Greetings, Pumpkinheads!!

Just when you thought I was finished talking about new television shows until fall (actually, I thought I was too), two more brilliant programs re-emerged on the RGB (RGBY if you’re George Takei) landscape this past week.  And since I love both of them, I had to share them with you.

It’s like an Easter miracle!

“Ashes to Ashes”

Anyone familiar with the British hit series “Life on Mars” (as opposed to the less-than-stellar US version that came out in 2008) also knows about the spin-off series “Ashes to Ashes”.  Where “Mars” was about a present day UK detective (Sam Tyler) who falls into a coma and wakes up in the 1970s, “Ashes” is about the police therapist assigned to Sam’s case who also falls into a coma when she is shot in the head by a criminal.  She, however, wakes up in the 1980s.  Both shows play up their combo sci-fi/period cop show elements well.  But whereas “Mars” had a more dour and subdued tone, “Ashes” plays more bright and flashy.  Of course both make total sense since they are each reflections of the decade they are set in.  Though “Ashes” doesn’t quite have the gravitas that “Mars” had, I still find myself enjoying the hell out of this show.  The premise fascinates me, and with the exception of the main protagonist – Alex Drake – a couple of the characters from the previous show carry over.  And one in particular makes it all worthwhile:

DCI Gene Hunt.

Philip Glenister is just so much fun to watch playing this tough-as-nails blowhard who has no problems playing things off-book.  His is a character that sets off a million whistles in a politically correct environment, but you can’t help but root for him.

“Ashes to Ashes” is in its third series (seasons are called series over there, like fries are called chips, chips are called crisps, and Americans are called confused), which will also be its last.  I actually don’t mind that.  I admire the Brits for being able to pull together serials that have a definite beginning, middle, and end.  It makes for less filler episodes.  Though I will be sad when this series reaches its final conclusion, I really hope it ends with a reappearance by Sam Tyler.

“Doctor Who”

I shouldn’t have to tell you about “Doctor Who”.  The only way you could possibly be unaware of the existence of “Doctor Who” is if you were grown in a clone farm and released yesterday (sorry, Gary821).

I was first hooked onto this show back when I was a kid.  It aired on our local PBS station.  Unfortunately, PBS only aired the Tom Baker run (fourth Doctor), which was already out of date by the time I was watching in the early 80s.  Still, I found the show to be ripe with low-budget charms, and the Doctor was nothing short of charismatic.  In fact, as a prime example of the well-known side-effect of becoming a “Doctor Who” fan, my first Doctor became my favorite.  I would eventually get to see episodes from all the different Doctors, but Baker was always my fave.

Until a couple of years ago.  When “Doctor Who” came back to televisions in 2005 after a sixteen year absence (with a brief pit stop over here in the US in 1996 for a horribly-done movie that is considered canon), Christopher Eccleston ushered in a new era of Doctors.  I liked his portrayal a lot, but after only doing one series there was just no way to see just how well he could have made the role his own.

Bring in his replacement – David Tennant – regenerating in as the tenth incarnation (I love the fact that David’s nickname of Tennie works on two levels).  I had a hard time warming up to him at first, but once he managed to get comfy in his skin he was quite a brilliant Doctor, quickly replacing Baker as my favorite (and that wasn’t as easy a feat to accomplish as you might think).  Combining wide-eyed wonder with a manic streak, a cheeky sense of humor and a smidge of darkness underneath, Tennant gave us a well-rounded and fun, yet dramatic take on the Time Lord.

Sadly, Tennant finally stepped down at the end of last year with the last of his 2009 specials.  As I’ve reported before, his replacement was a relatively unknown bloke by the name of Matt Smith.  The youngest actor to date to ever slip on the Time Lord’s footwear, Matt’s Doctor debuted this past weekend in the UK.  Despite my love for Tennie, I was curious and intrigued by the new guy.  I was definitely looking forward to what he would bring to the character.

I was not disappointed.  At all.  Bringing a little bit of Troughton’s Doctor into his personality, Smith plays the “odd Doctor” to the hilt, more so than either Tennant or Eccleston did.  He’s quirky, he’s cheeky, and his complete demeanor just seems to run off-kilter to the world(s) around him.

And I like it.  I don’t know that he’ll have the same impact on me that the tenth incarnation had, but never say never.  I mean, I never expected any Doctor to dethrone my affection for Tom Baker’s.  Am I excited to see what else he’s got up his sleeve?  Oh, abso-flogging-lutely.  He’s going to be a fun Doctor to have adventures with.  And with Steven Moffat (arguably the best writer the new serials have had) now the head writer of the show, “Doctor Who” has the potential to be the best it’s ever been.  I eagerly anticipate each episode.  And though I’m looking forward to where the show goes from here, I still miss Tennant.  It will take quite a bit to make me say “David who?”

On the other hand, the Doctor’s new companion does have me asking “Rose whatnow?”  Red-headed, strong-willed, smartly-written, Scottish cuties for the win!

