Hallo again, you Spwuggy kids, you!

The three of you who read this column probably noticed the lack of updates last week. The short version is, when the temperature in the computer room is over 85°F, I don’t risk overheating the system by turning it on. Luckily, the responsible central air unit has been fixed, and we’re now back in business!

Let’s get right down to it with a newish feature I’d been wanting to implement since I first started writing for Spwug: MORE PURTY PICKCHURS. If my focus here is supposedly on webcomics, shouldn’t this column be more visual too? I kept putting it off because I had no working tablet or scanner. Finally, I had enough of waiting and started drawing in Photoshop.

After an hour of very painful hand-crabbing from gripping an ancient, unresponsive mouse, I remembered why I had put off drawing on the computer. But it was too late to stop, and you can now reap the dubious rewards of my agonizing labour! Everyone loves MS Paint-style pictures, right? So, let’s get started.

There’s a little television show called Stargate Universe. I doubt anyone here has heard of it. It’s not like geeks ever come to Spwug or anything. But if you have heard of this TV series that I understand is “science fiction”, you probably know that it’s not doing too well compared to its predecessors in the Stargate franchise. Fan and critic complaints range from too much drama, to not enough action, to “Syfy Channel sucks” (a very valid complaint), to excessive shaky-cam, to “Where the heck are all the aliens?!”

I agree with all of the above plus some. If my housemate didn’t keep recording this show on the DVR box, I wouldn’t have watched it past the first few episodes. But instead of just griping, I’ve decided to offer up some suggestions to make the show better. Get your pencils out and take notes, SGU writers. There’ll be a test on this later!

1: More alien action, please! In two seasons so far, we’ve had, what? Labrador Retriever-sized spiders in two episodes. A sandstorm that may or may not have actually been sentient. Neither one showed any sign of anything resembling intelligence compatible with that of the human characters (despite the fact that human intelligence also seems to be a lacking quality in the show, so you’d think they’d understand one another). Though I have this theory that the spiders weren’t REALLY bloodthirsty monsters trying to eat the faces of the stranded humans. They were just lonely and wanted new friends.

Then there was T-Rex’s doughier cousin for about fifteen seconds. I still don’t get why Scott wasted ammo and time shooting at the thing when he could’ve just escaped through the Stargate. Maybe the dino reminded him of his shameful Weight Watchers days.

The only intelligent aliens of note so far have been the anorexic “blues” that keep trying to steal the ship Destiny away from its human crew (who, it could be argued, stole the ship from the ascended Ancients who made it). They really haven’t done anything else of interest so far, unless you count competitive non-eating.

2: The military and civilians aboard Destiny should be allowed to decorate the ship, or at least their respective quarters. Seriously, now. Every single scene aboard the ship takes place in a setting of drab greys and the occasional blue-grey light. No wonder all anyone does is fight and/or cry. I’m surprised half the crew hasn’t committed suicide already. A little colour goes a long way, folks. Maybe some throw rugs and dried flowers. A splash of paint, a few family photos lining the halls, and you go from stranded victims to homeowners of the biggest and most fashionable estate known to mankind!

3: Dr. Nicholas Rush needs to decide which team he supports. I mean, come on, Nicky-baby! This sympathetic-villain-in-one-episode, antihero-in-the-next stuff was old last season. At least he and Colonel Young are no longer at each other’s throats every five minutes. (Kudos for the next pic go out to housemate Thoradin, whose idea of a D&D setting for Young and Rush was far more amusing than my original pic of Rush shouting about how he was going to hijack the ship’s systems to obey only him and then give everyone onboard the puppies he and his dead wife never got to have.) For some reason, this scene works best in my head in stick-figure format.

4: The final suggestion doesn’t need pictorial accompaniment. To save the Stargate franchise, Syfy should go back in time, NOT cancel Stargate SG-1, NOT cut its budget, and watch the money come rolling in. But we all know Syfy can’t do anything sensible, time travel or no. This is why The Lost Room still has never moved beyond a pilot miniseries.

Did you pay attention, Stargate Universe writers? I may have just saved your show there.

That’s it for this week. Tune in next time, when we may or may not have more hand/mouse-drawn pictures. It really depends upon how masochistic I’m feeling. You’ll just have to come see to find out!

Greetings, Luxan warriors!

One of the things that always makes my uber-geeky self squee like a simpleton on a merry-go-round are crossovers.  Take two or more characters from different properties and toss them into a playground together to let them have at it and I’m an extremely happy camper.

