Archive for the 'webcomics' Category

Webcomic Review (Finally!): Backward Compatible

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Did you miss webcomic reviews after the untimely death of my last computer? So did I! Luckily, I’ve been workin’ hard on getting new review notes compiled since then, and I now have some fruits of my labours. So let’s jump right in on this Review After the Fact….

Maybe you’re a gamer, but you find most gaming comics too vulgar or violent or absurd. I don’t share this problem, but I’m sure someone has it out there. So, if you’re looking for a less R-rated gaming comic, would you be interested in reading the archives of one that manages to be family-friendly while not dumbing down the content in the slightest? Then keep reading!

As many of you already know, CrispyGamer.com recently decided to shoot itself in both feet, then the head for good measure (or overkill; I’m not sure where the brains of that operation actually were located when all this was going on). Staff canned, CEO gone, and, most importantly to this article, comics unceremoniously terminated. One of those was Aaron Williams’ Backward Compatible.

I’m a huge fan of his work. You might be familiar with some of his other online-offering titles, such as Nodwick, Full Frontal Nerdity, and PS238. He also wrote for the acclaimed comic North 40, published by Wildstorm, and is also working with Marvel on an undisclosed project. This guy is a true professional artist in every sense of the words (and a real dang friendly dude!), and it shows in his work. The art in his comics is sharp and clean, and the lettering makes it clear that at least one person out there who publishes online stayed awake in English class.

Backward Compatible focused on the daily work lives of a small group of fictitious Crispy Gamer staff, based on actual people. The focus wasn’t on an ongoing story or characterization (which makes my job here much easier); it was all about episodic, topical gaming humour. That’s the meat of it, and it was tasty meat indeed. Take a look at a few prime examples of what made Backward Compatible so entertaining. Guys, I kid you not, I had over a dozen favourite strips saved to potentially post here for this review. Every single one was so funny, I couldn’t choose. I took the geek way out and rolled a die to determine the winners. The rest will be posted at the end of this page as links. I just couldn’t leave them out!

We all had these same thoughts about Fallout 3 (click to enlarge):
Backward Compatible 2009-08-05 Fallout 3

Let’s make fun of the Syphilis–I mean Syfy–Channel’s bad decisions–that NEVER gets old! No, I’m not being sarcastic there. Why, oh WHY do we have crap like Man-Thing airing as original Syfy programming, but The Lost Room is STILL in freakin’ limbo?! Here’s a novel idea, Syfy: if you want us to stop mocking you, STOP BEING STUPID. (Whew. Think I may have eaten a tangent for breakfast. No more citrus for me!)
Backward Compatible: 2010-01-15 Syfy Sucks 02

A requisite World of Warcraft comic? Don’t mind if I do!
Backward Compatible 2009-07-06 WoW

If this existed, I would play the heck out of it:
Backward Compatible 2008-03-21 Clancy

Are you keen to read more yet? Then hop on over to the very first strip and start reading! Backward Compatible only ran from January 2008 to January 2010, so you can expect to get through the entire archives in several hours or less. Not a bad way to spend an evening at home, eh? The current fate of the comic is unknown, but it’s likely that the archives will eventually be removed from CrispyGamer.com, so don’t wait! Act now to read the sheer comic genius that is Backward Compatible before time runs out! And if you need a little more convincing, here are the other comics that didn’t make it into this review:

Even the Pope was not amused by the “pre-downloading” concept of Left 4 Dead 2.

The second panel of this one says pretty much everything I’ve ever thought about those ridiculous Mac-which-is-actually-still-a-PC vs. PC ads.

What it would actually look like if illegal hunting was influenced by video games. Epic LULZ abound!

More Syfy mockery! That stuff is always in style.

Yeah, I could see why some people wouldn’t want to play a Zork MMO.

Why Gordon Freeman never speaks. (Where is our Half Life Episode 3, anyways?)

The…interesting…weaponry of Left 4 Dead 2.

You just keep telling yourself that, Mac. I own over a half-dozen Nintendo consoles, but no Apple products.

Snark Trek.