The Don is only on his third regeneration.  He leads a boring life, and the last two regens were due to stupid accidents.

Greetings, Facehuggers!

As I mentioned to you all last week, I have turned another year older.  Though my physical age may continue to run ahead of me, my essence remains ensconced within a youthful visage, and my interests continue to dwell within a timeless epoch.

Simply put – I’m getting older, but I still love things from my youth.

Case in point, as much as I love modern day video gaming (and I do love me some modern day video gaming), I’m still very much a fan of the old school – Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Mr. Do…  Those are games that, no matter what the new hotness is that I am currently playing on my PS3, I can go back to and play anytime and still get just as much enjoyment out of them now as I did when I first put a quarter in the coin slot back when arcades were still all the rage (I miss arcades).  The classics never get old to me.  And when emulators first became available many moons ago, I went giddy with glee at the thought of being able to play my favorite arcade classics on my PC at home.

Now, here we are in the Year of Our Monolith, and one of the things that has always been a minor obstacle in my enjoyment of classic arcadia has been the inability to play them wherever I go.  Arcades have all but dried up, and the ones that still exist only fill a certain quota – some fighting games, some shooter games, some racing games, a DDR game or two, and some silly, little ticket-spewers.  I have a laptop, and that’s portable… but only to an extent.  Sure, I can play them in my hotel room or at a friend’s house if I bring lappy with me, but I couldn’t just fire up the ol’ MAME while waiting to be seated at an Olive Garden.

Until now.

One of the coolest gifts I got for my birthday was a handy-dandy little portable device called the GP2X WIZ.  This sucker is like a portable slice of love, as it can play any emulator from Atari to Commodore 64 all the way up to PS1.  In short – this thing rocks!

And that isn’t even half of it.  It does tons more!  Not only can it play all those different emulators, but it can also function as an e-book reader, a music player, a picture viewer, a movie viewer, a planner, and a digital recording device.  With all that I’m rather surpised that it doesn’t also grant wishes.  Trust me, it doesn’t.  I tried rubbing it, but to no avail.

Now, it’s a wee bit pricey, but it’s really worth it if you want to save up for it.  It includes a gig of drive space, but you can also throw games and emulators on any size SD card and toss that in there as well.  This thing is truly a remarkable device.  I’ve already slapped three different emulators on a two gig card and have been spending a lot of time playing all my favorite classics writing articles for you fine folk.

That said, I should probably get back to playing Pac-Man writing more writings for the readers of said writings.  In the meantime, I leave you with the other, cool, geeky item I got for my latest trip around Sol:

I certainly won’t freeze before I reach the first marker.

The Don thought they smelled bad on every side.

Greetings, Boxcar Children!

I’m kind of taking the week off (but not really) since my birthday is this weekend.  That’s right, everyone – The Don wasn’t actually created in a test tube or grown in the forest of Pernalia.

Nope, I am 100 percent pure, old fashioned, home-grown human. Born free. Right here in the real world.

So, to celebrate being on this ball of rock and water for thirty-five revolutions around the sun, I’m going to list a couple of great geekeries that came out Anno Donini:

Jaws

One of the greatest horror films of all time, and the movie that put director Steven Spielberg on the map.  This movie’s influence was so impressive, that it literally forced an entire generation to rethink going “back into the water” (yes, I know that’s from Jaws 2, but I’m making a point).  With an impressive cast, the perfect amount of tension, and a cunning play on our fears, Jaws managed to work despite the fact that the shark quite often didn’t.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The film that started a cult phenomenon (doot-doo doo-doo-doot!).  Already a stage show by this time, the film opened to lackluster success.  But over time, Rocky Horror became something more.  Now known as the longest-running theatrical release in history, the movie continues to be shown regularly all over the world.  It’s even spawned its own culture.  Impressive for a movie about a guy wearing fishnets.

Betamax

Ah, poor Betamax – the little videotape that couldn’t.  Sony introduced the first home video system using this technology in 1975 with a price tag of over $2000.  Sadly, this would lead to the first in many “format wars” that would occur over the next thirty-five years.  Despite a higher quality in picture and sound, Beta’s smaller capacity caused it to lose to VHS (also, the porn industry chose VHS over Beta).  But in an interesting twist, most news channels around the country that haven’t gone full digital still use Beta tapes.

Musical Notes

Alice Cooper releases his first solo album – “Welcome to My Nightmare”, a concept album that takes the listener through the nightmares of a boy named Steven.  The stage show is considered one of the biggest stage spectacles of that decade.  And Drew Struzan, most notable for his movie poster work, designs the album cover.

Iron Maiden forms.  My friend Dan Taraschke, still a toddler at the time, starts rocking out for what seems like no reason.  He would find out later in life what exactly happened, helping to form the metal man he would one day become.

Peter Gabriel leaves Genesis.  Oddly, both end up doing better career-wise.  Fans of the original line-up are still butt-hurt to this day.

Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” hits number one in the charts.  Wayne’s World fans have to wait seventeen years to find out what all the hubbub is about.

The Pearly Gates

The Altair 8800 is released, introducing the first microcomputer.  Bill Gates and Paul Allen develop the programming language BASIC and start a little company that, for some reason, never went anywhere called Micro Soft.  I wonder what happened to those guys.

“Live, From New York…”

Saturday Night Live debuted in October under the name “NBC’s Saturday Night”.  Featuring a much looser format, the show featured its original “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” in comedy skits that poked fun at pop culture, politics, and pretty much everything else, as well as more musical segments, stand up, and even a segment that featured new Muppets created by Jim Henson.  The first episode was hosted by comic legend George Carlin, with first appearance by Andy Kaufman.  The show continues to this day, much to the surprise of a lot of people.

Blip…Blip…

Atari released its first console game through Sears – PONG!  My parents actually owned one of the original consoles, and at the time it was some innovative stuff.  Of course, attention spans were a lot longer back in the seventies, so a game where a white dot bounces back and forth between two white lines could entertain someone for quite a long time.  Nowadays, anything less than tons of blood, boobs and hundreds of hours of gameplay is considered a baby’s toy.

That’s all I got for this week.  Yes, I know there are probably plenty more I could have included, but these are the ones that stand out most to me.  Oh, and as an added bonus, you can now find me on movie website CHUD!  I’ve recently been taken on as one of the official CHUD Bloggers, so if you can stomach more than a dose of me a week, you can find more entries there.  In fact, I already have an entry up this week!

Now, as the thirty-five year old in me would say – “Get off my lawn!”

The Don needs a warm glass of milk and a nap.

Greetings, Popples!!

I dunno what it is, but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about TRON: Legacy.  Between the viral marketing, watching the original a couple of weekends ago with Krellion, and the latest trailer that I shared with you last week, the new film has quickly become one of my most-highly anticipated releases of 2010.  I’ve even made screencaps (horizontal Olivia Wilde on a glowing couch for the win!) from the trailer to use as wallpaper for my laptop.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t even come out until mid-December.

Great Scott!

It hasn’t helped that details on the film have been few and far between.  That is, until recently…

A couple of days ago, Quint at Ain’t It Cool News was finally able to post a portion of his experiences at a press junket for the film that he attended last year.  Within that report he was able to share a slew of juicy little nuggets about the film.  There are a few of them that have particularly piqued my interest:

Clu is back. And he isn’t quite the good guy we saw in the first film.  Producer Sean Bailey describes him as “Clu version 2.0”.  Current buzz is that he may actually be the one running things in the computer world this time around, not modern Flynn.  Either way, 1982 Jeff Bridges looks incredible, and we may just see a showdown between both Flynns.  You have to be some kind of crazy to not want to see that happen in the new film.

The new TRON suits are a completely new design. For anyone who has seen and remembers the first film, in order to get the glowy circuitry effects on the original outfits, each actor wore a white suit with the circuitry design stenciled on.  All of the computer world scenes were shot in black and white, with the light effects added in post through rotoscoping.  This made for a unique and cool effect.  The new suits are actually black rubber with the lighting effects done in real time on the suits themselves.  This is achieved through a new, rubberized lamp that is flexible enough to move with the wearer.  The actors actually light up during filming.  This is necessary because the computer world scenes are being shot in 3D, and rotoscoping is difficult to add to a 3D shot in post-production.  Frankly, the live lighting is one of the aspects of the new film the really gets me excited.  We’re already seeing animated light-up T-shirts and other apparel on geek sites and in pop culture stores.  How soon before clothing stores start incorporating the flexi-lamp tech into their merchandise?

The color-coding has been updated. In the original film, it was more or less established that the good guys were blue and the bad guys were red/orange.  In the original screen-play for TRON, the good guys were yellow while the villains were blue.  Shortly after the film was shot, this was changed to the red/blue distinctions.  But if you notice, there are a couple of shots in the first film that still reflect the old color scheme.  In Legacy, the color palette for the goods and bads have been updated, almost in an amalgam of the conflicting choices in the first movie: evil is represented by oranges and yellows, while the protagonists are highlighted by whites, greens and blues.  I think this will be one of the things that symbolizes the evolution Encom’s computer world has gone through since the events of the first film almost thirty years prior.

TRON the game exists in the movie universe. A friend of mine watched the trailer the other day and was a little irked that Flynn’s son discovers a hidden room behind a TRON game cabinet.  Problem was, there was never a TRON game in the original film.  TRON was the name of Alan’s program, to be used as a security program.  And to some degree, my friend is correct.  However, before all of my fellow geeks cry out in geek terror over such a frivolous and irresponsible error on the side of meta, check out the official Encom website.  There is a timeline of events established that incorporate the first and second film, as well as all the events before and in between.  According to the timeline, Flynn did indeed create a TRON game a year after the events that occurred in the first film.  It apparently became an even bigger hit than Space Paranoids, Flynn’s previous gaming success.  So, relax.  It looks like the writers did their homework.  You can have your meta and play it too.

