Archive for the 'Comedy' Category

8. The Don Says…

Monday, October 12th, 2009

…congratulations to Richard and Katy, the supreme rulers of the Spwugniverse!!!!!

RichKaty

They are the essence of everything that is Spwug.  Without either of them, this site wouldn’t be here to bring you a daily dose of all things geek.

It was an honor and a privilege to witness the joining of these two forces of good.  They are my friends.  They are my family.  I am proud to be the head writer of something they envisioned, and I am proud to be a part of their lives.

My best wishes to both of you, Pocky Rich and Katy.  Here’s to bigger and greater things.  With your powers combined, anything is possible.

Meeting at the Docks #22: Show You Autumn Be Watching: 2009 Edition (Part II)

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

Greetings, Spin Doctors!

As promised, here is the second installment of my highly popular and deeply revered Fall TV Watch List.  Unfortunately, as I look at the list of shows I’m currently watching, it appears that my list this year is smaller than I anticipated.  Part of that is because of the reason I mentioned in part one – not many new shows for the 2009/2010 season really grabbed me while a large portion of the shows that I did like were snuffed out like a wealthy, old man who lies on his death bed while his pillow-wielding son Billy (sorry – it’s William now) decides he wants his inheritance immediately.

The other reason is because there are about three or four shows that I can’t discuss yet because they haven’t started yet (Thanks, NBC!  Way to show your support for “Chuck”!  I bought and ate a Subway sandwich for that show!)

Still, I’m able to toss four more shows at you this week, with an extra helping of two new animated series that I’m having a ball with.

And remember kids – just because a show may not be listed here, doesn’t mean it isn’t a good show.  Let me be your LeVar Burton and use this series to stimulate your desire to go out and find shows that you like on your own!  These are just shows I am able to fit into my schedule that I really enjoy (except for one – I think I’m just a glutton for punishment with that one).  But, you don’t have to take my word for it…

“Community”

This is one of the two new shows of the fall season that I decided to add to my regular watch list.  In fact, I was originally going to give it a pass.  I’m glad I changed my mind.  This show is pretty funny so far, unlike when I tried that “Office” clone “Parks and Recreation”.  Joel McHale (of “The Soup” on E!) stars as a(n) lawyer opportunist who is forced to go back to community college because it’s discovered by the State Bar Association that his degree isn’t valid.  Add in an eccentric variety of characters that he shares classes with, mix thoroughly, and enjoy.  The biggest surprise here is Chevy Chase.  Yes, that Chevy Chase (no, not the bank).  This guy hasn’t been funny in years, but he seems to have gotten his second third fourth twentieth wind on this show.  I find myself laughing at the antics that made 80s Chevy so much fun.

“The Office”

There are those who are UK “Office” purists.  There are those who prefer the US version.  I say, “Are you gonna eat that donut?”  I mean, what else is there to say about this show?  The US “Office” started out looking like a weak clone of the original, and wasn’t faring much better.  Six seasons later, and the show is still as strong as ever.  I came into this show late, but it has become one of the shows I eagerly anticipate week after week.

“Smallville”

I mentioned that there is one show I’m a glutton for punishment for.  This is it.  I will admit, this show really shouldn’t even be on this list.  The storylines are contrived, the acting isn’t great, the plots go in odd directions that would make your GPS rethink what vocation the GPS Guidance Counselor in GPS high school advised her on (oh come on – we all use the female voice).  But for some reason, I can’t quit this show (yes, I made a Brokeback joke).  If for no other reason, I want to see Clark finally become Superman.  I think Tom Welling fills the role well enough.  And every season they manage to hook me with some gimmick.  Last season it was Doomsday.  This season… Zod.  Yes, he’s already delivered the “Kneel before…” line.  Moving on…

“Dollhouse”

The newest offering from everyone’s favorite scribe (except for you) Joss Whedon.  This is a show that should have been one of the casualties of the 2008/2009 season.  But, somehow Fox decided to graduate it to sophomore status, despite a very clunky year one.  Although the networks stepped on Joss’ toes consistently during production of the first half of the first season (forcing rewrites, episode shuffling, character changes), Joss was able to wrangle the reins back during the latter half, salvaging a sinking show and making the last few episodes pretty riveting to watch.  So far, the second season is starting out rather strongly, especially since all of the build up and introduction has been taken care of.  I’ve always been a loyal fan and supporter of all things Whedon, so I think I’ll be sticking around the “Dollhouse” for a little while longer.  At least until “Firefly” magically makes a comeback.

And now… a few brief words about two new animated shows that I’m finding myself eagerly diving into each week:

“Titan Maximum”

Holy crap, this show is awesome.  Hyperbole aside, this is another stop-motion animated show by the guys who brought you “Robot Chicken”, only this time they’re going the “Venture Bros.” route – creating a new universe of characters based on the sentai shows we grew up with in the 70s and 80s like “G-Force” and “Voltron”.  This show pays homage to those slices of fandom while at the same time parodying them.  And they’ve done their homework, from the character-types they use to the campy music they play during fighting scenes.  And this show is hilarious, importing the same type of humor enjoyed on “Robot Chicken”.  Plus: Billy Dee Williams as the voice of the Admiral that the TM crew has to answer to!

