Greetings, Dream Warriors!

First off, I want to take a moment to celebrate my 20^th article with Spwug!

Okay, moment over.

Now, if memory serves, I believe I said last week that I would do something resembling a con report for my trip to Horrorfind last weekend.

You asked for it.

This year, instead of being at the Hunt Valley Inn in Baltimore, the festivities were moved to the UMUC Marriott Inn and Conference Center in Adelphi, Maryland.  This would prove to be the con’s undoing over the weekend.

“Why?” you ask, in what has become a regular staple of our time together.

To put it bluntly, I was severely disappointed.

Let me break it down for you:

One of the things that didn’t quite hit me immediately when we got there, but which began to permeate through me as the weekend wore on, is that the atmosphere didn’t seem right.  One of the things I loved about Horrorfind at the Hunt Valley Inn was that everywhere you went, there were decorations, costumes, tables set up to peddle wares of dark design – all of these  constant reminders that one was forehead-deep in the middle of all that is horror.  The Hunt Valley Inn was small and cozy enough that you couldn’t turn anywhere without soaking in the ambiance.  It was everywhere - from the autograph room brimming with celebrities of the horror genre, to movie screens showing a fine mixture of cheesy and horrifying fright fests, to the dealers’ room that spilled out into the halls with curiosities and items of novelty that put the Hallowe’en displays in Spencer’s to shame.  There was even a haunted house set up within one of the hotel rooms that put your typical spook houses to shame.  You could wrap the convention around you like a blanket, and it was warm with delicious evil.

Sadly, the Conference Center in Adelphi was missing all of that.  It was a much larger building, so all of the different events were spread out considerably.  The halls were rather large, stark and cold.  No decorations other than the tape and skulls used to direct unsuspecting attendees to their tickets of disappointment.  There were a couple of tables placed out in the halls here and there, but it was a non-existent attempt at a sinister décor.  The movie screens were shoved out of the way and hidden into side rooms, and the dealers’ room seemed like a pale reflection of itself.  Once littered with treasures and prizes of the macabre, now the tables seemed uninteresting.  I barely bought anything the entire weekend.

That’s probably a good thing, as the other problem with the convention this year was that a good number of the guests this year jacked their prices up enough to make you wallet shriek in agony.  I ended up only getting pictures and autographs from Roddy Piper (John Carpenter’s They Live), Chris Sarandon (The Princess Bride, Fright Night), and Michael Biehn (The Terminator, Aliens, Tombstone).  That was pretty much all I could afford, as each one of them charged $25 for an autograph, plus an extra $25 to have your picture taken with them (in Piper’s case, it was only an extra $10).  This was quite a mark-up from the standard 15 – 20 bucks for both.  Now, it turns out that almost all of the regular staples of Horrorfind (Ken Foree, Dee Wallace, Sid Haig) kept their prices reasonable.  Problem is, I had already gotten all of them at previous cons.

So, I sucked it up as I blew about $135 on three celebs, noting that the lines for each of them varied from very short to non-existent.  This was a complete 180 from past conventions, when all of the big guests would have lines with at least an hour-long wait.

Sucks about them gas prices, hunh guys?

The only saving grace for the entire weekend was the time I spent hanging out with the Darkstone Entertainment folks.  You know, the independent film company who made a movie not too long ago that I got to be a zombie in?  I pretty much spent the entire weekend at their table, helping them promote stuff, picking their brains, and providing a sound board for film ideas.  It was a blast getting to hang out with them all weekend.

Of course, the best part was getting to watch the premiere of Skeleton Key 3, the movie I had the privilege to be a part of.  For two hours I sat with a good-sized crowd as we laughed and applauded a fun and crazy new entry in John Johnson’s SK series.  It was quite surreal to see myself in blue make-up, trying to eat brains on the big screen.

So yeah… my Horrorfind experience for this year.  Not the pinnacle of fun.  Again, if it wasn’t for the enjoyment I had with the Darkstone crew, this past weekend would have been a total bust.  I may have seriously considered not going back.  I’ve certainly decided that I’m not bothering with autographs next year if the prices continue to be that high.  As it stands, I plan on returning next year, if only to pimp with the D once again.  If my audition with them this Sunday goes well, I may become a permanent fixture.

Oh yeah, I suppose I should show you pictures.  I mean, they’re only worth $25 each ($10 in Piper’s case).  May as well make good use of them:

We’re here to kick ass and chew gum.  And I’m all out of money.