The computer world in the film is an isolated net. If you remember from the first movie, the world of TRON was a private network on Encom’s mainframe.  The MCP at one point even told his user Dillinger that he wanted access to the mainframes of each country’s government so he could run things better.  According to the info made available at the press junket, Legacy’s computer world is also an isolated net created by Flynn and hosted on 1989 servers.  It has evolved and grown over the past twenty-plus years.  Whether this new world is based off of Encom’s original mainframe or a brand new creation remains to be seen.  Either way, I kinda prefer the idea of it being its own isolated realm.  I think the story could have gotten too unwieldy and overwhelming if these characters were playing around in our world wide web.  This way, Flynn and Clu will be much more fun to watch playing around in a universe that has a slightly claustrophobic feel to it, giving the moviegoer more tension to chew on.

Fans of Bladerunner should at least enjoy the movie stylistically. Syd Mead, who designed the world Decker got to chase replicants down in also did the design work for TRON and Legacy.  So, expect a dark film with a lot of Bladerunner influences.  I think that stylistic choice should fit this new film perfectly.  It’s one of the major aspects of Legacy I’m really looking forward to.

And if none of the above is enough to get you excited, I leave you with this (didn’t I mention this?):

(You can embiggen it.)

The Don feels a presence.  Another warrior is on the mesa.  Oh, it’s just a C.O.W.-Boy.

Greetings, Shadow Warriors!

There’s an old saying where I come from, and it goes something like this:

“If you can’t come up with a Spwug article for the week, just make something up.”

How anyone in my home town even knew there would ever be a web site called Spwug some day in the future is a riddle that we may never solve (radiation spill).  Be that as it may, today it just happens to be good advice.  I’m having a frazzleweek (not to be confused with a Fraggle Rock) this week, and it’s making it tough to come up with anything substantial to offer.  So instead, I once again break out the odds and ends that I have come across over the past couple of days, plop them all into a stew pot, add some seasonings, stir, and serve it to you with some blue milk, courtesy of the charred corpse of Aunt Beru.

What?  It’s not like the Lars family was going to be drinking it anymore.  It was just sitting there on the table.

Megaman 10 is out.  Rockman continues to cry at the injustice.

For those of us still clinging to the nostalgia of our 80s roots (and who really isn’t these days?) and were feeling a little like we got repeatedly crotch-punched by the last fanboy-pleasing offering, Capcom once again gives us the retro-NES-looking goodness of Megaman 10.  While the last installment offered Proto as DLC, this time he comes ready-to-play, with Bass being the DLC character this time around.  All of the graphic and gameplay charm of 9 returns, but this time you can save yourself a cranial bruising from beating your head against the wall – Megaman 10 includes an “easy mode”.  Meanwhile, the Japanese continue to laugh at us while they exist in their superior universe.

Final Fantasy XIII also came out this week.  World buckles at the contradiction.

I stopped playing this series a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away…), sometime after X or XI or XVIC or whatever that one was with the different characters (stupid Roman numerals).  I’ve read that there have been a few changes, one of which is that the battle system is set up similar to Advent Children.  I’ve heard mixed feedback.  A few of my friends seem to enjoy it, while a few others do not.  And still a few other others are still wondering how there are thirteen of them when it’s the “Final Fantasy” (and even more when you count the spin-offs).  I still maintain that three six is the best one Square has ever done, and they will never be able to top just how well that game is.

The new Tron Legacy trailer is online.

Some of you may be a wee bit too young to remember the movie that put CG animation on the map and laid the groundwork for what Spielberg, Cameron, and Pixar are doing today in film.  Tron didn’t pull in a very large box office when it opened back in 1982, but it has since gained a cult following – enough of one that Disney finally greenlit a sequel last year.  Jumping on the viral marketing bandwagon, Disney has kept the details scarce on this new movie, but has made discovering the details rather fun and exciting.  Most recently, people around the world had the opportunity to go on hide-and-seek missions to find an individual wearing a “Flynn Lives” t-shirt in several major cities around the globe.  The reward?  Exclusive swag, and the ability to unlock an online page that featured dates and locations for a “secret” showing of the new trailer for Tron Legacy.  For those who could stand to wait a few extra days, the trailer went online for everyone this week.  And it is badass.

Speaking of movie trailers…

I’ve got two words for you: “briefcase armor”:

One of these things is not like the other…

Word has it that John Krasinski has landed the role of Captain America for the new Marvel film.  You may know him from the American version of “The Office”.  The rest of you may know him as the guy completely wrong for the part.

And that concludes this broadcast day!  I know I said before that I would be making stuff up, but I decided not to… or, at least not entirely.  One of the things I mentioned above is not at all true (or is close to the truth but not true).  Can you figure out which one?  Ooohh!  Puzzles!  I’m guessing that this one won’t be enough of a challenge to keep you busy until next Thursday, will it?