“The Super Hero Squad Show”

I know, your jaw’s in your lap – “Does he mean that little kiddie cartoon based on those little Hasbro figures for the kiddies?”  Indeed I do.  This show is a lot of fun!  When I first heard about it, I said my “feh”s and didn’t think another thought about it.  Then, I got to watch a mini-marathon of the first three episodes during Horrorfind Weekend in the hotel room.  This show hides some really intelligent writing under the “made for ages 4 – 8” Bruce banner.  It’s a silly, pun-filled romp where some of Marvel’s most famous (and even some obscure) heroes go up against the Marvel villains every week.  It’s all fighting and bantering, but it’s imaginative and fresh.  To put it best, it’s like if a Marvel Superheroes cartoon was done by the folks who brought you “Tiny Toons”.

And with that, I wrap up part deux of the 2009/2010 season watch list.  I plan to bring you at least one more, but it may have to wait… until spring, unfortunately.  That seems to be when the rest of the shows on my list come back.  In the meantime, this is October.  I’m running a little behind this year, but expect some Hallowe’en-themed articles for the rest of the month.  I leave you with a nugget of awesome news – our own Head Honchos, Richard Kim and Neomera, are getting hitched this weekend!  Now you know why they’ve been a little sparse around the site lately.  A couple of us Spwugnerians will be in attendance to bring the proper amount of geek representation, of course.  So, when you get a chance, please offer your best wishes to the happy couple!

I’m out!

The Don is ready for his treatment.

Interlude: A Review from a Real American Zero

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

You’ve likely already seen the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie reviews from our very own Donnie Sturges and Krellion. Their reviews are much better than mine, for the sheer fact that they ARE reviews. I bring you…more of an anti-review. A hopeful handful of laughs. A mockery, if you will.

Does that mean I thought the movie was awful? Heck, no! I had a blast! (Not as literal as the explosive blasts in the movie itself, mind you.) I went in expecting nothing but a lot of cool explosions, and I was not disappointed.

But the greatest thing about G.I. Joe is that it refuses to take itself seriously. It’s self-aware. Of its toy-line past. Of its 80s cartoon roots. Of the fact that it’s taking a cheesy, cartoony concept and ramping it up to eleven. As Donnie Sturges inspired me to say after the movie, the sheer meta of it all threatens to collapse in upon itself into a gigantic black hole of self-referencing. And it’s awesome.

That said, there’s a lot about this movie you can laugh with. And, sometimes, laugh at. I scribbled down numerous things that stuck in my head, and I now present them here for you. Please note: not all of these actually happened as I present them–not beyond the first line of each, anyways. Mostly, they’re more…things the characters should have said/done, but didn’t, except for in my head at the time. If you see this movie, you’ll probably find similar conversations running through your own noggin. These are also completely out of order, by the way. Are there spoilers in here? How should I know? It’s a brainless fun movie that may or may not even actually HAVE a plot to be spoiled! Read at your own risk, children.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt/The Doctor: I’m the Doctor.
Christopher Eccleston/McCullen: No, you bloody well are not! I’m the bloody Doctor! Where’s the TARDIS? Where’s my agent?
Lackey #1: Sir! Your accent! You’re supposed to be Scottish in this movie, sir!
Christopher Eccleston/McCullen: Bloody hell! I mean….Away, an’ bile yer heid, banger!
David Tennant: (Off-camera) If thae were wantin’ a Scottish Doctor, thae ought t’hae asked me!
Lackey #1: (Whispering to Lackey #2) I thought Gordon-Levitt was that kid from “Third Rock from the Sun.” Didn’t he, like, retire or die or something?

(Introducing Duke and Ripcord to the Joes)
Scarlett: Hello, boys, I’m Scarlett. I’m a hot redheaded bombshell who knows stuff, but don’t worry about competition–the women in this movie are only strong female characters when it’s beneficial to the plot. (Male cast: *Whew*) The rest of the time we’ll just be showing off our bodies and playing hard-to-get. I’ll be sure to scream your names in a girly voice when I think you’re in danger.
Ripcord: I think you should only scream MY name in in a girly voice, when you use that kung-fu action grip to–
General Hawk: This is only a PG-13 movie, soldier! Now you know, and knowing is half the–
Audience –Yeah, we saw that one coming.
Ripcord: Heh heh. That’s what she said.

White House Staffer: Mr. President, we must take you to the bunker. The whole world is in grave danger.
President: You mean–?
White House Staffer: Yes, sir. Your accent won’t stop changing.

(Snake Eyes does something typically risky)
Scarlett: SNAKE!
Otacon: Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAKE!
Scarlett: Who the hell are you?

Scarlett: SNAKE!
Snake Eyes: (Hand signals that translate to “What is it now, woman?!”)
Scarlett: Why are you white?

In another part of the world….
(Badly-rendered CG polar bear can’t live with his jerky animations anymore and commits suicide, seconds before an enemy aircraft lands on the ice)
Baroness: We’ve captured a Joe.
Storm Shadow: Handcuff him. If you put one of the world’s top soldiers in handcuffs, he’s TOTALLY helpless!

(Because you should always trust the evil Japanese ninja who’s actually a Korean man.)

The Doctor: It’s time for the COBRA to RISE up and reveal itself.
McCullen: O I C WUT U DID THAR

(Ripcord steals an enemy jet)
Scarlett: Is it true what they say about black boys?
Ripcord: That they know how to handle their big, black…stolen jet toys? You know it, baby.