My father’s final words were, “Charge him $50 for a picture and an autograph.”

There’s no fate but what you make.  And it costs $50.

 
I leave you now on a high note:  the Friday of the con, my friend Dan took me to this really cool retro toy shop in Ellicott City, Maryland called All Time Toys.  This place was awesome!  It was like my entire childhood was on display for me to behold!  All the classic toys I grew up with – Transformers, G.I. Joe, Star Wars, The Real Ghostbusters, He-Man, Visionaries, and more – were there to be purchased.  Some toys were loose, some in their original packaging.  All of them were reasonably priced.  It was amazing!  This guy had everything!  And what he didn’t have at the store, he had in storage and could get it for you.  He told us that he had enough stock, collected over several years, to fill a K-Mart.  He also had this on display:

And he had just sold it for $5K!

Man, I would love to have my own Han Solo in carbonite.  Maybe I can afford one the next time I stop by there if I stop spending money on celebrities.

The Don is alive… and in perfect inebriation.

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Ever been within inches of a passing semi truck on a busy freeway, whipping past at 70 mph? Even in your car, you get thrown around like a leaf? Yeah, that was SDCC for the remainder of the weekend.

While I’d love to share pics, I’m still on borrowed time — my flight back home departs TODAY, thus I can write to you all, but I have roughly 500 pictures to sort, weed out and organize into a functional blog. In the meantime, let me tell you all — California rolled out the red carpet, and I had THE BEST — excuse me, *ahem* THE BEST time at a convention since the Blizzard of 2003 during Katsucon. That’s no small feat.

This was geek Mecca. Direct your prayers of Dr. Horrible and new episodes of Eureka just south of the setting sun, folks. While no show is perfect, and Murphy’s Laws prevail, I will say that the positives of the experience far, FAR outweigh the negatives. In other words, don’t feel bad. Everyone else is broke too.

So, in the meantime (while I’m 30,000 in the air for several hours) here’s my take on:  FIVE THINGS I LEARNED FROM SDCC.

(1): No one in their right mind should ever move an event or convention from San Diego. It’s PRIME real estate. I’m not the man behind the wheel, so there’s no telling what the future holds — but I will say that San Diego embraced the convention with open arms, and there was PLENTY to do and see beyond the convention walls. Go to lunch at the Tin Fish restaurant. Get around on the trolleys. Check out the best damned reuben ever at The Field.  Speaking of fields, the Padres play at Petco Park right up the street (say what you like about the Padres.)  Even the train station is a photo op waiting to happen!

(2): Your Mileage May Vary.  And oh, did I rack up a few.  Now, you can actually stop and get a breather throughout a good portion of the con, you just have to be… creative about it.  And not have any hangups about sitting on cold floors, corners of huge displays or just around the corner of an artist table.

(3): You have to be extra special, determined or crazy (or maybe a heady combination of the three) to actually get the Rare Collectable Merchandise Given Out Only At The Con Wherein You Must Stand In Line For Several Hours For The CHANCE To Get It.

(4): Besides, there are scores of people hired just to hand out free flyers.  Save the earth, collect them all!  I bet you could fill a phone book with all the mini posters, cards, flyers, and extra bits.

(5): Some personal tips to share with you all:

-Bring a camera, and break a bank book on batteries.

-When you’re done packing, open your bags again, take out half the stuff you packed.  You’re not going to need it.

-Say “yes” to whatever absurd means it takes to get there, short of risk to person or possessions.  This place is worth it.

-Water.

-Plan ahead.  There is for even the regular attendees, four whole days worth of events to attend and people to see, things to buy (or have a conniption over whether TO buy) and while you CAN do it all in a day, if you’re around for the whole thing, space it out.  Get some rest.  Eat hearty.  Because TONIGHT WE DINE IN — *ahem*

I’ll be back with photos, folks!  Sorry for the delay, but right now it’s time for me to say goodbye to perpetually sunny San Diego!

(Oh yeah, and there was an earthquake yesterday.  Most bizarre damned thing I’ve ever experienced.)

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Greetings, Sith Lords!

This week I wanted to change things up a little bit and show you these really awesome collectible figures that everyone should be into.

They’re cute, they’re poseable, they’re MiniMates!

