Guys, what with San Diego Comic-Con going on last weekend, all the geeky announcements coming from said con, StarCraft II dropping this week, and the webcomic Dreamless ending yesterday (Monday, July 26th), I actually was so flooded with topics that I honestly didn’t know what to write about this week. Luckily, two tickets to a free pre-release showing of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World saved me from hours of pointless self-debate. My boyfriend has awesome connections, man. (Despite popular misconception on the blogging sites that link to me, I am, in fact, a chick. *Cheepcheep*)

Don’t worry, North American moviegoers. The film won’t be released here till August 13th, and I won’t be spoiling your experience with a plotariffic review here and now. This is just a gush post. I’m going to predict right now that this is the best movie I will see all year (sorry, Tony Stark). It is, in fact, the best movie I have seen, not just this year, but in many years. We just saw it for free, but my little household is already planning to go see it again, with pocketbooks wide open, as soon as it opens in theaters. And quite possibly see it again, and again, and again.

Okay, so, I’m a Scott Pilgrim newbie. I’d never even heard of the series until I went to see Iron Man 2 this spring, and my friends were geeking out over a poster for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. From the snatches of conversation I could decipher (I was also playing Zelda on my DS at the time, which may have affected my comprehension), Scott Pilgrim was the Best Comic Evar, and this movie was going to be the Best Movie Evar. I filed it away as “interesting; may have to check out this Scott thing” and then promptly forgot it in the wake of Tony Stark Being Awesome. Let’s face it, that’s far too easy to do. Then I continued to forget about the existence of Scott Pilgrim until yesterday, when I received a text from my significant other about those famous free tickets to the advance showing. So, yeah. That’s me, going into the movie blinder than a hundred thousand blind cave fish with severe astigmatism and broken glasses. I didn’t know what to expect.

When the movie began–began!–with the opening sound of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (the electronic harp heard at the beginning of the below video), I knew that this Scott Pilgrim and I were going to get along just fine.

Click here to view the embedded video.

In fact, there is one character who is frequently playing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past during the movie, and I have to admit–I didn’t hear a single word of dialogue while those sounds were playing in the background. I think I could watch that movie a hundred times–and I plan to–and I’ll never be able to tell you what’s being discussed when Zelda 3 is in the movie’s hizzouse. Talk about tunnel vision, man.

Okay, I’m trying to drag myself away from Zelda now. Really, I am. I understand that the greatest video game series of all time making a cameo isn’t enough to draw some people into the theater. Picky, picky. But all joking aside, as much as I fangasmed at the Zelda-ness, that wasn’t what made me love the movie. If there had been no Hyrulean presence whatsoever (and it was also referenced aside from the music, by the way), I would still have declared this The Best Movie I Have Seen In Years. I read up…a LOT…on the original comic series today and even got to read a little bit of the work itself. From what I can tell in my incredibly limited experience, the movie seems to hold true to the geek parody-loving, metahumour style that seems to be the comic’s standard. I can already point out places where the movie cut and squished things together a bit to make it all work in two hours, but I see that as giving me something new to look forward to when I read the full series. There are super-fast visual cuts from character to character and scene to scene near the beginning of the movie that you might find a little unsettling or confusing, but the film very quickly calms down and remembers it’s a movie, not a comic book, and that panel-to-panel behaviour doesn’t work so well in most live-action. Still, though, the movie does a terrific job of sticking with its graphic novel roots. Sound effects are written out on the screen as they happen, for example, and two people can literally throw each other around the room without taking damage. Batman would approve! You know, if he wasn’t too busy angsting over his parents being dead and all.

And, dear elder gods, but this movie is FUNNY! The theater was less than half full (very few tickets given away for this particular screening), but, frequently, the audience was laughing and cheering so loudly that the movie would be completely drowned out for a few seconds. Did I mention the movie was funny? I actually got a stitch in my side from laughing so hard, and my boyfriend seemed to be having trouble breathing at times.

Now, I went into the movie blind, but you don’t have to. (Stop reading now if you want the comic/movie to be a total blank slate for you.) Here’s a belated Wikipedia blurb on what Scott Pilgrim and his ilk are on about in the comic and movie:

The series is about 23-year-old Canadian Scott Pilgrim, a slacker, hero, and part-time bassist who is living in Toronto and plays bass guitar in the band “Sex Bob-Omb.” He falls in love with American delivery girl Ramona V. Flowers, but must defeat her seven “evil [exes]” in order to date her. (Read the rest of the article for more on the story.)

But if you think this is just a romance story, you’d better re-examine that theory. Scott Pilgrim is all about adventure, a “real-life” video game where ninja attacks are to be expected, Bollywood song-and-dance fights are considered a viable way to settle your differences, no one bats an eye at a vegan going Super-Saiyan and punching holes in the moon, people explode into coins when they’re defeated (but it’s not “real” money, being Canadian and all–I kid, I KID!), and sometimes, you find out the worst enemy you have to face to win the princess is Dark Link yourself.