Ripcord: I CAN’T VOICE-CONTROL THIS JET THAT I STOLE. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I’D BE UNABLE TO COMMAND A JET I’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
Scarlett: Maybe it responds to McCullen’s ancestral Scottish moonspeak. I speak Celtic!
Ripcord: Since when, cracka chick?
Scarlett: Since it was convenient to the plot!
Ripcord: Hey, wait, there ain’t no single Celtic langua–
Scarlett: DON’T WASTE MY TIME WITH YOUR POINTLESS REAL-WORLD FACTS.

Cobra Commander: DUUUKE. I AM YOUR–**
Duke: Daddy? Is that you?
Cobra Commander: ….Ex-girlfriend’s brother. What the eff is WRONG with you, man?
Duke: DUDE. HOW DID I MISS THIS TOTALLY OBVIOUS PLOT TWIST.
M. Night Shyamababallamaramalamadingdong: Wut a TWEEST!

**Yes, I know the correct Star Wars quote is “No, I am your father.” Don’t ruin my feeble attempts at humour!

This last one actually happened exactly as I write it (bonus TRUTH!):

White House Staffer: Mr. President, telephone. The French are very upset.
Numerous people in the audience and also the voice inside my head: Of course they’re very upset! They’re French!

Bet you can’t wait to go see the movie now, can you?

Webcomic Tribute and Review: Friendly Hostility and Other People’s Business (Respectively)

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Welcome back! Are you ready for your weekly punishment? I’ve got so many wonderful things lined up! Like a punch in the face. A kick in the teeth. The ear-biting-off to end all ear-biting-off-ings. Later, I’ll glare at a puppy. The inHUMANITY.

Actually, none of that’s true. (This week.) But if you thought I was being a bit hostile,** then you’ve just seen me pull the lamest segue ever, once I jump into the tribute review for the recently-ended webcomic Friendly Hostility.

**You really just thought, “Wow, that’s unnecessarily mean,” didn’t you?

Formerly a thrice-weekly strip, Friendly Hostility began on January 8, 2004 and ended on July 25, 2009. It was the brainchild of the wonderfully demented and prolific K. Sandra Fuhr (whose new webcomic gets a mini-writeup at the end of this tribute). Fuhr’s blurb on the front page of the website relates a good sum-up of the overarching plot: “Friendly Hostility is the story of two best friends who happen to be dating each other: Fox, a reporter, and Collin, a megalomaniacal would-be dictator and former kid’s show host.” Oh, but of course there’s so much more than that….

A veritable melting pot of cultures (and species), the cast of Friendly Hostility is almost as varied as the types of plots that came into play during the comic’s five and a half years of service. Just to give you a taste of what could be expected in any given installment, let’s blab a bit on some of the characters, which conveniently doubles as summaries for numerous plots:

Friendly Hostility’s Collin Sri’vastra

Collin Sri’vastra (smirking at right in the above picture) – Intense, mostly-serious, rather antisocial, and a self-professed asexual (in one storyline, though, he has to face up to actually admitting he’s gay to his family, due to the whole, you know, “relationship with Fox” thing). He looks like “such a nice young man,” as the old lady next door would say, but if you drive-by tap his car’s bumper in the parking lot, you’re likely to find the charred remains of your vehicle smoldering on your doorstep the next morning. Incongruously, Collin works for much of the strip as Safari Sam, a children’s show host. Collin’s not-so-secret ambition in life is to overthrow a South American country, preferably Venezuela, and become dictator by age 30. At one point, he decides it’s time to act out his dream and travels to Venezuela, with rather less-than-successful results.

Friendly Hostility’s Fox Maharassa

Kailen “Fox” Maharassa – Don’t let that serious expression trick you. Fox is a happy dork who’s mostly content to let life drift by, work the odd reporting gig, and support his boyfriend’s Venezuelan domination schemes (he affectionately calls Collin “Boss”), although he steps up if a big problem needs solving. Near the end of the comic, he convinces Collin to accept that their relationship has gotten a bit rocky, in order to enroll the pair in counseling. Fox doesn’t care if you’re straight, gay, a demon, Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos, or a weekend Satanist–as long as you’re a mostly-good person, you’re more than welcome to hang out and drink with him. Just don’t call him Kailen.

Friendly Hostility’s Demon

The Demon – The 2,783rd child of Lilith, the Demon’s real name can’t be addressed here, as it causes dripping nosebleeds to any mortal who encounters it. Sorry! Despite his demonic background, he’s actually a decent sort of guy. He drinks with Fox and Collin, tries to meet women, and even takes a job as a nurse. He’s more of a moral voice for the comic than most of the non-demonic characters. Even when he recommends interior decorating with dead babies. (I would argue, “ESPECIALLY when he recommends interior decorating with dead babies,” but my lawyers tell me I shouldn’t reveal incriminating evidence about my hobbies.)

Friendly Hostility’s Anne Khoeler

Anne “Bootsie” Khoeler – Collin’s “slave,” won in a poker game against her brother (the prize was actually the guy’s kidney, but he didn’t wanna pay up). Renamed “Bootsie” after a cat of Collin’s, Anne is more of a little sister/housekeeper to Fox and Collin. When her “slaving” contract expires, she wants to stick around to take care of the pair, on the condition that Collin gives her a village in the South American country he finally conquers. She grows up from nervous little girl to a bold young woman over the course of Friendly Hostility, tries unsuccessfully to date the Demon, and eventually moves away to college.