I’ve been a fan of the crossover ever since my first Kenner Stormtrooper (no, not yesterday).  Name the medium and I can give you an example of a crossover that just blew my mind.  Even if it was something I wasn’t an avid follower of, if characters from two separate universes were banging heads I was there to see it:

TV: From “Simon & Simon” and “Magnum PI” crossing over to “Ally MacBeal” and “The Practice” to “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood” (it counts), I’ve been all over the boob tube and have enjoyed the geekgasms that were served by the normally stuffy networks.

Movies: Despite how awful Alien vs. Predator was, I still appreciated the gesture.  And with Nick Fury’s cameo in Iron Man and Stark’s cameo in The Incredible Hulk, my appetite has been whetted for what’s to come with the rest of the Marvel pantheon’s transition to film.

Comics: Probably where it all began for me.  From the humble beginnings where Hulk threw down against the Fantastic Four or Daredevil and Spidey would team up to full company crossovers like Supes and Spidey or Spawn and Batman, comic book continue to be the top dog when it comes to crossover events.  And I continue to go broke feeding the addiction.

Video Games:  Another medium that has been doing crossovers for most of its life.  Recently the crossover phenomenon has had a major resurgence, with Sonic and Solid Snake showing up in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Disney and Square characters teaming up against shadowy baddies in the Kingdom Hearts games, or the ever popular Marvel vs. Capcom series, which is finally getting a new installment after a ten year hiatus.  I’m just as much a sucker for these crossovers as I am for any of the others mentioned above.

This leads me to the latest entry to the concept.  It’s funny that I list video games last, as it provides the perfect segue way to my latest obsession.  Created by a new game and movie developer called Exploding Rabbit, this game could be the crossover to end all 8-bit crossovers.

At the very least, it will make a lot of fanboys (including me) extremely happy.

So, what do you get when you take what is widely considered one of the greatest NES games of all time and add a few characters from other series that proved to be just as popular in the 8-bit universe?

You get Super Mario Bros. Crossover.

This game is frikkin’ awesome!  A completely flash-based recreation of the original Super Mario Bros., this game kicks it up several notches by allowing you to play, not only as Mario, but as Megaman, Simon Belmont, Link, Samus, or Bill from Contra.  Each character pretty much operates just like they would in their home game, but modified to work within the mechanics of the Super Mario Bros. universe.  For example, Link starts off with the weakest sword, tunic and boomerang.  Mushroom him up?  He now has his red tunic and medium attack sword.  Give him a slice of fire flower pie?  He now has his blue tunic, most powerful sword (and it shoots!), and the extended boomerang.  All of the characters work based on the same mechanic, which turns out to be quite genius in conception.

I don’t want to give too much away, as you really need to play this thing.  One note: the game as is works only with the keyboard.  But, since playing with a keyboard sucks, there is a FAQ that tell you where to find a program you can download that will allow you to map a controller to the appropriate keys.

That said, I think I’ve imparted enough wisdom for today.  You can play the game for yourself by going to the Exploding Rabbit website.

Go, and see the wonders I have shown you…

The Don’s princess is in another castle.  There’s a restraining order…

Greetings, Cosby Kids!

It’s incredible whenever new advancements are made in science.  The little kid in me who grew up thinking we would be going to Mars and beyond, or have flying cars, or have perfected artificial intelligence always gets a little excited whenever I actually see something that was previously science fiction become science fact.

But at the same time, that little kid’s heart always dies a little inside when those same discoveries are made.  Maybe it’s because in the grand scheme of things even our biggest advancements still fall under the shadow of the reality that we still have a long way to go to achieve the things the child in me thought he would get to see in his lifetime.  For every successfully cloned sheep, dark matter discovery, or sub-atomic particle that travels backward in time, there’s still the realization that we have yet to travel outside our own solar system, effectively slow the aging process, or even cure the common cold.

But this week?  This week the Saturday morning cartoon-watching, cereal-eating, pajama-wearing me from yesteryear is looking on wide-eyed and in wonder – a Japanese/US research team has created a molecular computer that can handle complex computations like a computer, yet functions more like a real brain. It can even heal and repair itself when it has a problem.

Even more astounding is that the computer is only two molecules thick.

This is pretty mind-blowing stuff.  I mean, just around thirty years ago we were still in our computer infancy.  Atari was the big console of the time.  Arcades still existed to give gamers young and old a chance to play the latest creations (with ash trays!).  William Shatner was shilling for the Commodore Vic-20, the “wonder computer of the 1980s” while any system that was designed for heavy computations still took up quite a bit of room space and most likely involved reel-to-reel tape for data recording.

Yet, only thirty years later we’ve achieved something that by 1980s standards would still be a dream in the distance.  Only it’s not quite that distant.  It’s here.  Now.