Probably not.

There’s nothing special about The Don.  He’s just an ordinary program.

Greetings, Madballs!

Holy crap.

I’m sure those of you who own one of the “fat” PS3 systems (like me) became quite acquainted with the issue that occurred last Sunday on the right and straight on ‘til Monday.

In short, the non-slim PS3s all took a huge dump.

In a major snafu that most-assuredly gave Xbox 360 owners plenty of ammo in the “Which system is better?” war, a simple glitch with the internal clock ended up wreaking havoc for about twenty-four hours.  For some weird reason, the older PS3 models tried (unsuccessfully, I might add) to turn over from February 28^th to February 29^th, 2010 on Sunday night.  Of course, the system that only does everything (including ride the short bus) did not get the memo that 2010 is not, in fact, a leap year.  The side effect of that?  February still remains short-stacked against her fuller siblings (I’ve always thought of February as a woman – she sure flirts like one).

So, when that internal clock rolled over to the obviously illegal date, those “fat” PS3s immediately wet the bed, making online connection impossible.  Also affected?  Trophy data was either corrupted or non-existent and almost all PS3 games were completely non-playable.

Sony’s response was amusing, yet horrifying at the same time – “Stay off your PS3!”  Sounding like an septuagenarian who just confiscated your Frisbee (do people even play with Frisbees anymore?), the company that uses the same font for Playstation and the Spider-Man movies admitted that they were at a loss, but that the problem was bad enough to warrant treating your system like a red-headed step child (what a sad moniker – I happen to like gingers).

So, like the stalwart troopers that they are, Sony set their tech experts (who obviously have no concept of the Gregorian calendar or this wouldn’t have happened in the first place) to task to find and fix the problem.  Meanwhile, Xbox folks were laughing at our misfortunes right up to the moment when their 360s got their fifth or sixth “Red Ring of Death”, at which point they swore profusely and immediately throw themselves onto some jagged rocks.

At the same time, I was going through a steady decline as withdrawals started to kick in.  It wasn’t noticeable Sunday night, as the problem didn’t occur until after I had already signed off for the evening.  But by the time I got home from work Monday afternoon?  Well, let’s just say that I never realized just how much I use my PS3 until I found out the hard way that about two-thirds of my couch time in the living room requires the use of the third generation Playstation.  I couldn’t play any video games.  I couldn’t watch any movies.  Every time my instincts automatically queued up my arms to reach for the power button on my system I had to stop myself.  In the end, I was forced to “channel surf” – a past time that I’m pretty sure became obsolete right around the same time that Frisbees stopped being something cool that you did in parks and backyards.

Fortunately for me, the Winter Olympics were just over enough to return one of my 8 PM viewing staples to its proper time slot.  After watching the show I bought a Subway sandwich to keep on the air, “Chuck” returned the favor and kept me distracted long enough for Sony to figure out how time is actually kept track of in modern society.  By 9 PM I hesitantly fired up ol’ Bessie based on some positive rumblings I had read in one of the forums I frequent.  Sure enough, my sleek-black beauty was fine and dandy.  She was a little disoriented, still thinking that it was Sunday, February 28^th, but after a gentle correction I was able to play Fallout 3 with only my usual operational glitches and irritations.  All was now right in the world once again.

At least, until all game systems everywhere instantly self destruct while trying to reconcile December 21^st, 2012.

The Don survived the PS3 Blackout of February 29^th, 2010.  He didn’t even get a lousy T-shirt.

…hooboy!  Look at the time!  Sorry, lads and lasses.  There will not be a full “Office” install this week.  Partly because I’m in the process of backing everything up so I can do a full install of Windows 7 on my lappy (See what I did there?  Tied it all together with cleverity!).

I also had another project come up that needed done ASAP.  And in another clever, M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist, I can use this moment to shill that project to all you fellow Spwugnerians in this space:

I’m currently working for my film friends at Darkstone Entertainment writing episode blurbs for director John Johnson’s new Choose-Your-Own Adventure web series called “Spade”.  Episodes air every other Thursday, with the first episode airing two weeks ago.

That means the second episode is online now!  At the end of each episode, viewers are given a choice as to how they want the plot and/or characters to proceed.  All they have to do is make with the clicky on the choices that are presented.  Then, two weeks later, the option that won the most votes will appear as the next episode.

I give you your first taste with episode 1:

And here’s the newest episode!  Vote and choose what you would like to see happen next!

See you next week with a regular installment!

For those of you who are tired of the oversaturation of zombie flicks and feel like the current vampire trend has become vacuous and pedantic, I have encouraging news.

The werewolf film may be re-marking its territory.

Yes, I know that werewolves have already reared their heads in the forgettable, if not horrible Twilight franchise.  But that wasn’t technically a werewolf movie.  It was a movie about raping your face for two hours at ten bucks a pop.