Friendly Hostility’s Fatima Maharassa

Fatima “The Evil Ice Princess from Hell” Maharassa (addressing the “fine art” of stalking above) – Fox’s older sister. It’s not so much that Fatima’s evil. It’s just that she does things her way, only her way, and she has her own unique moral code, which she rigidly adheres to. She sees The World According to Fatima, and scoffs at anyone else’s ideas that things could be done differently. She rejects notions of femininity and beauty, can and likely will kill you with her bare hands, and is easily mistaken for a long-haired, hairy-pitted man (in stark contrast to the soft and cute baby she was at the beginning of the comic). Fatima resents her mother’s embracing of feminine beauty and life as a housewife, and their relationship is strained at best, even after Fatima leaves her family by moving to Alaska. She was also briefly stalked by a woman named Amanda, who eventually ended up launching (unintentionally) into outer space as a result of being impregnated with Fatima’s “volatile Maharassa DNA.” (Did I mention Fatima’s and Fox’s dad is a mad scientist? No? Well.) In one of the more surprising plot developments, Fatima marries a man who saved her from freezing after she lost a fight with an avalanche (while trying to pick a fight with a bear) in Alaska. This becomes a little less surprising when she states she did so because she wants the man’s beautiful house and cat. Fatima’s relationship with her family is accurately summed up and depicted in this strip–they love her, but they also know that she won’t hesitate to sell them all out if it furthers her goals.

….And that’s just for starters. The cast gets even crazier, with characters like Padma and Nefertari “Bunny” Maharassa, the parents of Fox and Fatima. Bunny is a dancer-turned-homemaker, while Padma is the afore-mentioned mad scientist who has NASA on speed-dial. There’s “Uncle Rafi” Ibrafim (also seen in the above linked comic), a family friend who works as a Satanic priest on weekends, where they host a heckuva bake sale. And there’s Kitty, who begins as a fake girlfriend for another character, then becomes a real girlfriend of sorts, then has to share her fake-real boyfriend with another man (makes perfect sense, right?) And it just gets wilder from there.

The art is in a style that’s uniquely Fuhr’s. She’s not afraid to draw characters with realistic body types, which gives them personality, as well as balance to the amusingly unrealistic situations they often end up in. Friendly Hostility actually begins as a side story that takes place years earlier, when Fatima is still a baby. This means that the characters have to age over the course of the comic, and they do so believably–for example, look at this strip, featuring Padma, Bunny, Rafi, and baby Fatima. Compare it to this one, featuring the same characters a few decades later.

The storylines are sometimes just for laughs, but more often show how the various character relationships develop, fall apart, reconcile, and evolve. Also, sometimes ducks explode. It’s not a comic where you can just jump in at the beginning of any given storyline and instantly know what’s going on. That’s the closest thing to a warning I’ve really got here (and it’s stated to tickle your fancy rather than to tell you “watch out so this doesn’t trip you up”). Years of development have gone into the interactions amongst much of the cast. Fuhr includes more than enough variety in this comic that it never gets old or trite. Even the punchlines that have been done many times before in the world of humour manage to fit in here.

Friendly Hostility is actually connected to numerous earlier webcomic works by Fuhr, with characters from this comic appearing in earlier webcomics. Moreover, characters from Friendly Hostility will be appearing in Fuhr’s newest comic, Other People’s Business. But as Friendly Hostility is the first comic of Fuhr’s I read, this is where I’m placing your jumping-off point.

Now for a little blurb about Fuhr’s newest project, Other People’s Business. It only started up once Friendly Hostility was ending its run, so there’s not a lot to tell–perfect for a follow-up recommendation to a big webcomic review, eh?

Other People’s Business is the story of Daniela “Danny” Alvarez, a girl who’s pretty much given up on getting anywhere in life and prefers to drink herself into oblivion. This lofty goal gets shattered when a thief named Hilary literally comes crashing into her life (via the window), and the two end up on the run from a “fake cop,” who appears to have, at the very least, a secret mechanical arm (okay, so it’s tattoos…for now). And that’s about all I can tell you! At only seventeen pages in, catching up on this comic’s archives shouldn’t take you more than a few minutes. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see more about this strip here later….

But for now, you won’t be seeing anything else, because I am outski!

Meeting at the Docks #17: Encore! Encore!

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Greetings, Turbo Teens!

 

Well, I have returned relatively unscathed from the wilds of West Virginia.  Didn’t even hear any banjo music or anything.  I know I promised a recap of the shoot I participated in over this past weekend, but unfortunately I have been asked to keep mum until September ninth.  That’s the day that the teaser trailer for the Plan 9 remake will go live.  I’ll give you all a heads-up when it happens.  I will say that it was a lot of fun and a great experience.  I should be able to pummel you all with photos once the trailer hits the web.

So, the question becomes “What do I talk about for the rest of my article?”  Well, it just so happens that the Encore channels have bailed me out yet again.  You may remember a couple of weeks ago that they bestowed upon me the gift of Crimewave, and I graciously passed the savings onto you.  Well, it appears that the Encore gods have noticed what an 80s nut I am, because they’ve been delivering the goods lately.  They delivered unto me not just one, but three morsels of delectable 80s goodness.  And I’m about to break them down for you right here:

 

Spies Like Us

Spies Like Us

This was one of those great comedy gems from the 80s, when Chevy Chase was still funny, Dan Aykroyd was still thin, and John Landis was still directing movies.  I remember watching this flick every time it showed up on one of the pay channels.  It came out right around the height of popularity for the original “Not Ready for Prime Time Players”, and it seemed like most of them were consistently churning out hit comedies all the time.  This movie also sported an abundance of amusing cameos – Terry Gilliam as Dr. Imhaus, Frank Oz as a test monitor, Ray Harryhausen as Dr. Marston, B.B King and Larry Cohen as government agents, Sam Raimi and Joel Cohen as security guards, and Bob Hope as himself.