See now why I had so much trouble choosing? Go read more for yourself! Don’t worry. Unlike Crispy Gamer and Backward Compatible itself, I’ll still be here next week when you’re done.

Webcomics: Giving to the Good Causes.

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

By now, you may be sick of hearing about Haiti. If that’s the case, you’re pretty darn lucky right now to be well off enough that disasters don’t affect you. Haiti’s a good cause, if you’re of the donating mind. There are many good links and resources being widely advertised, and that’s why this article is not about Haiti, but about the equally-important yet lesser-known cause of putting a stop to human trafficking and slavery.

Yeah, I thought we were living in the 21st century too. Apparently some people didn’t get the memo. Here’s the situation, as written on the site I’m about to link you to:

There are currently 27 million enslaved people worldwide- more than double the number of enslaved Africans during the trans-Atlantic slave trade. UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children every year are sold into slavery, most of it sexual. The US Department of Justice estimates 16,000 victims of human trafficking are brought into the United States every year.

A lot of wonderful webcomics have banded together and formed the Comic Creator’s Alliance. The recent donation drive they held ended January 24th, but the organizations they were trying to benefit can still be reached (and donated to) from the main page of the Alliance’s site!

There’s really not a whole lot I can say about this. Not a whole lot to BE said, really. Slavery is a Very Bad Thing which must be stopped. End of story.

I just want to give the participants their well-deserved kudos. And if you want to see who took part in the Comic Creator’s Alliance this year, drop by the listing! (And maybe drop by their webpages and give them some love on your way back from donating some coin to save humanity.) These people are fighting the good fight, doing what must be done, and all those other clichés that boil down to just being awesome people.

The more you know, amIright?

The More You Know

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Happy New Year to all you Spwuggerifics out there!

I know all (none) of you out there who are(n’t) reading this are(n’t) saying, “What kind of way is this to kick off the new year? We were waiting for your article since last night!”

Well, kids, I only just rolled in home from a trip that I should have been back from Sunday night,* and I’m exhausted, hungry, and have a lot of laundry to do. But I owe you all a Spwug article, and a Spwug article you shall have.

*Never tell your family or car you have to be back home by a certain date. They’ll take it as a challenge.

Some people do the resolution thing for New Year’s. I don’t, figuring that if it’s so important you have to promise yourself you’ll do it, then it’s worth starting as soon as you think of it instead of waiting for a day on a calendar. So what I offer you here is more of a mission statement, or a preview of what you can see here in 2010. I think I’m finally getting the hang of this webcomic writin’ thang, so you can expect to see more streamlined (hah!) reviews. You can expect to see better utilization of graphics (and me spending a whole lot more time in Paint Shop Pro to make them better fit WordPress’ incredibly odd formatting).

Additionally, you’ll see a different kind of article showing up. So far I’ve only talked about the webcomics that I’ve been reading for a good while because I like them and know their content pretty well. Since starting my illustrious Spwug career, I’ve started going through the “to be read” links in my bookmarks. And, well, I’ve added some new comics to my regular reading list, but I’ve also run across a few comics that make me want those wasted hours of my life back. So, yes, friends, you can expect negative reviews to start showing up here. I’ve already got three ripe candidates in mind, two of which surprised me by actually being very popular comics on the Internet.

And that’s about it from me for now. I’ve got a hot sweet bun and a warm bed begging to be utilized. May your New Year be as stocked with full bellies and sweet dreams as mine is about to be!

Webcomic Links: Who’s Celebrating the Season?

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

It’s Tuesday evening again, and time for yet another tea session with yers truly. If you’re anything like me, all those last-minute holiday tasks you thought you’d already knocked out are suddenly smacking you hard in the face, and you don’t have time to read reviews or rants.

But maybe you’d just like a little bit of quickie holiday cheer? Well, Santa Marlink is here to help! Here’s a few webcomics that are currently running holiday-themed strips and/or storylines:

Basic Instructions instructs us on how to be gracious with our gifts and non-murdering of others during the holidays (use the “Recent Instructions” column on the right to find gift-related comics).