I’ve been collecting these amazing things since they first started coming out. As you can see, there are several different properties being made into MiniMates these days. It all started with Marvel. Eventually DC jumped on board, and now almost any property, from Back to the Future to Clint Eastwood westerns, are getting the MiniMate treatment.

Hey. No fighting please.

Hey! What the hell?!? I said no figh—

Oh dear God.

Somebody help! They’ve gone berserk! Oh crap! Now Banner’s ticked!

Oh dear Lord! Somebody please stop this! And where’s Daredevil?

Oh no. Hulk! Watch out! Did I mention that when DC joined the MiniMate club, that they were the first to make large-sized MiniMates?

Gah! That’s not good. And Grodd made my camera unfocus!

Grodd! Look—

*sigh* Nevermind. Can this get any worse?

SWEET JEEBUS!!!! ZOMBIES!!!!

I… I can’t look anymore. I think I need to go lay down. Oh Lord, the carnage…

Oh wait… There’s Daredevil now! You survived! Hey - you don’t look so good, pal.

Dude! What are you doing?!? You need to get out of there! Don’t just kneel–

Um… yeah. I think we’re done here. I’m gonna go now before anyone discovers this.
MINIMATES RULE!

The Don is a little bit country, and little bits of plastic.

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Greetings, Highlanders!

Gonna be another short installment this week. My wife and I moved into our new home over this past weekend, and now the unpacking begins. And that is going extremely slooow…

That’s why I’m glad I purchased my very own Flux Capacitor.

“What’s that?” you say? (Aren’t these made-up dialogues between us fun?) Well, let me tell you, over the past couple of years I’ve acquired the irresistible urge to buy authentic, prop replicas. It started with the Master Replicas Lightsabers (of which I own six), worked its way over to Thor’s Hammer from Marvel Comics (Mjolnir for those in the know), and has recently made its way to my newest purchase:

The Flux Capacitor.

That’s right, the device created by one Doctor Emmett L. Brown and used (and abused) repeatedly by his young friend – one Martin S. McFly.

And this sucker’s fully functional (No, this sucker’s electrical). Just 3 AAA batteries and this awesome piece of memorabilia does what it was best known for – fluxing.

And now that I have one of my very own, I intend to use it to go back in time to get all of this unpacking done…before I even started.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

….

But first I need to get me a DeLorean.

The Don is your density. No, that’s not a slip of the tongue.

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Greetings, Replicants!

First, a quick shout-out to Aqws.  He knew what it was to be roasted in the belly of the Sloar that day, I can tell you.  Good job, man!

Second, today’s installment will be shorter than you are used to.  There, there.  No need to get upset.  I’ve got a good reason, I promise.

 
I’m moving.

 
Yep.  My wonderful, geeky wife and I are moving on up to the east side, out of our current dregs and into our first purchased home!  We’re leaving that silly apartment life behind, I tells ya!  Goodbye mile-walks carrying groceries and noisy neighbors, hello quiet suburbia and Dijon ketchups!

So, you may be wondering, “Does this rambling have a point?”  What I want to pretend you are wondering is, “How is moving different for a fine, upstanding geek like yourself in comparison to some sad, deprived dude who never knew the joy of Saturday Supercade?”

I’m glad I pretended you asked!

For a 33 year-old (shaddap) geek, moving will look slightly different to an outsider.  Let’s take a look at how:

 See you again next week, when I’ll be writing from my new home!

The Don likes the way you move.  Out of his neighborhood.

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Man, what a difference a week makes, eh? Crybringer here, for your Wednesday update.

It’s really tough to pin down any one thing to talk about, since a number of events and activities are centered around this time of year. It’s a funny sort of gravitational effect, from the cemented traffic lanes, crowded stores, busy busy busy blog posts, new releases, re-releases, private and personal get-togethers, and then of course the Big C. I mean, Comiket. Did I mention how excited I was for Comiket?!

So, coining my blog stylings from the esteemed Sports Guy of ESPN, here’s a geek’s bullet list of random events and points-of-interest. I might actually use text bullets!

