Greetings, Dream Warriors!

First off, I want to take a moment to celebrate my 20^th article with Spwug!

Okay, moment over.

Now, if memory serves, I believe I said last week that I would do something resembling a con report for my trip to Horrorfind last weekend.

You asked for it.

This year, instead of being at the Hunt Valley Inn in Baltimore, the festivities were moved to the UMUC Marriott Inn and Conference Center in Adelphi, Maryland.  This would prove to be the con’s undoing over the weekend.

“Why?” you ask, in what has become a regular staple of our time together.

To put it bluntly, I was severely disappointed.

Let me break it down for you:

One of the things that didn’t quite hit me immediately when we got there, but which began to permeate through me as the weekend wore on, is that the atmosphere didn’t seem right.  One of the things I loved about Horrorfind at the Hunt Valley Inn was that everywhere you went, there were decorations, costumes, tables set up to peddle wares of dark design – all of these  constant reminders that one was forehead-deep in the middle of all that is horror.  The Hunt Valley Inn was small and cozy enough that you couldn’t turn anywhere without soaking in the ambiance.  It was everywhere - from the autograph room brimming with celebrities of the horror genre, to movie screens showing a fine mixture of cheesy and horrifying fright fests, to the dealers’ room that spilled out into the halls with curiosities and items of novelty that put the Hallowe’en displays in Spencer’s to shame.  There was even a haunted house set up within one of the hotel rooms that put your typical spook houses to shame.  You could wrap the convention around you like a blanket, and it was warm with delicious evil.

Sadly, the Conference Center in Adelphi was missing all of that.  It was a much larger building, so all of the different events were spread out considerably.  The halls were rather large, stark and cold.  No decorations other than the tape and skulls used to direct unsuspecting attendees to their tickets of disappointment.  There were a couple of tables placed out in the halls here and there, but it was a non-existent attempt at a sinister décor.  The movie screens were shoved out of the way and hidden into side rooms, and the dealers’ room seemed like a pale reflection of itself.  Once littered with treasures and prizes of the macabre, now the tables seemed uninteresting.  I barely bought anything the entire weekend.

That’s probably a good thing, as the other problem with the convention this year was that a good number of the guests this year jacked their prices up enough to make you wallet shriek in agony.  I ended up only getting pictures and autographs from Roddy Piper (John Carpenter’s They Live), Chris Sarandon (The Princess Bride, Fright Night), and Michael Biehn (The Terminator, Aliens, Tombstone).  That was pretty much all I could afford, as each one of them charged $25 for an autograph, plus an extra $25 to have your picture taken with them (in Piper’s case, it was only an extra $10).  This was quite a mark-up from the standard 15 – 20 bucks for both.  Now, it turns out that almost all of the regular staples of Horrorfind (Ken Foree, Dee Wallace, Sid Haig) kept their prices reasonable.  Problem is, I had already gotten all of them at previous cons.

So, I sucked it up as I blew about $135 on three celebs, noting that the lines for each of them varied from very short to non-existent.  This was a complete 180 from past conventions, when all of the big guests would have lines with at least an hour-long wait.

Sucks about them gas prices, hunh guys?

The only saving grace for the entire weekend was the time I spent hanging out with the Darkstone Entertainment folks.  You know, the independent film company who made a movie not too long ago that I got to be a zombie in?  I pretty much spent the entire weekend at their table, helping them promote stuff, picking their brains, and providing a sound board for film ideas.  It was a blast getting to hang out with them all weekend.

Of course, the best part was getting to watch the premiere of Skeleton Key 3, the movie I had the privilege to be a part of.  For two hours I sat with a good-sized crowd as we laughed and applauded a fun and crazy new entry in John Johnson’s SK series.  It was quite surreal to see myself in blue make-up, trying to eat brains on the big screen.