If parody and metahumour and a little touch of love are your bag, baby, then you want to see this movie. If you’re not a fan of geek humour…then I don’t know what the hell you’re doing on this website. Go watch your American football games and try to convince me that it’s not gay when the guys slap their teammates’ asses. You’re only fooling yourself. Actually, because I’m all about love and peace and sharing and all that crap, I’m also going to recommend Scott Pilgrim vs. the World to you, ’cause expanding your horizons “ain’t never hurt nobody”. Trust me, you’ll enjoy the film! Here, have a little trailer to prove it:

Click here to view the embedded video.

And now, if you’ll pardon me for this week, I’ve got to go add six new comic books to my Amazon.cacom wishlist….

This isn’t one of those times.

Still, it’s a pretty fortunate coincidence that the new Predators movie is opening this weekend and the original Predator came out last week on Blu and that I watched it over the weekend and I had planned on writing about the film this week as a part of my “Don Remembers” series.

Wow.  That’s a lot of ands.

But, with the ever-growing excitement I’m feeling over the possibility that a new Predator film written and produced by Robert Rodriguez might actually be good (or at the very least wash the horrible taste of A v P films out of cinegoers mouths), I felt it was only fitting that this week I remember the classic Schwarzenegger flick that started it all.

First, I will go on record and say that I think Predator is hands down the best action film on Arnold’s resume (and holy cow does it look beautiful on Blu – so clean that it looks like a recently-released film).  Don’t get me wrong – I love me some Terminator and T2, and Commando is just way too much fun – but Predator is a nice, intimate sci-fi/action flick that seems to work perfectly on every level.  You’ve got your well-cast, well-balanced team dynamic, with each character played brilliantly by his respective actor and getting a decent amount of development – so when each one dies, you don’t just shrug it off.  Each death carries weight.  You’ve got your humorous one-liners.  You’ve got your straight-up, military mission plot line that about half-way through gets a serious injection of sci-fi/slasher juice in the form of a bad-ass alien who has no qualms with how messy he makes his kills.  That leads me to the fact that film is also loaded up with a decent amount of gore.  Top that all off with the requisite staple of a Schwarzenegger film – Arnie in a one-on-one showdown with the big bad – and you have the final product that should be on regular rotation in every household.

This film actually holds a special significance for me, as it was the very first R-rated flick I got to see in theaters.  It was summer of 1987.  I was twelve and had just finished seventh grade the month before.  One of my best friends, Jeff, and I had already been stoked to see this film for months after all the articles we had read in magazines like Starlog and Fangoria (ah, the days before the internet when all of your cool movie scoops came from sci-fi and horror magazines).  We talked about this movie constantly, in between watching episodes of Thundercats, playing D&D, and our numerous and consistent attempts to catch any glimpse of T&A that we could on MTV or in whatever flick we could catch on a pay channel.

When the film was finally released in June, Jeff got permission from his mom to stay over at my family’s house that weekend.  Convincing my dad to take us wasn’t a difficult task, as he loved a good action flick as much as anyone.  With our tickets in hand, we went into the small theater at our tiny mall in our miniscule town and took our seats – minds ablaze with excitement over what we were about to see unfold across the screen.

An hour and forty minutes later…

Holy crap!  Jeff and I exited that theater, our young minds blown by the spectacle we had just been privy to.  For the next few months, every minute of our lives was infused with Arnie-speak from the film.  Quotes were flying out of our mouths (and in most cases, away from adult ears) faster than Blaine getting eviscerated by a plasma blast.  Every time we went out to play “guns”, we were commandoes up against some alien hunter.  Even our combined G.I. Joe saw an upgrade in adversaries – from hooded used car salesmen to dreadlocked killers with mandibles and active camouflage.  We would be eating, sleeping, and breathing the awesomeness of Predator well for quite awhile…

Then the hormones kicked in, and we noticed girls.  But that’s another memory… and one probably best not shared.

The Don ain’t got time to bleed.  He’s too busy screaming like a girl from the paper cut.

Those of you who grew up during the eighties may remember a little book series put out by a company called Crestwood House that focused on classic monsters from the fifties, sixties, and seventies.  These orange and black little treasures were part of the “Monster Series”, and were some of the most heavily sought-after tomes of my third grade class.

A delightful anthology series, each Monster Series book would focus on a particular movie monster type, be it Frankenstein’s Monster, Godzilla, or Mad Scientists.  And it wouldn’t just cover one iteration of the subject, either – each volume would include every classic appearance of the character, be it silent film, Universal version, Hammer version, or even sequels.  And for a deceptively thin book, each hardcover seemed to overflow with a fountain of information on the monsters we all loved as kids.

My fondest memories of this were again back in third grade.  I remember that my third grade teacher, Mrs. Hopper, was a very kind but very strict Christian woman.  As such, she didn’t like us bringing in anything that seemed evil or un-Christianlike.  So, that meant that the Crestwood House books were verboten in our class.  We could check them out, but they had to remain in our back packs or we couldn’t check them out at all.

That just made them all the more desirable to get ahold of.  We used to sneak them into the back of the room or out by the tree during recess and just go over them cover to cover.  Repeatedly.  There were only six different volumes in our library, but I must have checked each one out at least a hundred times over the course of that school year.

