rumisiel have slept together.

Since I’ve been hitting you kinda hard with my major gripes, I’ll end on a minor one because I really do love this comic. The artist has been going through some insanely tough times lately. He’s been hit with more family and personal tragedies than one person has any right to experience in a single year, and he’s been busy as heck trying to keep up with everything in his life. But that doesn’t excuse the typos that are becoming more common in the comic. Listen, guys: if you don’t have time to do the proofreading yourself, get someone who does. It’s awesome that Hazelton never misses his scheduled updates, but it’s better to release no product than to release a faulty one. (I’m also looking at you here Re: typos, Sluggy Freelance and “VG Cats.”)

I know it looks like I’m tearing Misfile a new one in this post, but this comic has such a brilliant story, impressive art, and terrific humour, I’d hate for anyone to miss out on it. I only post my complaints out of fairness. Nothing’s perfect, not even webcomics drawn and published by mostly-unpaid people in their exceedingly scarce spare time!

And thus concludes this webcomic review. Next time….I hope I’ll have that kitten.

See you, space comickers….

I know why you’re here, and you know why I….Well, you’re probably actually looking at me and saying, “What are you doing here, again?” So let’s get to it, eh? Be warned, this is a long one….But debuts are the perfect time to pull out the stops!

This week’s webcomic review is Chris Hazelton’s Misfile, active since March 2004. This comic updates Monday through Friday, and in the several years I’ve been reading, I haven’t seen the artist miss an update yet. That already puts him ahead of much of the webcomickin’ pack!

The story in Misfile is definitely an attention-grabber: A teenage boy named Ash wakes up one morning missing something very near and very dear to him…but he’s gained a lovely girlish figure in return! Then there’s Emily, a senior in high school who’s just been accepted to her dream university, Harvard. Well, until she wakes up on this fateful day, only to suddenly find herself a sophomore in high school, with Harvard a distant dream.

The reason for all this oddness is Rumisiel, a pot-smoking failure of a file clerk in Heaven–or, I should say, former file clerk. He’s been booted out of the divine realm after getting caught with a lit blunt on the job. But right before being kicked out, he tried to hurriedly cover up one of his many other mistakes, a file and some loose papers he’d neglected to put away earlier, thus disturbing the order of the Universe. Of course, the file was Ash’s, mistakenly placed in the celestial filing cabinet for females instead of males. The loose papers were two years of Emily’s life, shoved under the rug since Rumisiel didn’t know where they belonged. Now unemployed, Rumisiel seeks Ash and Emily out in order to explain things and help them, needing some very good deeds on his record in order to get his job back and fix his filing snafu before it’s found, which would result in Ash and Emily being permanently altered in order to cover up the screw-up in Heaven. Although they’re pretty furious with this lazy angelic bumbler, Ash and Emily want their old lives back, so they agree to help Rumisiel with his good deeds. (Of course, as the comic goes on, Emily and Ash are forced to admit their new lives aren’t so bad, and would it really be THAT awful if they were never returned to normal?)

(Also: why couldn’t Rumisiel’s filing glitch be one that transforms me into a lottery winner?)

Only Ash, Emily, and Rumisiel are aware of the filing errors; the divine order of things prevents paradox by changing all of existence based upon how files were, you know, filed. However, since Ash and Emily were misfiled, they still remember how their lives were beforehand. But now they have to deal with reality being rewritten, and this is where the story really gets interesting, especially regarding Ash.

The boy-transformed-into-girl plot is one that’s too easy to turn into a cliché. It’s been done in anime, comics, and more than a few comedy variety shows, most of which revolve around a boy-turned-girl being alternately embarrassed and turned on by the sudden presence of boobs. It’s done mainly for comedic effect. It’s been overdone mainly for comedic effect, I’d say. I’m happy to state that Misfile does not fall into this trap. In fact, none of the genderbending stories I’ve encountered (and I seem to have an oddly large number of them under my belt) have ever done what Misfile does. Keep reading….

Since all of Ash’s reality has changed along with her sex (good thing her parents had the foresight to give her a gender-neutral name, eh?), she discovers how different things are as a girl…not just in the present, but throughout her entire life. For example, boy-type Ash knows next to nothing about his mother, except that she’s a model. She walked out on the family to pursue her dreams when Ash was very young. A few years before the beginning of the comic, Ash wrote a heartfelt letter to his mother, wanting to be part of her life again. But he never sent it, embarrassed at showing such emotion. Girl-type Ash, however, is surprised to learn that she has a close relationship with her mom, because in this reality, she actually did send the letter and initiate a reunion between the two. Meanwhile, Ash’s father, Dr. Upton, is very distant to his son in the male reality, but in the female one, he’s a loving, overprotective daddy (who is also responsible for one of the most amusing scenes in the comic so far, when Emily realizes Ash’s dad is her gynecologist).

Of course, Ash also has to deal with other side effects of the female life, such as being hit on when she goes to the auto parts store, female “problems,” and…oh, right, auto parts store. See, that’s something else this comic does that you don’t see a lot of. The artist is a big car buff, so many of the characters in his comic are racers who know their stuff under the hood. I have to admit, I actually learned a thing or three about car engines just from reading this webcomic. Luckily, for those of you who aren’t interested in that fancy learnin’ stuff, the artist never makes the car talk and racing the stars. It’s all about the story. And lest you think Misfile is one big dramatic wah-wahfest of teen identity angst: oh, no. This comic is freakin’ funny. What with Rumisiel’s drunken/stoned bumbling, Ash’s hard-learned lessons in female life, her somewhat perverted father, and Rumisiel’s vengeful ex-girlfriend, an angel who is literally Lucifer’s niece, there’s no lack in the amusement department.

Now, there’s no such thing as perfection, and it wouldn’t really be fair for me to only talk about the things I like, but I’ve gone on for far too long already. Next episode, we’ll hit the other side of the coin, and address some little issues I have with reading Misfile (obviously VERY little, or I wouldn’t enjoy the comic!) But, hey, what’s stopping you from going ahead and checking out Misfile for yourself if this review intrigued you? Who knows, maybe you’ll read something in next week’s article and think, “Hey, I totally noticed this issue while I was reading the comic. Cool to know I’m not the only one who thought that!”

Stay frosty, peeps. I’ll see you next time, so study up! You never know when there’s gonna be a pop quiz….