But, here’s the thing – despite the impressive list of credentials, I sat through this movie last week noticing that the movie isn’t as funny as I remember.  I mean, it is still amusing.  I grinned through almost the entire film as scenes I knew from memory unfolded and lines I could recite by heart were uttered onscreen.  Yet, the movie didn’t quite hit me like it used to.  I still like Spies Like Us, but I don’t think I’ll be needing to catch it every time Encore shows it this month.

 

2010: The Year We Make Contact

2010

Interesting anecdote – I saw this movie before I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey.  In fact, I saw this movie a large number of times before I saw 2001.  I used to watch this every time it aired on one of the pay channels.  Certainly not the masterpiece that Kubrick’s film was, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it every time it came on.  The visuals alone – the Leonov and the Discovery silhouetted against Jupiter and its moon Io, the Monolith when it first appears before the crews of both ships… those images made such an impression on my young mind.

Then there was the scene that simply made me gasp in sheer awe – millions of little monoliths, devouring Jupiter.  The sight of the giant black spot growing as an entire gas giant was being sucked into the vortex while the Russians and the Americans were trying to escape sent shivers up my spine.  Many years later, at the age of thirty-four, that image still gives me shivers.  I found myself still enjoying this film immensely when I saw it last week, especially now that the underlying social commentary focusing on the politics of the Cold War no longer go over my head.  And to be honest?  I thing I like it more than 2001.  As artistic and revered as Kubrick’s film is, I found it to be long and boring in parts.  I think I’ll watch 2010 a large number of times before I see 2001 again.

 

The Gate

The Gate

I saved the best (or at least my favorite) for last.  When I saw that this was being shown on Encore, I immediately set the TiVo to record.  This is one of my favorite little-known horror films from the 80s, starring a young Stephen Dorff in his first film role!  Every time this cool little movie would show up on one of the pay channels, I would immediately be glued to the tube (are we noticing a pattern yet?  Yes, I spent a lot of time watching movies on pay channels).

The premise of this film is simple and fun – three kids are left home for the weekend.  They accidentally release an ancient demon from its dark abyss.  Kids save the day!

One of the things that impressed me when I rewatched this movie last weekend was how well the special effects held up.  There are some incredible stop-motion effects for the different creatures that end up attacking our young heroes that would make Ray Harryhausen (Dr. Marston!) proud.  In fact, there were moments where I couldn’t tell if the effects were stop-motion or little people in suits next to a blue screen.

I found myself enjoying this movie just as much now as I did when I was a wee lad.  It’s a fun little horror flick with some surprisingly good acting coming from our young trio.  Impressive, since they have to carry the film.  This one I’m keeping on my TiVo for awhile… at least until the special edition DVD is released in October.

I’m hoping that Encore continues this current trend of gifting me with 80s delights that I used to enjoy during my childhood.  Of course, for every classic rarity like The Gate, Encore seems to like showing abysmal crap like Date with an Angel and Mannequin 2: On the Move.

The Encore gods giveth, and they taketh away.

 

 

 

All these worlds are yours, except The Don.  Attempt no landings there.  Seriously, you’ll thank us.

Interlude: Gifts from the shore.

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Annnnnnd…I’m back! Don’t applaud or nothin’….

Do I hear…chirping?

That’s a fine way to say hallo, after I’ve gone to all the trouble of going down to Panama City Beach, Florida and bringing you all back a souvenir! But because I love you all THIIIIIIS much, I’ll give it to you anyways.

What is it, you ask? Is it that webcomic review I promised you’d get on the 11th since you wouldn’t get it on the 4th?

Well…no. No, it isn’t. The moral of this story, kids, is to always expect the unexpected when it comes to road trips. In my case, the “unexpected” was a complete replacement of my car’s compressor, radiator, front engine mount, and several other bits ‘n’ ends (I am so over Honda after owning two…I’m going back to Toyota for my next car!) I got home from Florida half a week later than originally planned. And so, due to an extreme lack of time, you don’t get your promised, already-delayed webcomic review this week. Can you ever forgive me?

What’s that, you say? “Give us this present, and maybe we’ll consider it”? Well, fine, then. Here you are! I bring you…the beach.

“The beach?” you ask. “What’s a beach have to do with a geek blog? Beaches aren’t geeky! The sand and the salt water damages our portable electronics. The sun makes it hard to see our tiny screens. It’s almost impossible to get a wireless signal by the ocean. And geeks don’t tan; we BURN! What about the beach could possibly be pleasing to us?!”

Oh, come on, give me SOME credit here! I took this photo from the balcony of the condo I was staying in:

Battlefield 1943 reference at Panama City Beach in Florida

Now THAT’S geekery at its finest.

(….Don’t get the joke? Then you suck need some education about the Battlefield video game series. First, look at this webpage for Battlefield: Bad Company. Then look at this Easter Egg from Battlefield 1943. [It's a shame how explaining a joke ruins the punchline.])

“Oh, PLEASE! THAT’S our souvenir?! But that’s just cheap and CHEESY!”

Well, isn’t that what beach souvenirs are supposed to be?

Like LeVar Burton, I’ll see ya next time!

Meeting at the Docks #15: What a Crime

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Greetings, Borrowers!