Then, there was the time in fourth grade that I went on a field trip with my gifted class.  The library we went to had new Crestwoods that I had never seen before!  With the new additions added to the growing series list on the back, I was mesmerized by the chance to explore new monsterscapes.  I tried repeatedly to look through them while we were in this foreign elementary library, but I was repeatedly foiled by the fact that we were there for other educational purposes.  But there was only one education I wanted at that point – I wanted to learn more about monsters.

Sadly, I never got to read those other installments.  But, those Monster series books continue to be a part of what makes me the geek I am today – especially my love of monster movies.

The Don is doing the Mash.  The Monster Mash.

The 80s were an impressive decade as far as animation was concerned.  Television viewers were literally flooded with a wealth of animated programs of all shapes and sizes.  And practically anything that was on the pop culture radar got its own cartoon, from video games to sitcoms to musicians.  If you were a hot commodity, you would soon find yourself in two-dimensional, cel-shaded glory.

Animation was becoming more prominent in movie theaters as well.  Though the 70s showed that an occasional non-Disney cartoon could dip its toe in the theatrical realm, it wasn’t until the 80s that we would see it start to become much more mainstream.  From rock prodigy on display with Heavy Metal to after school favorites getting the feature film treatment like Transformers and G.I. Joe, cartoons were starting to gain a wider audience.

Speaking of theatrical releases, there is one animated movie that still stands out and resonates with me to this day – one that I am proud to own on DVD.  It’s not one of the more well-known titles to come out of the 80s, but I think it’s one of the best.  And with the recent news of a certain famous author’s memoirs finally being available to publish this year, I think remembering this film is more than apropos – The Adventures of Mark Twain.

This film opened in January 1986 to a very limited release (seven cities, to be exact).  It was directed by Will Vinton, who was best known for being the creator of Claymation (and within that art, The California Raisins).  Using the techniques he harnessed from honing his clay-playing craft, Vinton crafted an incredible clay-animated film that chronicled the final days of Mark Twain as he rides an airship to the stars in order to go out with the same comet he came in with.  Along the way, he acquires three stowaways – Tom Sawyer, Becky Thatcher, and Huck Finn.  As they make to their way to Twain’s final destination, the ex-Clemens regales the children with stories taken from his own writings, as well as imparting lessons to the three before he leaves the world for good.

What stands out most about this putty-crafted spectacle is how mature it is for an animated feature.  With a combination of humor and dark subject matter (dark enough to be widely banned), Mark Twain presents itself honestly, showing both sides of the author’s conflicted psyche.  Through a series of vignettes framed by an overarching storyline, we get to see the humor that Twain saw in things, as well as the demons he bore witness to during his depression.  Mark Twain is a very deep film, exploring and celebrating one of America’s best authors by offering a fresh and creative manner for sharing his works, as well as offering a glimpse into his soul.

Despite the controversy the movie sports, I was fortunate enough to be able to see this in theaters.  Already in the process of learning about Twain in our sixth grade Gifted class, our instructor was able to take us on a field trip to our local theater to see this wonderful film.  How our little town was able to procure a print of the movie when it was very limited in its release, I haven’t a clue.  All I do remember is that some deal was worked out and a representative for the film actually came out as well to answer any questions we had.  I remember watching the movie afterwards and enjoying every minute of it.

It would be a long time before I would even get to see this film again, but it never fully left my mind.  The imagery and substance on display continued to resonate with me long after.  Then, in January of 2006 (just in time for its twentieth anniversary!), the movie was finally released to DVD.  I snatched it up immediately and watched it in the hopes that it still held up in comparison to what I remembered.

Sure enough, The Adventures of Mark Twain is every bit as moving and profound as I remember.  I still find myself laughing during the truly funny moments, and I still find myself deeply affected by the dark and creepy moments.  A shining tribute to a great author as well as a highlight in the art of Claymation, this movie still succeeds at resonating with me.

And now, I leave you with the truly disturbing scene that caused its ban, yet still manages to communicate an incredible wealth of intellectual depth:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The Don is but a thought.

Starting next week and running through summer, I will be bringing you a brand new series called “The Don Remembers…”  A nostalgic series, I will be focusing on toys, movies, television, cereals, and other pop culture fixtures that have been a part of our lives for the past thirty years, adding my own anecdotes and observations to give each entry that unique flavor that you love to read from me every week.  I think it will a fun way to spend the summer, and hopefully you’ll all come indoors every so often to partake in said having of the fun.

In anticipation of this weekly summer feature, this week’s “Office” will be a sneak preview of sorts, to give you a taste of what’s to come.  And since the magic number here is thirty, what better way to kick it off then by delivering you a one-two punch to the reader-plexus with two franchises that just turned thirty this past weekend – The Empire Strikes Back and Pac-Man!

The Empire Strikes Back

Arguably the best film in the entire Star Wars saga (no matter whether you count all six installments or just the original Holy Trilogy), Empire is a prime example of how Lucas should have handled all of his films after the first one became such a surprising success – hire a better director to helm your film while you hire better writers to polish your script.  Because that’s what he did with Empire, and somehow managed to hit it pretty close to the mark to get us all riled up like that (in a good way).  What came out of that masterful stroke of good decision-making was a darker, yet fun and thrilling film that gave its predecessor a run for its money, while at the same time causing everyone to wet themselves in excitement as their jaws dropped into their collective laps.