Immediate images of Skynet rising to smite us all aside, this is one of those major steps forward in science that has me hopeful and excited for what’s to come in our immediate future, despite the fact that it sometimes seems like our society’s progress seems a little uneven at times.  Achievements like this help to remind me that though it sometimes seems like the fantastical science we see in our favorite fiction may not become a reality within our lifetimes, occasionally we get to see the extraordinary the very next day.  We may not have a colony on the moon yet or mastered teleportation, but right now we are one step closer to creating Data.

Let’s hope it isn’t Lore.

The Don blinded himself with science, then got the hiccups.

…this week has hit me with its best shot.  And won.  I was already coming out of the weekend exhausted, but then I got Jodie Fostered on the pinball machine table by a couple other things this week.  Long story short (too late), no major article this week.

But as always I feel guilty if I leave you all with nothing, so I will at least share with you the reason why I came out of the weekend exhausted.  One of my director friends had a movie premiere this past Saturday for a “white trash” horror flick he made called The Creightonville Terror.  And for those of you who have read my previous articles on the site (thanks for the support, Brock!), you’ll remember that I got my wish fulfilled of becoming a horror show host by the name of Dr. Ghoulie:

The premiere was a huge success, Dr. Ghoulie was a hit with the crowd, and the after-party was three shades of incredible.  The premiere itself even ended with an announcement: Dr. Ghoulie is getting his own movie.  Yes – in the tradition of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, I get to headline my own low budget scare flick as a horror show host character.

It doesn’t get any better than this.  It certainly helps take the edge off of how this week has been so far.

And now, I leave you with one of the sponsors of the premiere:

Don’t you hate it when something you love just…stops with no resolution? Webcomic fans know this pain all too well. Your favourite webcomic is chugging along, picking up fans right and left, in the middle of an epically epic storyline, when suddenly…a month goes by with no updates. Then two months. Then six. The artist puts up a brief blog post that says, “Being swamped by work/school/family, but we’ll be back soon!”

A year later, the site is inhabited only by crickets. It sits there, unchanging, for many more years, or until the server deletes the page. The webcomic is only ever again mentioned in forum discussions where people ask, “Whatever happened to such-and-such comic?”

In the spring, a young geek’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of loss. Let’s look at a few of the fallen, and sometimes missing, friends that I would have loved to see get a proper ending. We’ll be doing this again later, by the way. I have a pretty long list of comics I used to read that stopped without ending, and they make for great nostalgia columns, eh? Plus, there are other unfortunate webcomics being abandoned all the time….

5ideways by K. Sandra Fuhr – This supernatural apocalyptic thriller started off with a strong story and intriguing characters in 2005, only to taper off with updates as Real Life continued to eat away at the artist’s free time. By 2008, the comic was officially on hiatus, and the site sat largely untouched until November 18, 2008, when a “5ideways will return soon” graphic was tossed up on the front page. “Soon” was a bit of a stretch, sadly, as there have been no updates since then. However, the extremely talented creator didn’t just up and abandon webcomics completely. If her name sounds familiar, that’s because you may already have read/be reading her other works: Boy Meets Boy (completed), Friendly Hostility (completed, and reviewed here), and Other People’s Business (ongoing, and blurbed about at the bottom of this page).

Absurd Notions/Why the Long Face, both by Kevin Pease – The first, running from 1999 to 2007, focused on the work and play misadventures of a group of young-adult friends with varied hobbies (though they all seemed to enjoy tabletop gaming) and the occasional bout of mad science. You know, what has since become a staple of webcomics. The second ran from 2003 to 2007 and focused on the creator’s musings about life in general. Both trickled to a halt around the same time (with Absurd Notions in the middle of a story). Sometime in 2008 or 2009, I asked Pease about further updates. He mentioned that he didn’t intend to drop his comics completely, but it looks like if that’s still true, we’ll be waiting a while longer for updates. A certain Spwug webcomic writer can keep hoping!

Chrono Trigger Rip-Off (at least they’re honest!) by Mark and Tom (and possibly someone else; it’s not too clear) – Sprite comics are reviled by art elitists for not using original art, but I LIKE sprite strips. LOVE them, even. I love sprite art and everything you can do with it. I love sprites being used for tributes and parodies of the games they come from. This webcomic did all that. Sprite comics are all over now, and the whole “Video game sprites cause mayhem while behaving in naughty ways that are totally out of character with how they behave in their canon” thing is done and overdone, and often done wrong. Chrono Trigger Rip-Off isn’t exactly a unique entity now, but back when I found it (likely pre-2001, but the archives only go back to January of that year), sprite comics were a fairly shiny new concept for me. I got a lot of good laughs out of this comic and enjoyed the fact that it even had a plot. And while there’s nothing unique about the strip by today’s standards, I still regret that it died out in 2004 with its story unfinished.