The Draconia Chronicles gives its annual presentation of how the Tigers and Dragons (and certain sneaky Foxes) put aside their differences–more or less–and celebrate the holidays.

Kevin and Kell, presenting the Domain version of the movie A Christmas Story.

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria answers letters from Santa and tells the story of “How the Osama Stole Christmas!”

Penny Arcade gives us another classic tale: “How the Illithid Stole Lolthmas.”

Sluggy Freelance shows how “FUNderful” the holidays are(n’t) in a city where a constant state of cheer is required by law year-round, and eggnog is administered via injection. So merry!

West Corner of the Park hopes you have a punderful Christmas!

I know other comics usually do a little somethin’ special for Christmas Day, but I can’t predict the future. Yet. ;)

And if holiday atrocities are more your thing, check out the culinary crimes against the season over at the “Cake Wrecks” blog!

Back to last-minute shopping for me (I should instate a rule that if you don’t tell me you’re giving me a present until AFTER December 5th, you don’t get one in return). Don’t let the holiday humbugs bite! (Too hard.)

Webcomics: Fan Jam and Toast

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

This post is coming to you in the midst of “technical difficulties.” By which I mean, my computer has currently forgotten how to boot up, and while praying the backups of my three seven-year-old hard drives are mostly up to date, I’m trying to figure out how to navigate my significant other’s non-ergonomic keyboard and smaller monitor. Please report any typos or other errors to 1-800-EAT-CRAP, okay? Thanks!

Not having access to my own files, I’m having to write this without any notes. Which, let’s be honest, I was gonna do anyways. But now I have an excuse!

This past Saturday, I got to experience my first art/fan jam, for fans of the webcomic The Draconia Chronicles. Now, I know Donnie Sturges (writer) and Danny Valentini (artist) outside of the comic. We’re all buds; we hang, we be chillin’. I know where they live and I watch them sleep. So it was pretty much a normal Saturday of hanging out for me, just with a few extra strangers present. About a dozen of us artists, friends, and fans assembled at a local restaurant, where we talked shop and drew pictures until the dirty looks of the restaurant staff could no longer be ignored (I kid–they knew in advance we’d be there all evening). Donnie and Danny even gave us a sneak peek at the next couple of pages in the comic and dropped a few hints about future events…niftin’, eh?

Normally when I’m in the company of other webcomic fans, it’s as an audience member at a panel during some convention or other. We don’t really interact with one another. We’re too busy asking questions of the artists. Once the panel’s done, we all go our separate ways and don’t really ever get to know one another. This was the first time I’d ever been able to associate with my fellow fans in such an open setting. Instead of quietly listening to the artists talk for the hour or two most panels run, we were all speaking to each other (and usually all at the same time). I saw fans that I typically see at Draconia panels, such as the Überfan who has every page of Draconia printed out and saved in a folder (complete with the comic’s title and credits on the cover, written in the Daedric runes from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion). But this time–and for the first time–it was one another we were interacting with, rather than just the artists.

More than one person commented that this fan jam was better than a convention panel. We had food, new friends, and none of the embarrassment of raising your voice in a busy panel room and asking a question that had just been answered five minutes before. Plus, ya gotta love not having to buy a convention pass in order to mingle!

I’ve seen jams hosted by other artists, and now I can totally see the appeal. If you’re looking for a good way to interact with your fanbase that doesn’t involve packing up your car and driving fifteen hours to an overpriced hotel, and doesn’t involve fighting with convention staff to respond to your emails as to whether or not you have a confirmed panel room…yeah, definitely consider looking into a local meet-up. They’re low stress (at least for us fans!) and a heckuva lotta casual fun.

Tune in next time, when I may or may not have tossed my computer into a ravine.

Webcomics Comin’ Home for the Holidays!

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

Guys, it’s the time of year where we show our holiday spirit by spending all our money on gifts that will very likely go unappreciated by their recipients. (Rosy picture I painted there, innit?) But I’m here to hopefully assist in picking a present that won’t go to the Goodwill center on the 26th….At least, as long as the person you’re shopping for likes webcomics.