So yeah… my Horrorfind experience for this year.  Not the pinnacle of fun.  Again, if it wasn’t for the enjoyment I had with the Darkstone crew, this past weekend would have been a total bust.  I may have seriously considered not going back.  I’ve certainly decided that I’m not bothering with autographs next year if the prices continue to be that high.  As it stands, I plan on returning next year, if only to pimp with the D once again.  If my audition with them this Sunday goes well, I may become a permanent fixture.

Oh yeah, I suppose I should show you pictures.  I mean, they’re only worth $25 each ($10 in Piper’s case).  May as well make good use of them:

We’re here to kick ass and chew gum.  And I’m all out of money.

My father’s final words were, “Charge him $50 for a picture and an autograph.”

There’s no fate but what you make.  And it costs $50.

 
I leave you now on a high note:  the Friday of the con, my friend Dan took me to this really cool retro toy shop in Ellicott City, Maryland called All Time Toys.  This place was awesome!  It was like my entire childhood was on display for me to behold!  All the classic toys I grew up with – Transformers, G.I. Joe, Star Wars, The Real Ghostbusters, He-Man, Visionaries, and more – were there to be purchased.  Some toys were loose, some in their original packaging.  All of them were reasonably priced.  It was amazing!  This guy had everything!  And what he didn’t have at the store, he had in storage and could get it for you.  He told us that he had enough stock, collected over several years, to fill a K-Mart.  He also had this on display:

And he had just sold it for $5K!

Man, I would love to have my own Han Solo in carbonite.  Maybe I can afford one the next time I stop by there if I stop spending money on celebrities.

The Don is alive… and in perfect inebriation.

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Greetings, Freejacks!

Apologies ahead of time.  This installment will be shorter than you are used to.  See, I’ve had—

Hey!

Quit cheering.  It’s rude.

Anyway, my plate has been extremely full lately.  Between my hours changing at my job, my parents coming for a surprise visit this weekend, and having to put extra hours in on my web comic “The Draconia Chronicles”, I barely have time to sit and chat with you fine people.

Why are you laughing, now?

So, I wanted to share with you an exquisite little British show that just came out on DVD here in the US that anyone who can declare themselves a true geek should fancy.

I’m talking about “Spaced”.

Anyone who loved Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz should love this show as well.  Four of the lovable Brits who are responsible for the movies above are also responsible for this instant classic of a show – Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, Nick Frost, and Jessica Hynes (née Stevenson).

The plot is simple – Simon and Jessica play Tim and Daisy (respectively).  Both of them recently became in need of a place to live.  After a chance meeting in a diner, they decide – despite not really knowing each other – to pose as a couple in order to meet the criteria necessary for a cheap flat (that’s what they call apartments in the UK) that has just become available in the classifieds.  The series, which only lasted two seasons, follows their lives as they deal with the crazy and surreal situations that keep popping up episode after episode.

What makes this show a must for the geek crowd is the fact that it’s filled with geek moments and references to a lot of the pop culture you and I squee over endlessly (okay, maybe just me).  In fact, one episode is directly responsible for the creation of Shaun of the Dead.  And at just under $30, it’s one of the more reasonably-priced British imports we’ve seen in some time.

“Spaced” is an awesome series, one that will make you laugh constantly.  At the very least, you’ll be pointing at every other moment in each episode, saying “Holy crap! That’s awesome!”

Or you may suddenly find yourself in a random, slow-motion shootout using your hands as guns.

 The Don doesn’t think dogs can look up either.  Let the aerial attacks begin.

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Honey, I’m home! The gig at PiQ magazine didn’t end up working out, so it’s time to come back to the gig I love - dissecting the sprouting and burning of the anime/game/manga world.

This week’s topic is one that bridges the burning and sprouting worlds. As Gainax co-founder and master of bounce Yamaga Hiroyuki told a Fanime panel introducing a fresh Guren Lagann, “Boys love drills.”