RPG World by Ian Jones-Quartey – You just can’t talk about unfinished business in webcomics without invoking the granddaddy of them all. RPG World went from a superstar of webcomics to a lesson in how NOT to end a story during its final battle. (The lesson is: DON’T STOP UPDATING DURING THE FINAL BATTLE.) Remember that? This webcomic started off strong in 2000. It updated regularly, the story kept getting better and better, Cherry’s butt kept getting bigger and bigger, the audience grew steadily–even friends who otherwise never read webcomics read RPG World. Every breath was bated as the story blazed into its climax. Beloved characters were killed. World-altering secrets were revealed. The final boss was confronted. The heroes geared up for the greatest fight in history. And then…nothing. In 2005, the comic ground to a halt. It tried to defibrillate itself with fillers and side stories on very sporadic occasions until June 2007. Finally, the artist admitted what the audience already knew; he had no intention of completing the story. He was too busy, he’d lost interest, didn’t like seeing his old art, etc., etc….

Recently, he put out the word that he felt bad for leaving the audience in the lurch and wanted to find a new artist to take his scripts and finish the story. I’d dearly love to see that, but since then, there’s been no word on finding a new artist. The site has been dead for so long that I don’t know if anyone who could help even saw his request for a new artist. But if you’re interested, please contact him at his site. I selfishly want to see RPG World finally completed! And if you want to know what eventually helped take Ian’s time away from the comic, watch this show called The Venture Bros. that he’s worked on for a few years. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it. I think it’s about siblings who become business entrepreneurs. Also, something about butterflies. Maybe they fund a living butterfly museum together or something. I don’t know. (And if you think I’m being serious here, let’s talk bridges.)

Well, that’s enough out of me for now. I still hope to someday see these old loves of mine completed, before being shoved back in the shoeboxes of the Internet. If there’s a webcomic you enjoyed that ended prematurely, let me know. I’m seeking more stalled comics for future installments!

Greetings, Lollipop Guild!

This week is a busy week for me.  This weekend I’ve got hosting duties as horror show host Dr. Ghoulie for the premiere of a “white trash” horror flick made by a friend of mine called The Creightonville Terror in Luray, Virginia.

All of my focus this week has been on prepping for that, so I haven’t really had the ability to direct my attention to much else.  Heck, even my article on CHUD this week was a reprint of one of my earlier efforts here (since I’m horror show hosting this weekend, my “Creature Feature” article was perfect).

But, you know me (maybe).  I feel guilty if I don’t at least offer you all something to tide you over until I can return full force (has that actually happened yet?).  And since I’ve been able to squeeze some time in here and there to play the new game I bought this past weekend, I figured I would offer you my thoughts (my apologies).

I managed to pick up the latest racing game efforts by Sega this past Saturday – Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing.  After playing the demo, I was having enough fun to justify the purchase.  After putting in a few couch-hours on this sucker, I’m convinced that decision was a good one.

Of course, one of the first questions to pop up is most likely “How does this compare to Mario Kart?  The second question to follow that one is generally “Why are you such a tool?”  In the interest of time and my attempt to choke back tears, I’ll only be covering the first question.

Upon first playing the game, it’s completely obvious that All-Stars rips of Mario Kart almost completely.  In fact, you may almost feel like you’re playing some alternate universe version of the popular Nintendo series that just happens to include Sega characters (hey, it’s not out of the realm of possibility – look at Super Smash Bros. Brawl).  I mean, you have different-themed “cup” races and timed trial races, different characters from across Sega’s library of games in different vehicles with various capabilities, drift and start boosts, battle modes, and the coup de grace – question-marked item boxes spread out throughout the track that allow you to gain items for use on yourself or against other players.  It’s like someone did a cut-and-paste and just swapped out characters.

The thing is, despite the cloned aspects of All-Stars, the game still manages to stand out on its own.  Instead of having to accomplish certain feats and tricks to unlock characters and karts, Sega based their game on a “Sega Miles” system.  The more you race in the different events, the more miles you can earn.  These can then be used to purchase characters, tracks, and music.  This makes things a little less frustrating for purists who want to unlock everything in the game but feel repeatedly defeated by some unlockables that are irritatingly difficult to achieve.

Another difference is that Sega has included “missions” – a series of single races where the player has an objective that they need to complete in each race.  After playing a couple of these, I kind of like the idea.  It adds a little more variety to the standard “three laps to the goal” tracks.