Here are the stores of some of my favourite webcomics, as well as a mini-list of what you can find there. If you’ve ever heard your cousin mention how much he likes Richard from Looking for Group, or your roommate talking about how cool Sluggy Freelance is, you can achieve temporary respect in the form of a holiday bribe by shopping these stores for relevant merch. This is just a sampling–you can’t know the true glory until you check it all out for yourself. And don’t wait around, because holiday shipping deadlines are nigh!

Basic Instructions – Clothing, books, commissioned images of your fan-friend! We all need instructions on how to live a better life when the moon-men attack.

Draconia Chronicles – Stickers, clothing, calendars! Who doesn’t want lithe and buxom tigers, dragons, and foxes gracing their home? Foolish people, that’s who. (Please note the site is in the process of changing servers this week and may have a little downtime.)

Looking for Group – Comics, figurines, plushies, blankets, clothes, posters, and randomness! I don’t know about you, but I would burn so many villagers for those Richard socks.

Penny Arcade – Do I really have to explain this one? It’s freakin’ Penny Arcade. They’ve got EVERYTHING. They’re the Sam’s Club of webcomic stores. Good deals at bargain prices. You know the drill. (The Fruit F…umm…Lover certainly knows all about drilling. BAM!)

Questionable Content – Prints, clothing, tote bags! Much of which is not, in fact, questionable content, but much of which is, in fact, super cool.

Sluggy Freelance – Plushies, books, games, pins, and clothing! And you can buy a Defenders membership subscription so your Sluggite fan-friend can see all the juicy content the normal peons–err, fans–don’t get to see. Don’t forget to check out the Breakables Store for more delicate articles like calendars, mugs, and mouse pads. If you don’t buy something, Bun-bun plushie will stab you in the eye with his cute widdle pwushie switchbwade. I may do the same if I never acquire my own serial-killing bunny rabbit. (Regretting my own lack of Defender membership to buy the Defenders-exclusive Holiday Overlord version right about now.)

Something Positive – Posters, prints, cards, clothes, and alliteration! (Much of which is not work-safe, so browse with discretion.) Me, I’m holding out for a Choo-Choo Bear squishy stress doll to get made.

Studio Foglio, creators of Girl Genius, Buck Godot, and What’s New? – Pins, books, games, and squeezy toys. A Wulfenbach airship you can squish again and again? No wonder the Baron is an unstoppable force in Europa.

See, now I’ve done practically all the holiday shopping work for you, out of the goodness of my black little lump-of-coal heart, sharing the joy of the season.

You’re welcome.

….I expect to see those Richard socks and Bun-bun plushie under my tree by Christmas morning. Finder’s fee. You know.

Rant: Webcomics R SRS BIZNISS

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Earlier this month, the creator of the brilliant social-parody-disguised-as-modern-high-fantasy webcomic, Bruno the Bandit, mentioned that he was no longer working on the comic as a way to make a living. In Ian McDonald’s own words:

Right now, my motivations for doing the strip, not to mention my energy levels, are nearly at zero.

The reason is simple: I failed with Bruno. My ultimate goal was to make a living at this. But it didn’t work out that way. Yes, I kept telling myself that it doesn’t matter that I’m not making a living as a cartoonist, I enjoy doing this as a hobby. Which is not entirely untrue, either. But deep down, what I really wanted was to join the illustrious ranks of webcartoonists who are making a living by publishing their comics online. That ain’t gonna happen. I’m just not that good… either at cartooning, or self-promotion, or both.

Furthermore, my readership has been dropping steadily over the past few years, though I’ve nobody to blame but myself for that, due to all the “breaks” I’ve had to take. As well, feedback on the strip has been at an all-time low. I rarely get any e-mail from readers these days, and the Bruno the Bandit forum is all but dead. I can’t help but wonder if you the readers aren’t getting fed up with the strip. If so, I’m not sure I blame you. I can’t help but wonder if my lack of enthusiasm for working on the strip hasn’t affected its quality of late. Rather than plod along and churn out comics I’m not proud of, I figure I should take a break and recharge the ol’ batteries.