 

Most of you are familiar with Sam Raimi – if not by name, then by his body of work: the Evil Dead series, the Spider-Man movies, or the recently released, instant horror classic Drag Me to Hell.  In between those well-known films, Raimi has managed to build himself a decent portfolio of film work, including Darkman and The Quick and the Dead.

But there’s one film on his resume that most people may not be familiar with.  Even Sam Raimi himself has tried to pretend he isn’t familiar with it.  The film in question was his second studio film after Evil Dead.  Called Crimewave (The XYZ Murders if you’re overseas), this little turd burger of a cult classic is a perfect example of how a movie studio can take all the hard work you’ve done to create what has the potential to be a classic film and punch it repeatedly in the face.

 

Crimewave!

 

Let’s start with the perfect ingredients, shall we?  First, you have a decent script that combines slapstick, film noir, and black comedy co-written by Sam Raimi and the Coen Brothers (you know, those guys who have made some classic films of their own like Fargo, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, and No Country For Old Men).  Next, you put Raimi himself in the director’s chair.  Then, you cast everyone’s favorite Old Spice spokesman Bruce Campbell as the leading man.

Sounds like a recipe for a great flick, right?

Unfortunately, Embassy Pictures had different ideas.  Cutting portions of the script, recasting Campbell’s part with an unknown, and slapping the crew with “excruciatingly specific and alternately vague demands” under a small budget made filming conditions a literal hell.  By the time filming had completed, the movie had gone way over budget and schedule, and Embassy continued to butt heads with Raimi over things like producing credits and scoring.

After all of the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Crimewave hit theaters with a resounding thud.  Raimi quickly and quietly disassociated himself with the film, going on to make other films that looked much better on his resume.

Meanwhile, Crimewave found its way to pay-TV and VHS in the mid- to late 80s where it slowly picked up steam to become a cult classic.  In fact, it’s so cult, the cult itself doesn’t even realize that it likes the movie.  But, over the past couple of decades VHS copies have become highly sought after, especially since it’s been the only way anyone could see the film.

Until now, that is.  A couple of weeks ago I had the displeasure of catching it on one of the Encore channels.  Having not seen it since I was a kid, I decided to record it on TiVo and gave it a look-see this past weekend.

You’re welcome.

After watching it I have one thing to say – the film is a mess.  But, it’s a completely insane, madcap kind of mess.  This easily falls into that category of “so bad it’s good” kind of films.  The plot (what there is of one) is kind of simple – two guys share a partnership of a security company.  One guy decides to secretly sell the business out from under the other partner’s nose.  The other partner finds out and hires two crazy exterminators (“We Kill All Sizes”) to off the traitor.  Soft, sweet, and clumsy milquetoast guy who works for the company gets caught in the middle while trying to woo the girl of his dreams.  Crazy exterminators decide to kill practically everyone they come across.

This manages to carry itself out for just under an hour and a half.  The film really just boils down to a series of Three Stooges-style gags (a Raimi trademark) married to a darkly comedic take on mass murder, all of which lead up to the predictable happy ending.  Wanna know the weird thing?  I still enjoyed the hell out of it.  The movie is hopelessly flawed, with horrible editing and the camp level turned up to “11”, but darn it if I didn’t laugh quite frequently throughout.  I mean, this movie is so out there that you find yourself laughing at the most inane things no matter how lame they are.  I really had fun watching this movie.  It’s just a shame that we couldn’t have gotten the movie Sam Raimi had intended.

All that said, I think that this is one of those movies that could go great with a small group of friends, some delicious snacks, maybe a beer or two, and some witty banter.  In fact, I’m really surprised that MST3K never tried to acquire the rights to take a crack at this film.  Maybe the Riff Trax crew could tackle it, if the movie ever comes out on DVD.

Until then, I think I’ll keep it on my TiVo for awhile.

 

 

 

The Don used a Shemp to write this.

Meeting at the Docks #14: Tripping the Riff

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Greetings, Copycats!

Anyone who’s a geek should at least be familiar with the bacon-wrapped awesome that is Mystery Science Theater 3000.   Created by comedian Joel Hodgson, MST3K (what the cool kids call it) started off as a small, local cable show in Minnesota.  With a practically non-existent budget, MST3K was simply a group of funny guys putting together cheap sets and purchasing old films on the cheap so that they could make fun of them on camera for viewers tuning in to KTMA-TV.

Mystery Science Theater 3000

The result was nothing short of a phenomenon (doot do da doo doot!).  The show ended up catching the attention of the right people and soon Mystery Science Theater 3000 was picked up for syndication on then fledgling cable network The Comedy Channel.

MST3K ended up doing seven seasons total between The Comedy Channel and its later incarnation of Comedy Central.  CC eventually gave it the boot, at which time SyFy the Sci Fi Channel was kind enough to give it a home for another three.  The show even got its own feature film!  Unfortunately, even that wasn’t enough to keep the show on the air, and after 10 seasons MST3K was done.

But…

You can’t keep the MSTies down.  Over the past several years, MST3K is still as popular as ever, as evidenced by the impressive sales of each DVD set that comes out.  And the creative minds involved with Mystery Science Theater 3000 have also remained active.  Over the past few years, several of the former cast members of MST3K have continued MSTing movies for the amusement of fans everywhere with new stuff like Riff Trax, The Film Crew and Cinematic Titanic.  While two of them continue the grand tradition of riffing on old b-movie stinkers, one of them has gone outside the box a bit to allow fans the chance to see what riffing would be like with the mainstream movies they love or love to hate.