• Last weekend was an EXCELLENT movie double-header. “I Am Legend”, starring Will Smith was a sensationally bleak ride for the first half. Although purists who were expecting Vincent Price, The Omega Man or a cinematic transcription of the book have plenty to boo about, the movie actually manages to command a degree of subtlety that most disaster or post-apocalyptic movies lose in the sturm-of-FX and drang-of-bad-dialogue. I think this review encapsulates the feeling. Spoiler-free, methinks. But following that was a rediscovered little brit-crime gem; “Layer Cake”, starring James Bon– I mean Daniel Craig. Bloody cool and visually sleek, just like the dialogue, but with smart pacing and a few legitimate twists. Excellent work, considering we never learn the lead character’s name. You can find it on DVD for a reasonable price and I DEFINITELY recommend it as a movie buff stocking stuffer this season.
• While everyone else in the gaming world is Rock Band-ing out, the nostalgic charm and soulful stylings of old arcade games still gets me moving. As a die-hard shoot ‘em up fan (You kids don’t know the meaning of “mob” unless it consists of 200+ projectiles ALL AIMING AT YOU!) , this “Shooting Game Historica” just makes my heart swell two sizes. A palm-sized Vic Viper? You shouldn’t have, Santa.
• One of my favorite artists, “o_8″ I rediscovered recently, was really generous in allowing me to join in some networked doodling sessions over OpenCanvas. It’s a slick little program, and for those artistically inclined, it’s far and away better than simple text chatting. For best results, use a tablet (another gift suggestion, AMIRITE?)
• A holiday tradition of mine, I’m actually breaking this year. It was this time, five years ago that I made a pact to read a good book over the holidays. I mean, I was at my parents house, adrift and far far away from a solid internet connection, quiet spot to draw or even a decent cellphone signal! What else was there? (oh yeah food.) Bruce Sterling’s “Holy Fire” kicked things off, then it was a double dose of Mark Roger’s “Samurai Cat” series. Did a run through some old Robotech/Macross US novelizations too! Now, I’m without a heavy dose of cyberpunk or satirical pop-culture slaying to drown out the Christmas carols! Who’s got some winners?!
• Lastly, let me wish you all the best this coming holiday — I’ll be back per usual on BOXING DAY, the worst single day of any retail grunt’s existence. Don’t let the horror stories fool you about Black Friday. It’s the returns after Christmas that carve a trail of tears into a part-timer’s soul. So please everyone, be safe, be happy, be Merry, and be extra nice and understanding to both your friends, family and those downtrodden soldiers of the cash registers! Their sacrifice might get you a replacement Rock Band!

(Be back with a festive pic in tow later today! >_<)

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I love giant robots.  But sometimes, you have to step back and think about you’re watching when you watch giant robots beat the ever-living crap out of each other.  And at that moment, you realize just how silly and stupid the giant robot genre is.  Not that I’m complaining, of course - the sillier and stupider a show gets, the more enjoyable it can be (I liked Sousei no Aquarion, that’s about as stupid as you go).

One of my favorite mecha anime traditions, one that truly screams “Yes, this is at once cool and totally ludicrous,” is a wonderful fictional weapon known as the pile bunker.

It exists almost exclusively in giant robot fiction, and is nothing more than a large, sometimes exposively or electrically powered spike.  It’s usually stuck onto the arm of a robot (though in a few awesome cases, it comes out of the robo-crotch) and is used to deliver giant robot gut punches.  Its first appearance was in Armored Trooper VOTOMS in the ’80s, and it caught the imagination of enough mecha designers that it’s lived on in the 25 years since VOTOMS first introduced the concept.  You can find pile bunkers in everything from Armored Core to Final Fantasy VII and Guilty Gear.

But why is it so popular?  Its not a particularly stylish weapon.  It’s the technological equivalent of a plank with a nail stuck in it.  If a society has mastered bipedal mechanics, laser weaponry, and other highly advanced technologies, you’d think they could give their robots laser beam eyes, particle cannons, heat rays, or at least some Macross-style beer can rockets.  And yet, people’s imaginations get fired up at the thought of a big ol’ nail on a stick.

I figure that the pile bunker owes its popularity to its primitive nature.  Sure, people can appreciate outer space dogfights with beam rifles and drunk missiles, but when you get down to it, people like the hands-on approach on a visceral level.  And when firefights start to look the same, the most satisfying thing you can possibly watch is a good ol’ punch to the breadbasket.