I know that’s how my five-year-old self felt.  I remember my parents taking me to see this when it first came out.  Already a huge fan by the time I hit five, I remember the excitement as we waited in line for the next showing at our local theater.  I could hear the thrum and drum of the film as it played on to the movie-goers already held by its thrall.  My anxious anticipation building to almost unbearable levels, I tore away for a second and peeked in at what was being played on the screen.  I was greeted instantly with the sight of Luke’s X-Wing as it zoomed across the stars.  But not even that image could prepare me for what awaited my young senses when it was our turn to take our seats.

Interestingly enough, everything that makes this movie great is exactly what made this one my least favorite when I was a kid.  I remember bawling my eyes out when Han got taken away in carbonite, and I simply couldn’t wait another three years to find out of Luke and his friends could save him.  In the meantime, my actions figures made very sure that he was rescued and back on smuggler detail immediately.

It took awhile, but as my movie-going mind matured my tastes matured, and The Empire Strikes Back eventually became my favorite movie of all time, and it remains so to this day.

Pac-Man

There isn’t a soul on the face of civilized earth that doesn’t recognize this tiny, round, phasmophobe with a severe pill addiction.  Originally called “Puck Man”, this classic arcade game came out during the birth of the video game age, at a time when the big draws all involved spaceships shooting at hostile invaders of one sort or another.  Though it wasn’t initially a big hit in its country of inception (Japan), it became almost an instant success the minute it hit American shores.  After that, everyone had “Pac-Man Fever”.

Merchandise for the pizza-inspired character went into overdrive – candy, board games, cereal, plushies, t-shirts.  TV shows at the time were known to air episodes that at least mentioned the game, and in some instances would have an episode’s plot center around someone playing it incessantly.  Pac-Man’s American distributor Midway got so cocky after the game’s success that they quickly cranked out several spin-offs over the next couple of years, much to the irritation of the game’s creator – Namco.  Despite the faux pas that forced Namco and Midway to eventually part ways, Pac-Man continued to grow in popularity, eventually becoming the world-recognized pop culture phenomenon it is today.

Where I grew up, pizza places seemed to be the venues that would generally have a video game console or two before arcades became widespread, making them almost like Disneyland to my young mind.  When our local Pizza Hut got its first Pac-Man machine, I remember staring at it in wonder.  Steering a little yellow guy through mazes while trying to avoid ghosts was something that was very relevant to my interests.  Already a video game addict by the time I was five, it didn’t take much to bug my parents for quarters.  And Pac-Man was no exception.

Didn’t take long for me to realize that I was terrible at the game.  Certainly didn’t stop me from cleaning out my parents’ pockets for small, silver Washingtons.  And I would continue to waste my parents’ change on that maze navigator for quite some time… at least, until another pill-popper with a bow came along and proved to be a better and more fun game to play.  And don’t even get me started on apes throwing barrels.

So that was your first taste of what’s to come for the summer.  Starting next week, be prepared to take that proverbial trip down memory lane.  Watch out for traffic.

The Don isn’t a system, he’s a man.  Though, that’s stretching it a bit.

I have to admit that I’m a wee bit off this week.  I feel a little disjointed, so to that end my thoughts are kind of a jumble.  I have ideas, but not enough to flesh them out to carry full articles on their own.

But never fear, my fellow Spwugnerians!  I can actually make this work for me.  In fact, it allows me to do the kind of articles I’ve found myself rather enjoying as of late.  So I bring you another installment of random bits that I affectionately refer to this week as “Bleeps, Sweeps, and Creeps”:

Iron Man 2

Got to see this over the weekend with DKM Marlink and a few other friends.  First, we watched the first film at my house, all the while making snide remarks about how Terrence Howard was going to be replaced later that evening when we got to the theater.  First film still holds up remarkably well.  It has to be one of my favorites, despite the weak third act.  As for the sequel?  Wow.  More of the same, and I mean that in a good way.  Downey Jr. proves once again that the talent is actually his and not from the drugs he lived in for years.  Cheadle was a great substitute for Howard in the role of James Rhodes.  Just a fun flick all over.  My only complaints were that the middle started to feel like it was plodding along (same complaint I had for The Dark Knight).  Plus, Mickey Rourke’s character kinda shows up in a blazing show-down, then takes a back seat for most of the film until the end.  Despite both flaws, the movie got back on its feet by the third act, which was a vast improvement over the first film.  Those who haven’t seen it – stay until after the end credits.  Just like Nick Fury’s spoiled surprise cameo at the end of the first Iron Man, there’s a cool little surprise at the end of this one (SPOILER ALERT: It’s Batroc the Leaper!*)

Farscape

I picked up the complete box set to the hit Sci-Fi (not SyFy) series Farscape about a month ago, and I’ve been pouring myself into it furiously.  I’m almost finished with the first season, and I’m impressed with just how well this show still holds up.  There’s definitely a reason why it was my favorite TV show during its run.  I’m falling in love with these characters all over again (I plan to ask them to marry me next week).  One of the things I like so much about the show is how much it captures the essence of what made the original Star Trek so great – a perfect mixture of straight-up action with episodes of weird crap happening to our main cast with a dash of some light sexiness.  Best feature on the DVD set so far?  Commentary by the creators and the two main cast members on an episode where they spend the entire running time explaining just why the episode is so abysmal.