I’ll give you a hint – I’ve been dropped a variation of their name a couple of times in the last sentence.

Riff Trax

Riff Trax was created by Mike Nelson, the guy who replaced Joel Hodgson part way though the show during the Comedy Central days.  As I said before, Riff Trax steps outside the box (office) a bit by not being a show where you watch a couple of guys peanut-gallery a bad movie.  No – instead what you get is an audio file of a couple of guys making fun of a movie you may already own or be renting.  Mike (and whoever decides to riff with him that day) watch mainstream movies like The Matrix or Daredevil and record their riffing into an audio file that you can play while you watch the same movie in the privacy of your own home.  This not only gets around the issue of having to pay movie rights, but it also allows fans to see what MST3K could have been like if they could do popular films.

Do you know where I was going with all this?  Ha – neither do I.  Okay, yes I do.  My whole point to this installment was to share my excitement over the fact that Mike Nelson is doing Riff Trax live in Tennessee on August 20th.  The movie?  Plan 9 From Outer Space.  Accompanied by his fellow MSTies Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, this installment of Riff Trax will be broadcast to theaters all over the country.  If you are a fan of any of the above-mentioned shows, you’ll want to check this out.  Tickets are already available here (http://www.ncm.com/Fathom/Comedy/RiffTrax.aspx).

I plan on going to the local showing in my area.  Hopefully it won’t involve being shot into space.

If you’re wondering how the Don eats and breathes, and other science facts – it’s all CG.

Webcomic Review: Questionable Content

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Sometimes you’ve just gotta tackle the deepest questions of the Universe.

This isn’t one of those times.

So, now that you’re surely caught up on the archives of the previous two webcomics reviewed here, it’s time to bustle along. My bustle, please! (NOTE: No one actually wants to see me wearing a bustle.)

This time, we have Questionable Content, a Monday-through-Friday comic by Jeph Jacques (rhymes with “Dax”…you know, as in Jadzia? We’re all geeks here, right?) The title alone should give you some hints that the subject of this week’s review is probably not something you want to bring up to your boss, your kids, or your place of worship. Unless all of the preceding are really freakin’ cool.

This hilarious little ditty is a slice-of-life webcomic that details the normal day-to-day goings-on of its cast. Amongst its characters are the son of a famous dominatrix, an obsessive-compulsive object-counter who makes the title character of USA’s Monk look like a well-adjusted individual, and a sentient computer whose favourite hobby is downloading, well, “questionable content” onto his hard drive. The comic also features such perfectly normal events as random bouts of formal dress and introduces many of us to the should-be-an-Olympic sport of Speed Beer. (I don’t drink it, but I’d watch it!)

Yep. Totally normal day-to-day goings-on.

The art’s instantly recognizable; once you’re familiar with Jacques’s style, you’ll recognize it wherever you see it. I love how Jacques isn’t afraid to draw characters with more normal body types as well, rather than the idealized impossible bodies and faces we see far too much of in popular media. If a character has a physical flaw in Questionable Content, you’ll usually see it. And this comic is the perfect example of one of my favourite things about many independent artists–watching how their work evolves over time, rather than being a refined product from the start that never changes. Look at how Questionable Content’s style has changed since the comic’s launch in 2003:

First strip!
Strip #200!
Strip #300!
Strip #450!
Strip #800!
How the strip looks today! (Okay, so that’s just another link to the main page. Still.)

And if any panel in any strip has ever completely cracked you up, there’s a good chance that Jacques has made a T-shirt out of it for you to buy at the comic’s store. Questionable Content is one of those ideal rarities in the webcomicking world; Jacques actually makes his living from the comic and the merchandise produced from it. Of course, this just encourages him to keep improving and keep making the comic better and better so we’ll always come back to read again. You don’t hear me complainin’!

One of the possible side effects of making a living off your art is that you may develop a nasty little thing called a “work ethic.” In this comic, you won’t find long hiatuses, frequent “oops, forgot to do an update” messages, or long delays when it was promised the next strip would go up a week ago. If Jacques can’t make a regular update for some reason, you’re treated to funny filler in the form of Yelling Bird. Who, as you might imagine, is a clip-art bird. Who yells. Generally obscenities about how much Jacques sucks, but no topic is sacred, and all topics have me laughing out loud.

Now, it’s traditional for a webcomic to have a gimmick. Most artists opt for either cute talking animals or cute talking machines that are beyond the bounds of current real-world technology. Jacques pounced on the latter, which gives us the AnthroPC’s–sentient, talking, walking computers. These guys’re a constant source of comic relief, as well as a jab at the stereotyped personalities of people who have excessive loyalty to a specific operating system. (The jab at Linux loyalists, as presented by the paranoid, bad-tempered, high-horsed Linux AnthroPC, gives you an idea why I no longer allow Linux distros in my home computers.) There was also a “pet” Roomba at one point that mostly existed in the background and didn’t speak, but it hasn’t put in an appearance for a while.

Of course, I’ve gotta give the human characters their due as well, seein’ as they’re the main driving force of the comic. This is where the story isn’t all fun and games. Or rather, it’s always fun to read, but occasionally serious storylines come up, at which point “games” isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe things. Time passes in the comic, the human characters mature, fall in love, fall out of love, change jobs, lose jobs, worry about where their lives are going, get amusingly tipsy at the local bar, share dark secrets from the past, start bands, get confronted by wandering bears in the middle of town, become secret James Bond-like super-agents, and congregate in a coffee shop where many of the characters work and abuse the customers (make sure you always read the “Today’s Specials” on the chalkboard in the background). The ongoing story is really far much more in-depth than I give credit for here, but telling you the details would be giving away spoilers that would be much more fun for you to read for yourself. Suffice it to say that Jacques’s writing is extremely tight, and most serious information is also important to the ongoing slice-of-life plot.