It’s true, too - going all the way back to Getter 2 with Drill Missile and up to Guren Lagann on the burning side. Some time in the last few decades of anime, drills became a staple of the sprouting side of anime, too - attached not to robots, but to hair. It’s a fascinating crossover phenomenon that appeals to both sides of a growing young Japanese boy.

Drills on robots are relatively easy to explain - they were easy to animate in the old days. Draw a few frames of a drill spinning, and you’re set for the next 26 episodes. It’s also very dramatic to see a drill kicking up a storm of sparks against the armor of an enemy robot. Plus, it’s a surrogate penis, and boys love those things.

Drills on girls, on the other hand, take a bit more explaining. For example, take a look at a couple of girls with different forms of iconic drill hair: Houjou Reika from Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun (whose hair isn’t nearly as drill-heavy as that of others, but is important for the sake of discussion later), Karin from Street Fighter Alpha, and the Archer from Disgaea (who is so identified with her drill hair that in Disgaea 3, she actually says “Doriru!” as one of her combat noises).

Aside from being visually interesting and physically impossible short of wigs wrapped around foam, drill hair has three major features that lends itself to frequent use in character designs. First, it implies that the character spends a hell of a lot of time working on her hair in the morning, implying certain levels of leisure time combined with vanity. Second, the pointed nature of a drill and its resemblance to colonial European wigs adds to a general look of sharpness and nobility to a character design. Third, the standard drill is an upgraded cousin of the Twin Tail hairstyle, which has long been associated with tsundere. Add these three together and you have an easy route to the ojou-sama character archetype, the haughty character who looks and acts like a queen.

Pretty much every drill-haired girl will fall into this character type, from the above-mentioned Reika and Karin to Yurika from Project Justice and Char from Shuraki. Drill hair is character design shorthand at this point, giving you a bunch of character information in just a character’s hair and a little flag for ojou-sama or tsundere fans just like glasses are a giant flag for the tastefully named Richard Kim.

As a random note, Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun also included a highly amusing bit about how anime drill hair is made - Reika wakes up late one morning, and has to manually drill up her hair by sticking her finger in her tails and spinning it at about the speed of an egg whisk. It’s more than a little silly, and wholly hilarious.

Are you a fan of the drills? Do you wish I’d talked about something else? Didja miss me (or not miss me?) Let me know in the comments!

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Greetings, Wonder Hamsters!

I’ve been a big fan of “Weird Al” Yankovic (not Yankovich, thank you)  since his first major chart hit – “Eat It” – started making the rounds when I was eight years old.  I was a trailer park kid, so I wasn’t able to get any of his albums in stores.  Nope.  But, I had plenty of friends who made me copies of his releases on tape.  That’s right - I was playing it illegal waaay before NAPSTER.  I did what I wanted!  I robbed and pillaged!  I pretended real life problems and video game problems were synonymous!  And I ruled the world!!!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*ahem*

Sorry about that.  I guess the spirit of the Al is infecting me a little.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late), I’ve been a fan since I was eight.  Last night I had my first opportunity to see him live in concert with my wife and a couple of friends.

In a word – WOW.

To say I went to a concert is an understatement that makes calling a HUMVEE a gas-hog an accurate assumption.  When you go see “Weird Al” perform, what you attend is a multimedia experience.

For two and a half hours, we were subjected to his Royal Weirdness on stage performing a lot of his hits (most of them from his latest album, Straight Outta Lynwood).  During that time, this man – who is pushing 50 – exuded an energy and limberness I’ve never seen in a human being before.  Incredible!  There were a lot of costume changes, but this is where the “multimedia experience” comes into play.  During his costume changes (sometimes they came after each song) a three-screen display would show clips from several of his “AL TV” specials, as well as clips from movies, cartoons, and awards shows that he has been featured in.  With all of this bombarding your senses, there was not a dull moment.

And the performances for each song were mind-blasting!  As I said before, he had all this maniacal energy not typical of a 48 year-old man.  He never wavered, never faltered.  Even when wearing layers that would have dropped a lesser performer from heat exhaustion, Mr. Alfred Matthew Yankovic brought the crazy.