Super Mario Bros. Galaxy 2

It’s almost here!  Are you ready?  Did you play the first one?  Weren’t the frikkin’ purple coin challenges hard?  How long has it been since you last played the first one?  Do you even remember whether or not you own a Wii?

Corkscrewed Over

Busch Gardens in Virginia, also known as Busch Gardens Europe, also known as The Belgians Were Bored With Just Being Known For Waffles So They Bought the Largest Brewery in America and This Park Got Thrown In For Free, also known as The Park That Had a Really Cool 3-D Ride in Ireland When Not Compared to Anything in Florida but Decided to Ditch it For a Non-3-D Borefest That Could Double as an Extended Promo for British Airways.

That’s a Reynolds Wrap!

Burt Reynolds has been cast as an ex-spy in the incredibly awesome TV series Burn Notice.  My greatest hope is that his cover name is Turd Fergeson.  And he wears a big cowboy hat.  ‘Cuz it’s funny.

Speaking of wrapping up…

The Don’s RADAR appears to be jammed.  Halle Berry.

*It’s totally not Batroc the Leaper!

I’m kind of taking the week off (but not really) since my birthday is this weekend.  That’s right, everyone – The Don wasn’t actually created in a test tube or grown in the forest of Pernalia.

Nope, I am 100 percent pure, old fashioned, home-grown human. Born free. Right here in the real world.

So, to celebrate being on this ball of rock and water for thirty-five revolutions around the sun, I’m going to list a couple of great geekeries that came out Anno Donini:

Jaws

One of the greatest horror films of all time, and the movie that put director Steven Spielberg on the map.  This movie’s influence was so impressive, that it literally forced an entire generation to rethink going “back into the water” (yes, I know that’s from Jaws 2, but I’m making a point).  With an impressive cast, the perfect amount of tension, and a cunning play on our fears, Jaws managed to work despite the fact that the shark quite often didn’t.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The film that started a cult phenomenon (doot-doo doo-doo-doot!).  Already a stage show by this time, the film opened to lackluster success.  But over time, Rocky Horror became something more.  Now known as the longest-running theatrical release in history, the movie continues to be shown regularly all over the world.  It’s even spawned its own culture.  Impressive for a movie about a guy wearing fishnets.

Betamax

Ah, poor Betamax – the little videotape that couldn’t.  Sony introduced the first home video system using this technology in 1975 with a price tag of over $2000.  Sadly, this would lead to the first in many “format wars” that would occur over the next thirty-five years.  Despite a higher quality in picture and sound, Beta’s smaller capacity caused it to lose to VHS (also, the porn industry chose VHS over Beta).  But in an interesting twist, most news channels around the country that haven’t gone full digital still use Beta tapes.

Musical Notes

Alice Cooper releases his first solo album – “Welcome to My Nightmare”, a concept album that takes the listener through the nightmares of a boy named Steven.  The stage show is considered one of the biggest stage spectacles of that decade.  And Drew Struzan, most notable for his movie poster work, designs the album cover.

Iron Maiden forms.  My friend Dan Taraschke, still a toddler at the time, starts rocking out for what seems like no reason.  He would find out later in life what exactly happened, helping to form the metal man he would one day become.

Peter Gabriel leaves Genesis.  Oddly, both end up doing better career-wise.  Fans of the original line-up are still butt-hurt to this day.

Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” hits number one in the charts.  Wayne’s World fans have to wait seventeen years to find out what all the hubbub is about.

The Pearly Gates

The Altair 8800 is released, introducing the first microcomputer.  Bill Gates and Paul Allen develop the programming language BASIC and start a little company that, for some reason, never went anywhere called Micro Soft.  I wonder what happened to those guys.

“Live, From New York…”

Saturday Night Live debuted in October under the name “NBC’s Saturday Night”.  Featuring a much looser format, the show featured its original “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” in comedy skits that poked fun at pop culture, politics, and pretty much everything else, as well as more musical segments, stand up, and even a segment that featured new Muppets created by Jim Henson.  The first episode was hosted by comic legend George Carlin, with first appearance by Andy Kaufman.  The show continues to this day, much to the surprise of a lot of people.

Blip…Blip…

Atari released its first console game through Sears – PONG!  My parents actually owned one of the original consoles, and at the time it was some innovative stuff.  Of course, attention spans were a lot longer back in the seventies, so a game where a white dot bounces back and forth between two white lines could entertain someone for quite a long time.  Nowadays, anything less than tons of blood, boobs and hundreds of hours of gameplay is considered a baby’s toy.