I’m talking about honest-to-Cthulhu werewolves: ferocious creatures that serve as a metaphor for the insatiable beast that exists in all of us (except for Carl – he’s just a disappointment), but also amuse us with blood spray.  Sadly, it’s been quite some time since we were genuinely treated to a great werewolf flick.  Your tastes may vary, but most folks have to go back as far as the 80s before they can even think of one lycanthrope movie of any serious quality.  For some reason, werewolves seem to be a difficult topic to build a movie around.

But, I think there’s a moonlight at the end of the tunnel.  Universal’s new remake of The Wolf Man is definitely a pounce in the right direction.  Based on the 1941 monster film with Lon Chaney, Jr., this reimagining manages to invoke the spirit of the original classic while adding a dash of Hammer Films’ The Curse of the Werewolf.  The result is a fun and thrilling ride with a wonderful gothic atmosphere that manages to make you feel like you’re watching a new installment in the old Universal series.

I will admit right to your face that I’m a big fan of the old Universal monsters, with The Wolf Man being my favorite.  From Lon Chaney’s first foray into the fur to Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man to even the still-hilarious Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, I’ve been fascinated by the lupine creature.  So, I got quite excited when Universal first announced this remake, despite the soulpunch the studio gave me with that craptastic mess called Van Helsing a few years back.

Though the production was troubled almost from the beginning due to a change in directors, soundtrack swaps, and numerous reshoots, the solid script managed to remain enough of a stable base to give us a solid little film.  The biggest aspect of the movie that will slap you in the face (in a good way) as soon as that first reel starts spinning is the atmosphere.  Like I said above, the gothic tone being given off by the Victorian era setting sets the backdrop beautifully.  Combine that with the muted colors on display, and you almost think you’re watching the black and white classic.  This was actually one of my favorite elements of the film.

Then there’s the score.  Originally, The Wolfman was supposed to be set to a rock score.  I’m certainly glad it wasn’t, as that would have completely killed the mood set by the rest of the film.  As it is, we get yet another twitch of the baton from Mr. Danny Elfman, whose score isn’t as overwhelmingly Elfmannish as we’re used to.  But I think this is a plus in this case, as this movie really calls for something more atmospheric, which I think Elfman does well here.

As for the acting, everyone brings their A-game to the party.  Benicio Del Toro is practically channeling Lon Chaney, Jr. in his performance.  Hopkins chews every bit of scenery he’s in, but that’s always a good thing.  Hugo Weaving’s portrayal of Inspector Abberline (famous for the real life investigation of the Jack the Ripper murders) made me grin from ear to ear as he displayed his smug chutzpah to every character that got in his path.  And though her character seemed to be the weakest link in the film, even Emily Blunt was able to deliver a good performance.

I know one of the major upheavals that came about during production was the fact that Rick Baker’s marvelous make-up effects were not going to be used for the werewolf transformation sequences.  I was extremely disappointed when I heard this, as Baker is a master at this craft.  Heck, one of the reasons he asked to be a part of the film was so he could design these sequences.  Sadly, Universal decided to go with CG for the transformations instead.  I have to admit, I was not impressed when I caught glimpses of them in the trailer.  But, I was pleasantly surprised by how they looked in the final film.  With the right lighting (i.e. dark), I could hardly tell that it was CG at all.  Then there’s the best news of all – Baker’s designs for Del Toro’s final Wolf Man form were kept in unhindered.  And damn, does he look awesome!  Director Joe Johnston knew exactly how to play it, too – flashes of creature throughout the film until we get to see him full on at the end.  Johnston got it, and the viewers were rewarded.

Lastly, there’s the gruesome factor.  One of the things that the original Wolf Man loses on me with subsequent revisits is its lack of real savagery.  As a kid the Wolf Man scared the bejeezus out of me.  With his intense gaze and his rabid snarls Chaney was able to put the wiggins on a boy.  As an older geek, however, the ferocity on display is quite bland.  All Chaney ever really does is grab people while snarling, and maybe occasionally bite a dude away from the camera.  Don’t get me wrong – I still love the flick.  It transcends beyond what it loses as the viewer gets older.  It’s just that the scares aren’t scares anymore, but more like classic thrills in the vein of that kiddie roller coaster that you still enjoy riding from time to time.

Now, you want a Wolf Man movie with bite?  And not just bite – I’m talking eviscerating, lip smacking, flesh-tearing bite.  This film has got it.  Talbot’s beast does his fair share of all of the above, and then some.  And I love it.  There were some pretty gruesome kills in this flick, and I cackled with glee at every one of them.

Now, is this a perfect film?  No.  It definitely has some flaws.  The character development between Talbot and Gwen is kind of weak and feels rushed.  The plot stumbles a couple of times as well.  Talbot’s trip to the asylum in London felt more like a sidetrack to the main story, but at the same time it set up one of my favorite sequences in the film.  I mean, who doesn’t want to see the Wolf Man rooftop-hopping in the light of the full moon in Victorian-Age London?