My favorite performance was when Al came out to do “The Saga Begins”.  Why?  Ask the Star Wars geek within me, as he was screeching the entire time when a small squad of Stormtroopers came out with Darth Vader leading them to center stage.  Then, the coily-coiffed one and his band came out in Jedi robes to perform the song (with the exception of keyboardist Rubén Valtierra, who was dressed as the Emperor).  At that point my inner geek fainted, and I had to slap him around to get him out of his stupor.  Geek side revived, I was able to enjoy the rest of the song.

The rest of the concert was nothing short of exuberant.  All five of us walked out of there last night hopped-up on all of the raw energy that was flying around that venue.  I’ve been to plenty of concerts in the past few years, but I have never been to anything like that before.  I left The National (in Richmond, Virginia) invigorated, giddy, and it felt good.  It was like a roller coaster – intense, fast, and exhilarating.  And it was over too quickly.

Next time he’s playing nearby, I’m going for another ride.

The Don dares to be stupid, much to his wife’s embarrassment.

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Greetings, Centurions!

Today’s installment is going to be a little shorter than you’re used to.  My sincere apologies.  I’m still dealing with things right now in regards to my friend Scot, and it has put me slightly behind on my other obligations.

Be that as it may, I’m still going to give you something, dagnabbit!  Oh man.  Sorry about the harsh language.  Stress can really wreak havoc on a person.  Sometimes a guy – any guy, but maybe one with a beard and long hair who looks a little like Silent Bob – just needs to find him something to help him relax and relieve the tension of the long day.

(Here’s where I use that clunky bit of exposition above to segue into my topic for today’s installment.)

You all know that I have a PS3 now.  I have some good games for it:  Metal Gear Solid 4, Grand Theft Auto 4, The Incredible Hulk.  But there is one game that I can’t seem to get enough of…

To make a long story short (too late), I love me some Lego Star Wars.

I mean, I already bought both the first and second Lego Star Wars games for the PS2 when they first came out.  I’ve beaten both of them.  When I got my PS3, I immediately picked up Lego Indiana Jones, hungry for more Lego misadventures.  But, though I did love Lego Indy, it just wasn’t as expansive and diverse as Lego Star Wars.

So, when my friend Eric decided to pick up The Complete Saga for his PS3, his tempting offer to play the co-op online mode was too sweet to ignore.  I went out and picked it up for myself.

Holy cow.  I haven’t played any of my other games since I popped this in.  I love this game!  It has quite a number of changes to make it worth purchasing even if you already bought the first two.  The game play is extremely fun.  It’s challenging, but not too hard.  You can get through it quickly enough.  Thing is, there is just so much more game to play in The Complete Saga.  I’m swiftly taking this game in whole with a voracious hunger.  There’s just so much to do and so many cool new unlockables to get and use.

If there was one thing that was off about this game, it has to be the online co-op mode.  It’s not easy to just get online and play with a friend.  But, after some research, Eric and I were able to make a few small tweaks that allowed the online mode to work really well.

Despite its minor flaw, this game never ceases to be an enjoyable experience for me.  I’m addicted!

Crap.  Now I have another problem to stress me out.

The Don is a Lego brick… house.

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Greetings, Kobra Kai.

My apologies ahead of time, as there will technically be no real article from me this week.  I really don’t have much to say anyway.  You see, just a few days ago a friend and co-worker of mine – just shy of his thirty-second birthday – had a major stroke at his home.  He is currently in the ICU in critical condition and isn’t expected to make it.

I wouldn’t bring him up here in the halls of Spwug but for one reason – as I was thinking about the last 12 years that I’ve known him, I came to realize he was integral to a lot of the geek stuff I am currently into.