That’s all I got for this week.  Yes, I know there are probably plenty more I could have included, but these are the ones that stand out most to me.  Oh, and as an added bonus, you can now find me on movie website CHUD!  I’ve recently been taken on as one of the official CHUD Bloggers, so if you can stomach more than a dose of me a week, you can find more entries there.  In fact, I already have an entry up this week!

Now, as the thirty-five year old in me would say – “Get off my lawn!”

The Don needs a warm glass of milk and a nap.

I dunno what it is, but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about TRON: Legacy.  Between the viral marketing, watching the original a couple of weekends ago with Krellion, and the latest trailer that I shared with you last week, the new film has quickly become one of my most-highly anticipated releases of 2010.  I’ve even made screencaps (horizontal Olivia Wilde on a glowing couch for the win!) from the trailer to use as wallpaper for my laptop.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t even come out until mid-December.

Great Scott!

It hasn’t helped that details on the film have been few and far between.  That is, until recently…

A couple of days ago, Quint at Ain’t It Cool News was finally able to post a portion of his experiences at a press junket for the film that he attended last year.  Within that report he was able to share a slew of juicy little nuggets about the film.  There are a few of them that have particularly piqued my interest:

Clu is back. And he isn’t quite the good guy we saw in the first film.  Producer Sean Bailey describes him as “Clu version 2.0”.  Current buzz is that he may actually be the one running things in the computer world this time around, not modern Flynn.  Either way, 1982 Jeff Bridges looks incredible, and we may just see a showdown between both Flynns.  You have to be some kind of crazy to not want to see that happen in the new film.

The new TRON suits are a completely new design. For anyone who has seen and remembers the first film, in order to get the glowy circuitry effects on the original outfits, each actor wore a white suit with the circuitry design stenciled on.  All of the computer world scenes were shot in black and white, with the light effects added in post through rotoscoping.  This made for a unique and cool effect.  The new suits are actually black rubber with the lighting effects done in real time on the suits themselves.  This is achieved through a new, rubberized lamp that is flexible enough to move with the wearer.  The actors actually light up during filming.  This is necessary because the computer world scenes are being shot in 3D, and rotoscoping is difficult to add to a 3D shot in post-production.  Frankly, the live lighting is one of the aspects of the new film the really gets me excited.  We’re already seeing animated light-up T-shirts and other apparel on geek sites and in pop culture stores.  How soon before clothing stores start incorporating the flexi-lamp tech into their merchandise?

The color-coding has been updated. In the original film, it was more or less established that the good guys were blue and the bad guys were red/orange.  In the original screen-play for TRON, the good guys were yellow while the villains were blue.  Shortly after the film was shot, this was changed to the red/blue distinctions.  But if you notice, there are a couple of shots in the first film that still reflect the old color scheme.  In Legacy, the color palette for the goods and bads have been updated, almost in an amalgam of the conflicting choices in the first movie: evil is represented by oranges and yellows, while the protagonists are highlighted by whites, greens and blues.  I think this will be one of the things that symbolizes the evolution Encom’s computer world has gone through since the events of the first film almost thirty years prior.

TRON the game exists in the movie universe. A friend of mine watched the trailer the other day and was a little irked that Flynn’s son discovers a hidden room behind a TRON game cabinet.  Problem was, there was never a TRON game in the original film.  TRON was the name of Alan’s program, to be used as a security program.  And to some degree, my friend is correct.  However, before all of my fellow geeks cry out in geek terror over such a frivolous and irresponsible error on the side of meta, check out the official Encom website.  There is a timeline of events established that incorporate the first and second film, as well as all the events before and in between.  According to the timeline, Flynn did indeed create a TRON game a year after the events that occurred in the first film.  It apparently became an even bigger hit than Space Paranoids, Flynn’s previous gaming success.  So, relax.  It looks like the writers did their homework.  You can have your meta and play it too.

The computer world in the film is an isolated net. If you remember from the first movie, the world of TRON was a private network on Encom’s mainframe.  The MCP at one point even told his user Dillinger that he wanted access to the mainframes of each country’s government so he could run things better.  According to the info made available at the press junket, Legacy’s computer world is also an isolated net created by Flynn and hosted on 1989 servers.  It has evolved and grown over the past twenty-plus years.  Whether this new world is based off of Encom’s original mainframe or a brand new creation remains to be seen.  Either way, I kinda prefer the idea of it being its own isolated realm.  I think the story could have gotten too unwieldy and overwhelming if these characters were playing around in our world wide web.  This way, Flynn and Clu will be much more fun to watch playing around in a universe that has a slightly claustrophobic feel to it, giving the moviegoer more tension to chew on.

Fans of Bladerunner should at least enjoy the movie stylistically. Syd Mead, who designed the world Decker got to chase replicants down in also did the design work for TRON and Legacy.  So, expect a dark film with a lot of Bladerunner influences.  I think that stylistic choice should fit this new film perfectly.  It’s one of the major aspects of Legacy I’m really looking forward to.

And if none of the above is enough to get you excited, I leave you with this (didn’t I mention this?):

(You can embiggen it.)

The Don feels a presence.  Another warrior is on the mesa.  Oh, it’s just a C.O.W.-Boy.