Any downsides? I honestly can’t complain much. Jacques really knows what he’s doing. In the beginning era, he made a lot of indie-rock references and jokes that appealed to a niche audience, but has since moved on to much broader humour. The only thing in the comic I don’t care for is the character Faye Whitaker, and I freely admit that I seem to be in the minority there, to read the “Your favourite character” threads in the Questionable Content forums.

See, Faye’s tragic secret past is one of the main points of the ongoing story, but the character herself just kinda makes me want to throw half-frozen water balloons at her. She starts out angsty and angry, moves on to wishy-washy and angry, and now she’s confused, mopey, and angry (there is a good reason for part of this, but it would be a spoiler to tell you!) In the early days of the comic, Faye also had the annoying tendency to punch people who’d already proved they were just trying to help her, such as Marten Reed, who was pretty darn self-sacrificing in order to accommodate Faye’s numerous “issues.” Another irking character quirk was her speech pattern near the beginning. She’s originally from Georgia and decided to mask her Southern accent upon moving north to the comic’s location. To hide her accent? She wouldn’t use contractions. I honestly don’t get how that makes any sense. (I spent twenty-five years in the Deep South. My ears tell me it takes a lot more than axing apostrophes to remove an accent, any accent.) Faye’s speech was jarring and distracting during this phase; it read like a robot along the lines of Lieutenant Commander Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Luckily, Faye’s loosened up and welcomed apostrophes back into her life as the comic moves on; now she just needs to “get over herself” and stop acting like an emo teen.

If that piddling little bit is my entire complaint section, I’d say we’re doing really well here! Questionable Content is such a versatile comic, it’ll probably amuse you unless your tastes are really extreme or absurd. And even then…let’s just say that Jacques doesn’t hold back when he wants to make a joke, no matter how out there it is. (Oh, dear lord, why did I have to link THAT ONE.)

Time to go upstairs for my nightly brain-scrubbing, so I’ll see you all next time!

The Adventures of Nerdy Barbie: Duck Lake

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

It’s pretty easy to write a “magical girl” anime.  Take one young girl, add an animal sidekick, some latent magical abilities, a world in crisis, and voila! – you’ve got the basic ingredients for stories like Cardcaptor Sakura, Sailormoon, or Alice 19th.  Enjoyable as these stories are, they become extremely predictable.  Gee, Sailormoon is really the “Princess of the Moon”!?  Didn’t see that one coming!  But as forgivable as these predictable storylines are, sometimes it’s nice to find a “magical girl” anime that actually keeps you guessing until the end.  I’ve found such an anime in the surprisingly intriguing Princess Tutu.

Now, I know what you’re thinking (because I thought the same thing when I first heard the anime’s name) – “Princess Tutu,” probably the story of a ballerina and her happy, sugary friends who dance ballet in a land of sparkles and rainbows while repelling cute semi-evil creatures with attacks that include words like “dazzling” and “pink.”  But despite the name, Princess Tutu is anything but sugary-happy.  Its story has a good mix of comedy and tragedy, all stemming from its ballet roots.

Tutu’s story borrows heavily from a variety of ballet stories.  Each episode contains themes from a specific ballet, usually reflected in the episode’s title.  The character of Princess Tutu (a.k.a. “Duck”), herself, is a mixture of characters from Swan Lake and The Little Mermaid.  Besides the literary references, the characters also use ballet mime – motions that are like a type of ballet sign language – to help express ideas.  Of course, this is all reason enough to watch if you actually enjoy ballet (like me), but even this can’t compare to the real draw of the series – the characters.

It’s so easy for a series to practically hit you over the head and say, “Hey!  See that creepy guy?  You’re supposed to distrust him.  And that cute girl?  Root for her, okay?”  What’s not easy is for characters to morph over the course of a series so that you experience a whole range of emotions with them – fear, loathing, sympathy, admiration, and more.  In Princess Tutu, the character you trust one moment might be the character you hate in the next.  But no matter how many transformations a character may undergo, they’re all surprisingly believable.  These changes also shape the fairytale previews that open each episode.  What begin as allusions to classic ballet stories slowly turn into the real story being revealed with each passing episode; kind of the way the true story is revealed in the movie, Hero.

Just as the characters and story transition smoothly, so do the story’s settings.  In one scene, Princess Tutu is surrounded by the usual comedic school chums and the hijinks that go with them, and in the next, she is in a more reserved and serious world, mindful of the task she has sworn to see fulfilled.  Nothing ever feels rushed or drastically altered.  The pacing of the series as a whole is done well.  Even the ending is carefully set up, helping viewers to understand and make peace with the story’s conclusion.

For me, Princess Tutu is one of those rare series that has characters that come to feel like old friends towards the end.  They make you care enough to want to know what happens to them next while also not wanting to, to prevent the story from ending so soon.  When even the voice actors themselves are moved to tears at the end of the series, you know you’re watching something that had a lot of thought and heart put into it.

You can find the entire series of Princess Tutu for around $35 to $40.  I highly recommend it.  This way, when you start to experience the inevitable “Tutu withdrawal” that comes with the final episode of the series, you can ease the pain by starting back on disc one… Which… I think I might just do.