I think the best feature All-Stars has over Mario Kart is a difficulty setting.  One thing that had me cursing to the point of making sailors blush was that the latest Nintendo offering seemed to have amped up the challenge factor to almost eleven.  There were times when I swear there was no way I could win a race, as every other NPC had agreed off-screen to target me and me alone with every item they could get their hands on.  As soon as that light turned green I was bombarded with turtle shells and banana peels galore.  How I ever made it to the finish line is still a mystery to me to this day.  But, with All-Stars, if the racing seems a little too cut-throat for your tastes, simply switch to “Beginner” mode.  Now you’re playing with power (oops!).

One of the downsides to this game in comparison to its Nintendo cousin is that each character only has one vehicle that they come with.  Not really a deal-breaker, per se, but when you’ve been spoiled rotten by the fact that each character in Mario Kart has multiple karts or motor cycles that they can tool around in, being stuck with one option for Sonic or Alex Kidd is a slight disappointment.  I guess the nice balance to that is the fact that All-Stars will be offering character DLCs to keep the variety appeal.

Finally, I want to mention the icing on the cake for me, something that elevates this game slightly above Mario Kart – zombie areas.  Yes, race fans, there are three tracks in the game that come out of The House of the Dead series.  That means there are zombies walking around while you race.  Sure – you can hit them, but they’ll cause you to spin out (unless you do a speed boost through them – fun!).  And to add the cherry on top, there is a zombie couple you can select to race as, rocking the engine revs in a monster hot rod that looks like something out of “The Munsters”.  I mean, come on.  Zombies.  You had me at “Braaaaains…”

All of these elements combined make for a well crafted and fun racing game.  In fact, despite the fact that I generally favor the plumber to the hedgehog, the more I play All-Stars (my favorite racer is Shadow the Hedgehog on his gnarly Harley), the more I’m inclined to say “Mario who?”

Please don’t tell him I said that.

The Don’s idea of Super Sonic is upscaling his meal at the fast food place.

Greetings, Pumpkinheads!!

Just when you thought I was finished talking about new television shows until fall (actually, I thought I was too), two more brilliant programs re-emerged on the RGB (RGBY if you’re George Takei) landscape this past week.  And since I love both of them, I had to share them with you.

It’s like an Easter miracle!

“Ashes to Ashes”

Anyone familiar with the British hit series “Life on Mars” (as opposed to the less-than-stellar US version that came out in 2008) also knows about the spin-off series “Ashes to Ashes”.  Where “Mars” was about a present day UK detective (Sam Tyler) who falls into a coma and wakes up in the 1970s, “Ashes” is about the police therapist assigned to Sam’s case who also falls into a coma when she is shot in the head by a criminal.  She, however, wakes up in the 1980s.  Both shows play up their combo sci-fi/period cop show elements well.  But whereas “Mars” had a more dour and subdued tone, “Ashes” plays more bright and flashy.  Of course both make total sense since they are each reflections of the decade they are set in.  Though “Ashes” doesn’t quite have the gravitas that “Mars” had, I still find myself enjoying the hell out of this show.  The premise fascinates me, and with the exception of the main protagonist – Alex Drake – a couple of the characters from the previous show carry over.  And one in particular makes it all worthwhile:

DCI Gene Hunt.

Philip Glenister is just so much fun to watch playing this tough-as-nails blowhard who has no problems playing things off-book.  His is a character that sets off a million whistles in a politically correct environment, but you can’t help but root for him.

“Ashes to Ashes” is in its third series (seasons are called series over there, like fries are called chips, chips are called crisps, and Americans are called confused), which will also be its last.  I actually don’t mind that.  I admire the Brits for being able to pull together serials that have a definite beginning, middle, and end.  It makes for less filler episodes.  Though I will be sad when this series reaches its final conclusion, I really hope it ends with a reappearance by Sam Tyler.

“Doctor Who”

I shouldn’t have to tell you about “Doctor Who”.  The only way you could possibly be unaware of the existence of “Doctor Who” is if you were grown in a clone farm and released yesterday (sorry, Gary821).

I was first hooked onto this show back when I was a kid.  It aired on our local PBS station.  Unfortunately, PBS only aired the Tom Baker run (fourth Doctor), which was already out of date by the time I was watching in the early 80s.  Still, I found the show to be ripe with low-budget charms, and the Doctor was nothing short of charismatic.  In fact, as a prime example of the well-known side-effect of becoming a “Doctor Who” fan, my first Doctor became my favorite.  I would eventually get to see episodes from all the different Doctors, but Baker was always my fave.