Despite these flaws, the movie pulls you in and along for the ride.  Like Avatar, you find yourself living and breathing in the environment while getting wrapped up in the events as they unfold on one Lawrence Talbot.  I found myself enjoying it so much, I’m planning on going back to the theater to see it again.

I know that Universal is planning on resurrecting the rest of their creature pantheon as well.  If this movie is a sign of things to come, we may be finding ourselves emerging into a new era of Universal Monsters.

Van Helsing be damned.

The Don was drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s.  His hair was perfect.

Greetings, Toxic Avengers!!

Valentine’s Day is coming up.  So, in honor of this day of hearts and cupids I should probably do some kind of article commemorating fatal romances in movies, dictating the top love triangles in comics, or listing the love ballads everyone says they hate but secretly love.

I’m not gonna do any of that.

Instead, I’m going to veer completely around that holiday of pinks and purples and make a beeline straight for the twenty-four hours (almost) everyone in the U.S. will be observing (theoretically) the day after: Presidents’ Day.

For my contribution to the day in which we acknowledge the efforts of our leading forefathers, I turn to a medium that – in this day and age – can almost be considered as American as baseball and apple pie.

Comic books.

Presidents have been portrayed in comic books almost as far back as the beginning.  From George Washington penning for an (extremely) early version of The Daily Planet to last year’s run of Obama appearances, every age of comics through the years has had a commander-in-chief show up at some point.  In some cases, especially during times of war, having the president appear in a comic book was a way to rally the morale of Americans, as well as to add some weight to a particular hero’s efforts.  If FDR was responsible for helping Captain America obtain the shield he’s known for today, it must be just and right.

But as much as comic creators like to herald our national leaders, they also sometimes throw our presidents into comics to serve in a satirical sense.  The result is that often our leaders are portrayed in a negative light.  The reason for this is simple: comics, like any other entertainment medium, are just as often used to deliver a message as well as entertain.  It is not uncommon for comic book writers to infuse their own views on politics, society, and pop culture into their stories.  Richard Nixon tends to be a perfect example of this, as you’ll see shortly.

So, here are a few of the more notable moments in comic book history when our nation’s presidents made an appearance, for good or for ill:

Richard Nixon: Watchmen

Might as well start with what is most likely the most well-known appearance of a U.S. president in comics history.  Unfortunately for ol’ Tricky Dick, his role in the award-winning series only expounded upon the less-than-stellar reputation he was forever stuck with after his resignation in the shadow of the Watergate scandal.  In Watchmen, Alan Moore creates an alternate 1985 where Nixon is still president, using him as a tool to portray a country that thinks it is invulnerable.  Moore’s take on how Nixon would eventually lead the country to nuclear war was his commentary against “power politics” and “Reaganism”, a statement that continues to resonate with anyone who picks up this powerful graphic novel.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Captain America

FDR appears to have been quite the busy guy in comic books… retroactively.  While not part of the original canon of these books, over the years FDR was retconned into playing a major role in a number of major comic book moments.  Not only did he play a major part in the creation of the Justice Society of America and the All-Star Squadron over at DC, in Marvel’s Captain America issue 255 he makes a cameo appearance to present Cap with his current, iconic shield.

Ronald Reagan: The Dark Knight Returns

Another negative portrayal of a U.S. leader, this time from the pen of Frank Miller.  Miller’s tale also takes place in an alternate reality.  This time, a much older Batman comes out of retirement to reclaim Gotham from being overrun with crime.  Coming out right around the same time as Watchmen, Miller wasn’t afraid to take the founder of “Reaganomics” head on (unlike Moore), portraying him as a slippery-tongued oaf who had only his own best interests at heart.

Ronald Reagan: Legends

Reagan again, only this time, the actor-turned-president was portrayed in a more sympathetic manner.  A semi-successful mini-series that told the story of a Darkseid operative turning the American public against superheroes, Legends featured a Reagan who was a little more reasonable in his decision-making.  Though he initially had to reluctantly issue an order to restrict superhero activity, The Gipper immediately rescinded that edict after the Martian Manhunter saved his life from an assassination attempt.

John F. Kennedy: Action Comics

Kennedy’s appearance in Action Comics issue 309 is distinctive for a couple of reasons – not only does play a major role in the story by teaming up with Superman, he also ends up being one of the few people the Man of Steel trusts with his secret identity.  Sadly, the timing of this issue couldn’t have been worse, though it is part of the reason why this appearance is so notable – Action Comics 309 came out a week after JFK’s assassination in Texas.

Now, before I get comments and e-mails about the bajillion examples I missed, keep in mind that I couldn’t list every single instance of one of our leaders making an appearance in a comic book.  After all of my research, these were the ones that kept popping up the most.  And, for the most part, I think they serve as worthy representatives of a comic book tradition that really shows no signs of letting up for as long as we have presidents in these United States.  And I’m sure that we’ll continue to see them portrayed both sincerely, as well as satirically.