There’s an old saying where I come from, and it goes something like this:

“If you can’t come up with a Spwug article for the week, just make something up.”

How anyone in my home town even knew there would ever be a web site called Spwug some day in the future is a riddle that we may never solve (radiation spill).  Be that as it may, today it just happens to be good advice.  I’m having a frazzleweek (not to be confused with a Fraggle Rock) this week, and it’s making it tough to come up with anything substantial to offer.  So instead, I once again break out the odds and ends that I have come across over the past couple of days, plop them all into a stew pot, add some seasonings, stir, and serve it to you with some blue milk, courtesy of the charred corpse of Aunt Beru.

What?  It’s not like the Lars family was going to be drinking it anymore.  It was just sitting there on the table.

Megaman 10 is out.  Rockman continues to cry at the injustice.

For those of us still clinging to the nostalgia of our 80s roots (and who really isn’t these days?) and were feeling a little like we got repeatedly crotch-punched by the last fanboy-pleasing offering, Capcom once again gives us the retro-NES-looking goodness of Megaman 10.  While the last installment offered Proto as DLC, this time he comes ready-to-play, with Bass being the DLC character this time around.  All of the graphic and gameplay charm of 9 returns, but this time you can save yourself a cranial bruising from beating your head against the wall – Megaman 10 includes an “easy mode”.  Meanwhile, the Japanese continue to laugh at us while they exist in their superior universe.

Final Fantasy XIII also came out this week.  World buckles at the contradiction.

I stopped playing this series a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away…), sometime after X or XI or XVIC or whatever that one was with the different characters (stupid Roman numerals).  I’ve read that there have been a few changes, one of which is that the battle system is set up similar to Advent Children.  I’ve heard mixed feedback.  A few of my friends seem to enjoy it, while a few others do not.  And still a few other others are still wondering how there are thirteen of them when it’s the “Final Fantasy” (and even more when you count the spin-offs).  I still maintain that three six is the best one Square has ever done, and they will never be able to top just how well that game is.

The new Tron Legacy trailer is online.

Some of you may be a wee bit too young to remember the movie that put CG animation on the map and laid the groundwork for what Spielberg, Cameron, and Pixar are doing today in film.  Tron didn’t pull in a very large box office when it opened back in 1982, but it has since gained a cult following – enough of one that Disney finally greenlit a sequel last year.  Jumping on the viral marketing bandwagon, Disney has kept the details scarce on this new movie, but has made discovering the details rather fun and exciting.  Most recently, people around the world had the opportunity to go on hide-and-seek missions to find an individual wearing a “Flynn Lives” t-shirt in several major cities around the globe.  The reward?  Exclusive swag, and the ability to unlock an online page that featured dates and locations for a “secret” showing of the new trailer for Tron Legacy.  For those who could stand to wait a few extra days, the trailer went online for everyone this week.  And it is badass.

Speaking of movie trailers…

I’ve got two words for you: “briefcase armor”:

Click here to view the embedded video.

One of these things is not like the other…

Word has it that John Krasinski has landed the role of Captain America for the new Marvel film.  You may know him from the American version of “The Office”.  The rest of you may know him as the guy completely wrong for the part.

And that concludes this broadcast day!  I know I said before that I would be making stuff up, but I decided not to… or, at least not entirely.  One of the things I mentioned above is not at all true (or is close to the truth but not true).  Can you figure out which one?  Ooohh!  Puzzles!  I’m guessing that this one won’t be enough of a challenge to keep you busy until next Thursday, will it?

Probably not.

There’s nothing special about The Don.  He’s just an ordinary program.

I’d like to preface this with the statement that, despite how I may paint it, this is NOT a 100% bad, awful, icky film. However, I don’t think it’s worth the cost of a full-price ticket. I’ll tell you right now, wait until this flick hits the dollar theatres, or else get it off Netflix later. It’s worth seeing at least once, but you’re really not missing anything if you opt to just watch it on the small screen.

And so, let us proceed with my take on Alice in EmoWonderland.

In case you hadn’t guessed from this entry so far, the movie was awash in emo. The original books were rather dark in nature, but I don’t recall them being a wannabe-goth teen’s “moist sleep-vision.” What you get from this movie is the Mad Hatter and his tea party guests mourning the loss of the old days before the Red Queen took over their fair land and turned it into a grey, foggy, overcast, post-apocalyptic wasteland. Very little action to be had. A lot of depressed people shuffling around acting depressed because their lives are depressing, and it depresses them.

The happily-absurd dialogue that made the books so endearing was almost entirely stricken from the film, leaving the audience with nothing but the ever-present emo to cling onto. An attempt at the entertaining insanity of the original stories was made with the Mad Hatter, but it seems the film’s writers confused “constantly-changing accent” with “mental instability.” One second Johnny Depp wath thlurring hith wordth juth like thith; the next, he was breaking into a brogue that lay somewhere between Ireland and Scotland; the next-next, he was attempting to sound like a classic English gentleman. And his behaviour, ranging from childlike whimsy to nearly homicidal, combined with his creepy fixation on Alice that apparently began when he met her as a six-year-old girl, just made many of us in my group uncomfortable. The only character that really captured the story’s original spirit was the happily-macabre, cheeky Cheshire Cat, voiced by Stephen Fry, who had a chuckle-inducing obsession with the Mad Hatter’s hat, to the point of repeatedly asking to inherit it on the eve of the Hatter’s intended–and of course failed–execution. But the Cat had hardly any face time in the movie at all (and I don’t mean that his face was just invisible, either).