When I first met Scot Blair, we were both airmen in the Air Force.  It was 1996, and I had just gotten stationed at Langley Air Force Base here in Virginia.  I hadn’t really met too many people outside my job, so I hadn’t really made any friends yet.

That all changed the moment I ventured into the Day Room of the dorms to watch The Empire Strikes Back on the big screen TV.

Enter Scot – my first impression was that he reminded me of Whiz from the 80s cartoon “Kidd Video”, and he was just as smart.  He sat down beside me, introduced himself, and we watched the film, all the while quoting every line.

We struck up a friendship from that point on.  Now when I say he was integral to a lot of the geek stuff I’m into, I mean he introduced me to a number of things.  He was the one that had a small collection of anime titles that he would lend to me.  I had already wet my appetite for anime before I met him, but he was the one who pulled me in head first – Tenchi Muyo, El Hazard, Cowboy Bebop (just to name a few).  I may not be into anime as much as a lot of my friends are, but the stuff I do like I owe to Scot Blair.

He was also responsible for making me aware that there was a British TV series called Red Dwarf.  Now, I had read the two books (the only two books) that had been released in the states, and I loved both of them.  But then here comes along Mr. Blair and blows my mind with the idea of a TV show.  I watched a couple of episodes and I was hooked.  It’s one of my favorite series to this day.

I would have to say that the biggest part of my life that he had a hand in was meeting my wife.  In early 2000 I had gotten out of the Air Force and was working as a government contractor with Scot and our friend Eric.  During this time, I was in a really bad state.  I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship with a woman girl I loved very much.  The relationship was toxic and my heart had once again been broken.  I didn’t want to leave the house.  Ever.  Enter Scot, once again.  He had convinced me to go to this anime convention called Nekocon in Virginia Beach the weekend of Halloween.  At this point I was well on my way to growing my hair and beard out to become the wonderful Silent Bob look-alike you all know and love today.  I had planned on going to some costume contests and seeing if I could win some cash.  Instead, I let Scot talk me into going to this Nekocon.  I figured I would just take my poorly put-together Silent Bob costume with me to the con.

Not only was I a HUGE hit (and a staple of anime conventions for years to come), but I also met my future wife for the first time.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Looking back on all of the above, I realize that Scot had a bigger influence on my life then I ever gave him credit for.  He’s helped make me the geek I am, and helped me take that first step into finding the woman I would eventually call Mrs. Sturges.  That is why I felt it fitting that I talk about him this week, and that is why he needs to recover (among other reasons).  I need to thank him.

Hunh.  Looks like I had a lot to say after all.

The Don offers his thoughts and prayers out to Scot Blair.

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Well, maybe not. I actually DO have a post floating around as yet unformed int he back of my head but I haven’t had time to sit down and think it out. My Best beloved is having surgery tomorrow so I’ve been a bit wrapped up in getting ready for the fun that is the hospital waiting room. I’ve got 2 knitting projects, a magazine for the San Diego Comic Con, a novel, and about 4 DS games to help me wait out a 2 hour procedure. Think I’ve got enough stuff? Maybe I need another game….

Anyway, I have a slightly random question to all you folks out there (more than likely all y’all that are moms, let’s call a spade a spade, shall we?) I have a teddy bear that needs a bath, but I know that washing machines are a bad way to go (glass eyes should not be smacked around, you know.) and besides I really don’t feel like spending $10 on the dryer to get the stuffing dry. Any ideas on surface cleaning stuffed toys?

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Way back when I was first married, my ex and I impulsively decided to go ring shopping while driving past the maul (no typo, I call them mauls for they maul you with savings!).  We walked into the Kay Jewelers at Montgomery Maul (no longer there BTW) and spent a few minutes looking at rings.  When we decided we needed help, we were promptly and most decisively ignored by the staff.  As we were one of two couples in the place, they had to use some pretty strong jutsu to ignore us.  After many minutes of unsucessful attempts to get anyone’s attention, we left and headed to another store.  I can’t recall the name, but again, we were most verily ignored.  Brushed off if you will.