Or we could just get Lex Luthor as president again.

The Don doesn’t get sworn in.  He gets sworn at.

Greetings, Station!

The other day I was listening to the Tenacious D song “Beezleboss (The Final Showdown)” from the soundtrack to Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, a movie which no one saw (as evidenced by the abysmal box office numbers).  Despite its lower-than-lackluster performance, I found the film to be a fun romp in the spirit of the rock band misadventure movies of old.  And being a fan of Tenacious D itself (comprised of Jack Black and Kyle Gass), it was only natural that I picked up the soundtrack to the film.  While it isn’t as good as their first album, “PoD” still contains plenty of little musical gems.  One of my favorites is the afore-mentioned “Beezleboss”.

The song retells a slightly altered version of the story regaled in the previous D song “Tribute” – JB and KG get involved in a “rock-off” with the Devil.  The stakes?  If The D wins, Satan must go back to Hell… and he has to pay Jack and Kyle’s rent.  If Beelzebub wins, he gets to take KG back to Hell with him to be his slave (and not the indentured servitude kind, either).

With the stakes in place, the rock-off commences.  Satan begins with an epic, dark mass of metal proportions.  Tenacious D reciprocate with a fairly inspirational effort, but to no avail.  The Devil wins and prepares to take Kyle back to his domain for eternity.

But wait!  At the last minute, Jables intervenes, causing the Beezleboss to break off a piece of his own horn.  With that piece in Black’s possession, he is able to command the Devil to go back to Hell once more until he is “complete again”.

So, I’m listening to this song and the thought occurs to me – most tales that chronicle Ol’ Scratch competing for a mortal’s soul seem to paint him in the same manner in order to sell the message that good always triumphs over evil.  He’s almost always painted as an honor-bound entity that can be easily beaten by someone with enough talent, hard work, and moxie.

Wait, what?  Hold on a minute.  This is the same guy who had the molten stones to challenge The Big Man.  Sure, he lost and was cast out of St. Peter’s jurisdiction, but he obviously had enough power to challenge George Burns in the first place.  You don’t make such a bold gesture unless you know for certain that you got the Mana to do so.

Plus, Lucifer is also a master of deception.  He managed to fool the first man and woman with fruit.  The guy’s got some serious ad executive powers going on if he can sell a couple of nudists on foliage sweets.  Come to think of it, this isn’t all that different from the supernatural ability Steve Jobs has to convince people to buy things like iPads.

Wait… Steve Jobs… Apple…

Mind = blown.  Where was I again?

Oh yeah… So, The Dark Lord is obviously a master manipulator.  There’s a reason why he is called The Master of Lies – the guy uses words to confuse, deceive, delude, dupe, fool, gull, hoax, hoodwink, kid, snow, take in, trick, intrigue, machinate, plot, scheme, arrange, contrive, devise, finesse, mastermind, cheat, chisel, defraud, fleece, gyp, hustle, and swindle (thanks, Merriam-Webster!).  He’s always in it for his own ends and he does whatever is necessary to get what he wants.

This means that there is no way in Hell (pun intended) anyone like Charlie Daniels or Ralph Macchio could ever hope to defeat him in a one-on-one.  It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how much spirit you poured into your efforts.  The Devil can say whatever he wants.  He could play two plunky chords off- key while you play Vivaldi backwards with your butt cheeks.  He’ll declare himself the winner no matter what.  It’s what he does.  Say goodbye to your soul, Karate Kid, because no amount of Crane Kicks or Drum Techniques or Lipton Brisk Iced Tea will save you from spending an eternity waxing on and waxing off The Prince of Evil.

Now, I’ll give “Beezleboss” some credit.  Despite the fact that the Source of All Evil adheres to a “demon code”, the song (as well as the final scene of the movie, which is where the song comes from) does finally illustrate that The D had no chance of winning a rock-off against The Dark One.  Even the “Real Ghostbusters” episode “Night Game” had a better understanding of how things should work when you compete against dark forces.  Granted, Winston was playing baseball against your more run-of-the-mill demons, but the ump still recognized that evil was free to cheat and play as dirty as it wanted (well, at least as dirty as a Saturday morning cartoon can get).  Of course, in the end good still won, despite the fact that the evil demons cheated the hell out of that game.

Don’t get me wrong.  I completely understand the intention behind the way these stories are told.  Triumph of the human spirit against the forces of evil and the belief that we are inherently good enough to conquer our own (metaphorical) inner demons is a popular trope that’s never going away.  As a society we need to be able to watch movies and television shows, listen to music, and read books and comics that remind us no matter what dark paths we go down or what nefarious entities we meet, we still have a chance and the power within us to punch old Beelz in the front-flow and scream “Adrian!” in triumph.

It’s just that every once in awhile I would like to see Mephisto with his Adamantium cup on.

The Don went down to Georgia.  Her mother didn’t approve.