The scenery was, as I just mentioned, pretty much all drab, done in greys and browns, with the exception of a few garden scenes. The Red Queen’s palace was cast in deep reds and browns that still somehow managed to look muted. The only colour that wasn’t washed out was in the White Queen’s domain, where bright pink cherry blossom trees and white castle walls offered a little bit o’ fresh air, a nice break from the greyness of the rest of the environment. And with the exception of the White Queen’s realm, most of the buildings in the movie were decayed and crumbling, another nod to the whole “post-apocalyptic wasteland” theme that is so overdone in modern popular media. The Red Queen is BAD for the realm. We GET it, okay? We got it within the first five minutes of Alice’s trip down the rabbit-hole!

This is pretty much the most colour you’ll see in the setting for about 90% of the movie.

And as if to drive in the depressing point that this ain’t your grandmother’s Wonderland even further, the movie informs us that the name of the realm is actually UNDERland, and Alice just misheard it. (Being a Venture Bros. fan, I was VERY disappointed that Baron Ünderbheit didn’t show up at this point, hehe. At least he would’ve introduced some ACTION into Underland.)

The story is almost nonexistent. I’d include a spoiler warning, but there’s not enough substance to this movie’s story for it to HAVE spoilers. The adult Alice runs away from an undesirable suitor who’s just proposed and falls down the rabbit hole to the fantasy land she visited as a child. Everyone tells her she’s going to kill the Jabberwocky, she insists she’s not going to kill the Jabberwocky, but then she decides she IS going to kill the Jabberwocky after all. Then she kills the Jabberwocky and immediately goes home. The end. There are no surprises, no plot twists. Pretty much every plot point can be seen coming from the moment the relevant character is introduced. The main aim of the movie is supposed to be how Alice stops doing what others want her to do and learns to make her own choices…by doing exactly what everyone wants her to do in fighting the Jabberwocky. Yeah, I didn’t really get it either.

Also, Burton claims this film is his take on the books, not a sequel. But it’s made clear in the movie that it takes place after the books because Alice has already BEEN to W/Underland and had the adventures we know and love from the stories and various film adaptations. So, um. Dude, it’s a sequel. And giving a sequel the same name as the original usually has (the full title of the first book being Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) rather confused me at first since I went into the film content-blind.

Now, maybe this bit is coming too little too late, but I wanted to end on a high–well, highER–note, and re-state that I didn’t flat-out hate the movie. Drabness aside, the visuals are otherwise appealing, with that twisted quality in both characters and environment that is immediately identifiable as Tim Burton’s touch. Some of the CG stands out as CG, such as horses that don’t move quite like real horses, but most of it is so well-done that the little kinks don’t matter. I may not be a huge fan of most of the guy’s movies, but I do love the special effects that get stuck into his films.

Stephen Fry makes a brilliant Cheshire Cat. Alan Rickman as the Caterpillar is just perfect, and I really wish we’d gotten to see more of him. And Christopher Lee as the voice of the Jabberwocky? Lee excels in everything he does, so I’ve no complaints here! Anne Hathaway, the White Queen, was JUST the right amount of sugary-sweet and twisted, making her one of the more interesting protagonists.

Look, I know the good points about this movie are mostly superficial, but sometimes that’s all you need. I think it’s worth seeing at least once–just not at full ticket price, a sentiment that was shared by the other ten people in my group. What story there IS is too depressing to appeal to children, but too nonexistent to appeal to adults. I think the flick was best summed up by something that happened when the eleven of us were standing outside the theatre afterwards. One of my friends remarked, “Y’know, if I was an emo wannabe-goth teenager, I’d probably think that movie was the bomb diggity or whatever.” At that moment, a group of teenagers came out of the theatre, decked out in black fishnet stockings far too tight for their chunky legs and wearing the Hot Topic version of black goth-gear (which is to say, not goth AT ALL). One was wearing a red velvet crown; another wearing a solid black miniature top hat to mimic the Mad Hatter’s, trimmed with black lace and black fake raven feathers. The group was talking rather enthusiastically about the film…well, mainly about how hot Johnny Depp was. Folks, I do believe we’ve identified the movie’s target audience.

Watch this movie as a way to kill some time and ogle some interesting graphics. And the movie did have its funny moments when it wasn’t on the verge of slitting its own wrists. I’d say, watch this one at home with a group of friends and some good food, and don’t hold back on the MST3K commentary. You’ll likely get much more out of it than you would in the theatre.

Tune in next time, when I’ll probably ruin someone else’s childhood!

P.S. Spwug’s own Donnie Sturges recommended this hi-larious link to me, and I think it’s a fine way to end this post. From College Humor: Tim Burton’s Secret Formula.