This was a clear case of ageism.

Normally, whenever we were treated poorly, I used to attribute it to racism.  We were a mixed couple, I’m Asian and she was a tall Caucasion blond.  But in this case, I suspect it had more to do with what we were wearing than our skin color.  When I go to the maul, I dress like a proper geek should.  Ultraman t-shirt, pants with zippers.  Clearly not someone who appears to have large amounts of cash.  But here’s the thing.  When a young couple walks into your jewelery store, chances are they’re there to purchase something.  They may not look like much, but it’s a good bet that they have money to spend.  It might not be for an engagement ring.  It could be for a necklace or some earings.  Either way, couples don’t window shop for jewelery.  You can’t drag a guy into a jewelery store unless he’s buying something.

I actually had a decent wad of cash to spend on an engagement ring.  Someone at that Kay Jewelers could have made a decent commission.  Instead, they earned nothing but my enmity and bad publicity because I talk shit about them every time a friend says they’re thinking about buying jewelery which is usually about the time they’ve saved huge cashola to spend on an engagement ring.  We took our business to Mervis who treated us like kings and sold us a higher quality diamond for less than we would have paid for Kay Jewelers.

Idiots.

I’d like to report that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me now.  But when my current wife and I decided to go ring shopping, we were met with a few cold shoulders.  The fuck is wrong with these people?  By now, I would have thought that these old fucks running these stores would realize that geeks have geeky jobs which in turn hand out geeky fat paychecks.  We did find a place that treated us very well from our first step through the door and we bought my wife’s engagement ring and both our wedding bands from them.   And we’d buy more from them if Audrey actually wore jewelery.

So there you go.  When ring shopping, be wary of anti-geek shop owners.  Don’t give them your money.  They don’t deserve it.  No matter how fancy or upscale the store is, you deserve respect because dammit, you’re gonna buy something shiny and expensive!

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By now, you’ve probably seen the above. Very entertaining. Almost hypnotic with those stripes.

Clearly, the guy is taking video of his girlfriend without her knowing. Now she knows. And while she was apparently fairly pissed off when she first discovered her boyfriend’s indiscretion, she’s now quite comfortable with her fifteen minutes of fame.

Although part of me thankful that he posted the video (now I know Wii fit has a sexy hula hoop game! Maybe my ass will look that hot after hours of Wii), part of me also wonders if maybe our lives in this digital era are a little over exposed. Playing Wii Fit in a t-shirt and undies is something you do in private. It’s certainly not as private as having sex, but it’s not meant for the rest of the world. And yet, even these tiny little moments are exposed to the world.

This is the age of user generated content. We all have opinions. We all do crazy things. And we can all share our ideas in ways never before possible. The crazy thing? There’s an audience! Everyone wants to know what everyone else thinks or says or does. In some ways, it’s a little voyeuristic. But in some way, we all seem to be fascinated with the lives of other people no matter how random or mundane.

In previous generations, posting such a video would have been a one way ticket to single town. These days, hell, even a sex tape might not be enough to break up over.

Anyway, back to gawking at the hula game.

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I hope you all had a great Memorial Day Weekend.

What’s the geekiest gift you’ve either given to your honey bunny or received from said honey bunny?

For my birthday this year, my wife sewed me a custom plushy color variation of Edwardo from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. Instead of purple, she made a cuddly blue version. He’s pocket sized and could probably go with me everywhere I go, but he stays at home guarding the house from sneaky, foul, tricksy hobbitses. Cute plushy and body guard all in one! Best gift ever!

For my part, when we first started dating, I got a photo print of a digital painting I made for her of Sanrio’s Unico swimming like a dumb ass in hungry shark infested waters. Nothing says love like fanart from an obscure anime movie.  I also once did a silly music video for her birthday which I shall now unleash here:

So, what’s the geekiest gift you’ve given or received for loves?

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