Take the Baldr series as an example (I won’t blame you if you haven’t played it, it’s never been translated and never will be, what with the porn and all).  In Baldr Force, combat takes place entirely in cyberspace, so Shumicram weapon loadouts are a matter of whatever you want to assign a button to.  Wave motion cannons?  Satellite lasers?  Anti-air missiles?  They all just materialize on your robot when you need them, ready to wreak havoc.  But the pile bunker gets special treatment in that game: the action starts to move in slow motion, the camera zooms in, and the screen freezes at the moment your giant metal spike comes into contact with the enemy with an oh-so-satisfying “CLANG” noise.

The Super Robot Wars series makes the pile bunker seem even more ridiculously outdated and savagely satisfying.  The Alt Eisen comes equipped with a pile bunker attached to a giant revolver, and even its pilot admits that the whole setup looks pretty stupid.  You can see the results on this convenient Youtube video, starting at 0:36.

Does it look silly?  Of course it does.  But is it fun to imagine driving a giant stake into someone else’s robot, hearing the crash of heavy metal and a few gratuitous explosions?

Hell yes.

Tell me what your favorite  “this has no business being here but it feels SO GOOD” weapon is in fantasy or science fiction - next week, I talk about another ludicrous fiction, the osananajimi.

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As I browsed my shelves and shelves of figures, thinking of what figure to talk about next, and listening to “God Knows….” by Hirano Aya; it occurred to me that one of my figures is not like the others. Yes, they’re all adorable and dangerous; but I only own one whose clothes can be removed. While thinking to myself that this was something I should rectify, it also caused me to wonder why I could remove the skirt from this one in particular…

I have a habit of buying figures simply based on the fact that I like them. This has caused many better informed friends to break the news that what I like is from eroge. I tend to shrug and move on then, with intents to get it anyway when they weren’t around.

Which brings me to the figure I’m going to talk about:

This is Hikaru from the eroge Peace@Pieces by Unison Shift.

Netting more information about the game caused a couple issues for me, one of them being entirely my fault and the other something that could only be rectified after years of study. After mistyping Piece@Peaces into a search engine multiple times, I finally face-palmed and inputted its proper name. First issue solved. Second issue, all the pages that could contain relevant information about it are in Japanese. While I could look at the page all day and enjoy the way the characters look, it has gotten me no closer to having any idea what is on the page. I’ve therefore called in an expert, who had this to say, “The Pieces are essentially shinigami who come to earth as part of their training and collect wayward souls. The main character is accidentally shot by Hikaru when she is chasing down a soul and weird things start happening to him. Hikaru’s role is pretty much to be cute, earnest, and clumsy.” When asked where the naughty stuff comes in, my source responded with, “It’s how they restore their magic power.”

Moving on…this is another really lovely figure from Alter. When it comes to quality, you really can’t get much better, though I could just be an Alter Fangirl because they produce so many of my beloved Kos-Mos figures; but that’s a whole other issue. This figure features a removable skirt, highly detailed painting, and intricate guns that read ‘truth’ and ‘lies’. The amount of detail on the figure is really astounding from the painting of the guns to the bow on her pantsu.

Go pick this one up to see for yourself and if you leave the skirt on, then no one has to know it’s from eroge.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about great toys lately. I realize that this might be something odd for a 24 year old chef to do; but you should never really grow out of loving toys. With any luck though you’re taste in them will just become more sophisticated. Long since have the days of pining for Megazords passed onto an irrational love of cute anime girls with large weapons, great movement, and an abundance of ego. But where to start? There is a literal pantheon of figures out there and browsing a figure vendor’s site would cause immediate bankruptcy as you would buy every lovely thing you see. Might I suggest that you start with The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya?

Not only is this a lovely and brilliant anime, it also confused television viewers worldwide by intentionally airing episodes out of sequence. What is shown as Episode 01 is actually Episode 11. Causing further confusion, in the ‘coming soon’ blurb at the end of each episode, Haruhi Suzumiya gives the chronologically correct number of the next episode and Kyon “corrects” her by giving the episode that corresponds to the order it is being shown in.

Back to the matter at hand though. There are many lovely Haruhi figures to choose from because making them is more legal than printing money and has the same effect. I suggest that you begin your collection with this one.

Not only is it full of action and beautifully crafted and painted; but it is also on its third printing. I don’t know how many runs will be done before the figure it is retired; but I personally did not want to take any chances and have snatched up one from its second printing.

Display this proudly on your desk at work or home to the envy of fellow employees/roommates and enjoy Haruhi telling you every day that today will be an “Adventure, right? Right?” or she’ll put you in a bunny outfit.

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