Until a couple of years ago.  When “Doctor Who” came back to televisions in 2005 after a sixteen year absence (with a brief pit stop over here in the US in 1996 for a horribly-done movie that is considered canon), Christopher Eccleston ushered in a new era of Doctors.  I liked his portrayal a lot, but after only doing one series there was just no way to see just how well he could have made the role his own.

Bring in his replacement – David Tennant – regenerating in as the tenth incarnation (I love the fact that David’s nickname of Tennie works on two levels).  I had a hard time warming up to him at first, but once he managed to get comfy in his skin he was quite a brilliant Doctor, quickly replacing Baker as my favorite (and that wasn’t as easy a feat to accomplish as you might think).  Combining wide-eyed wonder with a manic streak, a cheeky sense of humor and a smidge of darkness underneath, Tennant gave us a well-rounded and fun, yet dramatic take on the Time Lord.

Sadly, Tennant finally stepped down at the end of last year with the last of his 2009 specials.  As I’ve reported before, his replacement was a relatively unknown bloke by the name of Matt Smith.  The youngest actor to date to ever slip on the Time Lord’s footwear, Matt’s Doctor debuted this past weekend in the UK.  Despite my love for Tennie, I was curious and intrigued by the new guy.  I was definitely looking forward to what he would bring to the character.

I was not disappointed.  At all.  Bringing a little bit of Troughton’s Doctor into his personality, Smith plays the “odd Doctor” to the hilt, more so than either Tennant or Eccleston did.  He’s quirky, he’s cheeky, and his complete demeanor just seems to run off-kilter to the world(s) around him.

And I like it.  I don’t know that he’ll have the same impact on me that the tenth incarnation had, but never say never.  I mean, I never expected any Doctor to dethrone my affection for Tom Baker’s.  Am I excited to see what else he’s got up his sleeve?  Oh, abso-flogging-lutely.  He’s going to be a fun Doctor to have adventures with.  And with Steven Moffat (arguably the best writer the new serials have had) now the head writer of the show, “Doctor Who” has the potential to be the best it’s ever been.  I eagerly anticipate each episode.  And though I’m looking forward to where the show goes from here, I still miss Tennant.  It will take quite a bit to make me say “David who?”

On the other hand, the Doctor’s new companion does have me asking “Rose whatnow?”  Red-headed, strong-willed, smartly-written, Scottish cuties for the win!

The Don is only on his third regeneration.  He leads a boring life, and the last two regens were due to stupid accidents.

Greetings, Facehuggers!

As I mentioned to you all last week, I have turned another year older.  Though my physical age may continue to run ahead of me, my essence remains ensconced within a youthful visage, and my interests continue to dwell within a timeless epoch.

Simply put – I’m getting older, but I still love things from my youth.

Case in point, as much as I love modern day video gaming (and I do love me some modern day video gaming), I’m still very much a fan of the old school – Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Mr. Do…  Those are games that, no matter what the new hotness is that I am currently playing on my PS3, I can go back to and play anytime and still get just as much enjoyment out of them now as I did when I first put a quarter in the coin slot back when arcades were still all the rage (I miss arcades).  The classics never get old to me.  And when emulators first became available many moons ago, I went giddy with glee at the thought of being able to play my favorite arcade classics on my PC at home.

Now, here we are in the Year of Our Monolith, and one of the things that has always been a minor obstacle in my enjoyment of classic arcadia has been the inability to play them wherever I go.  Arcades have all but dried up, and the ones that still exist only fill a certain quota – some fighting games, some shooter games, some racing games, a DDR game or two, and some silly, little ticket-spewers.  I have a laptop, and that’s portable… but only to an extent.  Sure, I can play them in my hotel room or at a friend’s house if I bring lappy with me, but I couldn’t just fire up the ol’ MAME while waiting to be seated at an Olive Garden.

Until now.

One of the coolest gifts I got for my birthday was a handy-dandy little portable device called the GP2X WIZ.  This sucker is like a portable slice of love, as it can play any emulator from Atari to Commodore 64 all the way up to PS1.  In short – this thing rocks!

And that isn’t even half of it.  It does tons more!  Not only can it play all those different emulators, but it can also function as an e-book reader, a music player, a picture viewer, a movie viewer, a planner, and a digital recording device.  With all that I’m rather surpised that it doesn’t also grant wishes.  Trust me, it doesn’t.  I tried rubbing it, but to no avail.

Now, it’s a wee bit pricey, but it’s really worth it if you want to save up for it.  It includes a gig of drive space, but you can also throw games and emulators on any size SD card and toss that in there as well.  This thing is truly a remarkable device.  I’ve already slapped three different emulators on a two gig card and have been spending a lot of time playing all my favorite classics writing articles for you fine folk.

That said, I should probably get back to playing Pac-Man writing more writings for the readers of said writings.  In the meantime, I leave you with the other, cool, geeky item I got for my latest trip around Sol:

I certainly won’t freeze before I reach the first marker.

The Don thought they smelled bad on every side.

Greetings, Boxcar Children!

I’m kind of taking the week off (but not really) since my birthday is this weekend.  That’s right, everyone – The Don wasn’t actually created in a test tube or grown in the forest of Pernalia.

Nope, I am 100 percent pure, old fashioned, home-grown human. Born free. Right here in the real world.

So, to celebrate being on this ball of rock and water for thirty-five revolutions around the sun, I’m going to list a couple of great geekeries that came out Anno Donini:

Jaws

One of the greatest horror films of all time, and the movie that put director Steven Spielberg on the map.  This movie’s influence was so impressive, that it literally forced an entire generation to rethink going “back into the water” (yes, I know that’s from Jaws 2, but I’m making a point).  With an impressive cast, the perfect amount of tension, and a cunning play on our fears, Jaws managed to work despite the fact that the shark quite often didn’t.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The film that started a cult phenomenon (doot-doo doo-doo-doot!).  Already a stage show by this time, the film opened to lackluster success.  But over time, Rocky Horror became something more.  Now known as the longest-running theatrical release in history, the movie continues to be shown regularly all over the world.  It’s even spawned its own culture.  Impressive for a movie about a guy wearing fishnets.

Betamax

Ah, poor Betamax – the little videotape that couldn’t.  Sony introduced the first home video system using this technology in 1975 with a price tag of over $2000.  Sadly, this would lead to the first in many “format wars” that would occur over the next thirty-five years.  Despite a higher quality in picture and sound, Beta’s smaller capacity caused it to lose to VHS (also, the porn industry chose VHS over Beta).  But in an interesting twist, most news channels around the country that haven’t gone full digital still use Beta tapes.

Musical Notes

Alice Cooper releases his first solo album – “Welcome to My Nightmare”, a concept album that takes the listener through the nightmares of a boy named Steven.  The stage show is considered one of the biggest stage spectacles of that decade.  And Drew Struzan, most notable for his movie poster work, designs the album cover.

Iron Maiden forms.  My friend Dan Taraschke, still a toddler at the time, starts rocking out for what seems like no reason.  He would find out later in life what exactly happened, helping to form the metal man he would one day become.

Peter Gabriel leaves Genesis.  Oddly, both end up doing better career-wise.  Fans of the original line-up are still butt-hurt to this day.

Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” hits number one in the charts.  Wayne’s World fans have to wait seventeen years to find out what all the hubbub is about.

The Pearly Gates

The Altair 8800 is released, introducing the first microcomputer.  Bill Gates and Paul Allen develop the programming language BASIC and start a little company that, for some reason, never went anywhere called Micro Soft.  I wonder what happened to those guys.

“Live, From New York…”

Saturday Night Live debuted in October under the name “NBC’s Saturday Night”.  Featuring a much looser format, the show featured its original “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” in comedy skits that poked fun at pop culture, politics, and pretty much everything else, as well as more musical segments, stand up, and even a segment that featured new Muppets created by Jim Henson.  The first episode was hosted by comic legend George Carlin, with first appearance by Andy Kaufman.  The show continues to this day, much to the surprise of a lot of people.

Blip…Blip…

Atari released its first console game through Sears – PONG!  My parents actually owned one of the original consoles, and at the time it was some innovative stuff.  Of course, attention spans were a lot longer back in the seventies, so a game where a white dot bounces back and forth between two white lines could entertain someone for quite a long time.  Nowadays, anything less than tons of blood, boobs and hundreds of hours of gameplay is considered a baby’s toy.

That’s all I got for this week.  Yes, I know there are probably plenty more I could have included, but these are the ones that stand out most to me.  Oh, and as an added bonus, you can now find me on movie website CHUD!  I’ve recently been taken on as one of the official CHUD Bloggers, so if you can stomach more than a dose of me a week, you can find more entries there.  In fact, I already have an entry up this week!

Now, as the thirty-five year old in me would say – “Get off my lawn!”

The Don needs a warm glass of milk and a nap.

Greetings, Popples!!

I dunno what it is, but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about TRON: Legacy.  Between the viral marketing, watching the original a couple of weekends ago with Krellion, and the latest trailer that I shared with you last week, the new film has quickly become one of my most-highly anticipated releases of 2010.  I’ve even made screencaps (horizontal Olivia Wilde on a glowing couch for the win!) from the trailer to use as wallpaper for my laptop.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t even come out until mid-December.

Great Scott!

It hasn’t helped that details on the film have been few and far between.  That is, until recently…

A couple of days ago, Quint at Ain’t It Cool News was finally able to post a portion of his experiences at a press junket for the film that he attended last year.  Within that report he was able to share a slew of juicy little nuggets about the film.  There are a few of them that have particularly piqued my interest:

Clu is back. And he isn’t quite the good guy we saw in the first film.  Producer Sean Bailey describes him as “Clu version 2.0”.  Current buzz is that he may actually be the one running things in the computer world this time around, not modern Flynn.  Either way, 1982 Jeff Bridges looks incredible, and we may just see a showdown between both Flynns.  You have to be some kind of crazy to not want to see that happen in the new film.

The new TRON suits are a completely new design. For anyone who has seen and remembers the first film, in order to get the glowy circuitry effects on the original outfits, each actor wore a white suit with the circuitry design stenciled on.  All of the computer world scenes were shot in black and white, with the light effects added in post through rotoscoping.  This made for a unique and cool effect.  The new suits are actually black rubber with the lighting effects done in real time on the suits themselves.  This is achieved through a new, rubberized lamp that is flexible enough to move with the wearer.  The actors actually light up during filming.  This is necessary because the computer world scenes are being shot in 3D, and rotoscoping is difficult to add to a 3D shot in post-production.  Frankly, the live lighting is one of the aspects of the new film the really gets me excited.  We’re already seeing animated light-up T-shirts and other apparel on geek sites and in pop culture stores.  How soon before clothing stores start incorporating the flexi-lamp tech into their merchandise?

The color-coding has been updated. In the original film, it was more or less established that the good guys were blue and the bad guys were red/orange.  In the original screen-play for TRON, the good guys were yellow while the villains were blue.  Shortly after the film was shot, this was changed to the red/blue distinctions.  But if you notice, there are a couple of shots in the first film that still reflect the old color scheme.  In Legacy, the color palette for the goods and bads have been updated, almost in an amalgam of the conflicting choices in the first movie: evil is represented by oranges and yellows, while the protagonists are highlighted by whites, greens and blues.  I think this will be one of the things that symbolizes the evolution Encom’s computer world has gone through since the events of the first film almost thirty years prior.

TRON the game exists in the movie universe. A friend of mine watched the trailer the other day and was a little irked that Flynn’s son discovers a hidden room behind a TRON game cabinet.  Problem was, there was never a TRON game in the original film.  TRON was the name of Alan’s program, to be used as a security program.  And to some degree, my friend is correct.  However, before all of my fellow geeks cry out in geek terror over such a frivolous and irresponsible error on the side of meta, check out the official Encom website.  There is a timeline of events established that incorporate the first and second film, as well as all the events before and in between.  According to the timeline, Flynn did indeed create a TRON game a year after the events that occurred in the first film.  It apparently became an even bigger hit than Space Paranoids, Flynn’s previous gaming success.  So, relax.  It looks like the writers did their homework.  You can have your meta and play it too.

The computer world in the film is an isolated net. If you remember from the first movie, the world of TRON was a private network on Encom’s mainframe.  The MCP at one point even told his user Dillinger that he wanted access to the mainframes of each country’s government so he could run things better.  According to the info made available at the press junket, Legacy’s computer world is also an isolated net created by Flynn and hosted on 1989 servers.  It has evolved and grown over the past twenty-plus years.  Whether this new world is based off of Encom’s original mainframe or a brand new creation remains to be seen.  Either way, I kinda prefer the idea of it being its own isolated realm.  I think the story could have gotten too unwieldy and overwhelming if these characters were playing around in our world wide web.  This way, Flynn and Clu will be much more fun to watch playing around in a universe that has a slightly claustrophobic feel to it, giving the moviegoer more tension to chew on.

Fans of Bladerunner should at least enjoy the movie stylistically. Syd Mead, who designed the world Decker got to chase replicants down in also did the design work for TRON and Legacy.  So, expect a dark film with a lot of Bladerunner influences.  I think that stylistic choice should fit this new film perfectly.  It’s one of the major aspects of Legacy I’m really looking forward to.

And if none of the above is enough to get you excited, I leave you with this (didn’t I mention this?):

(You can embiggen it.)

The Don feels a presence.  Another warrior is on the mesa.  Oh, it’s just a C.O.W.-Boy.