Is this the end of Bruno the Bandit? No. But from now on, when I create new comics, it’s because I feel like doing so, not because I feel compelled to put them out on a weekly schedule.

I’m a huge fan of the comic. Being a long-time reader means I’m pretty familiar with the ebbs of flows of the comic over the years. Which means, I have to agree with much of McDonald’s blog about why Bruno so far hasn’t been successful as a business, having seen things like the frequent hiatuses. And that’s where I’m going with this post.

When you get down to it, there’s a lot that can go wrong when it comes to webcomics. That’s hardly news. We’ve probably all seen creators who started out strong and raked in the donations, only to hit a writer’s block that killed the comic and alienated the fanbase. Or, say, creators who got in over their heads when it came to merchandising, spending so much time stressing over pre-orders and getting things shipped out that their core work, the comic itself, suffered. The two biggest wildcards in making a business out of webcomics are, of course, the creating artist(s) and the audience. An artist may have the best story idea in history, but if you can’t ensnare and hold your target audience with it, you’re screwed. Likewise, the best comic in history won’t stay on top if the artist repeatedly flakes out on updates, delivers empty promises to the fans, or just drives them away with bad behaviour outside the comic.

If you’re seeking to make webcomics a business, you have to be open to listening to your fans’ suggestions. As part of the audience, I’m-a gonna list some of the things that destroy my enthusiasm for any given webcomic and lead me to spend my money elsewhere. I won’t be naming names (though I might be linking links). As always, it’s just my opinion; your mileage probably widely varies.

Flaky updates and empty promises. – Look, it’s okay to have a comic that updates sporadically, but be clear about this point on your site. Don’t say “Updates every Monday!” if it’s more like every Tuesday or every other Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…or whenever you remember you’re supposed to be working on it. Don’t change the update schedule every few weeks. Don’t say “comic will be up tonight” if there’s a chance outside of power outage or family emergency that you can’t deliver. If you have a schedule, stick to it. If you can’t, change the schedule to something that you CAN stick to, even if it means your updates go from three times weekly to once monthly. Hell, even “Updates sporadically” is a legitimate schedule since it tells us not to expect an update every time we check the site. Flaking out on your promises makes you look like a sloppy businessman. If my mechanic doesn’t have my car ready at the appointed time because he never got around to looking at it, I’ll be Googling for a new repairman. Same for webcomics. If you can’t deliver what you promise, I’m not trusting you with my donations or merchandise orders. You’re unreliable.

Semi-relevant to the above: Don’t use your “issues” to be flaky if you want to succeed as a business. – You’re not a freak if you suffer from chronic depression or adult ADHD or any myriad of other mental, physical, and emotional ailments. And I’ll smack anyone who says you are. But if you want to be a strong business, you can’t repeatedly use your issues as an excuse for backing out on your promised delivery of goods. In the “real world,” you get fired if you continually call in sick, no matter how much your boss sympathizes with you. Online, the audience is to some extent your boss, if you’re working for profit. If you constantly disappear for three months and then say each time, “Sorry, my *insert ailment here* wouldn’t let me draw,” the sympathy we all feel for you at first gradually turns into frustration. Millions of people work every day, doing their best to compensate for and conquer their ailments. In order to succeed, you have to work even when you don’t feel like it. I realize this is a touchy subject, but far too often, I’ve seen a webcomic artist vanish for an extended period, only to blog, “I was too depressed to make any updates, but please keep donating!” Your ailments are an explanation, never an excuse. I say this as someone who’s worked hard to defeat my own issues.

This next one invokes Will Wheaton’s Law: “Don’t be a [rhymes with 'stick'].” – You guys might wanna watch your behaviour even when you’re not on your personal site. Whether you like it or not, people’s eyes are on you anywhere you go online, once you gain any sort of following. About four years ago, my favourite webcomic was this unique and well-drawn story about a boy summoned to save another world, only it turns out the boy has so many mental issues and voices in his head that he needs saving almost more than the world he’s supposed to protect. I was in love with this story and its world; I recommended the comic to everyone I knew. Then I noticed that I was on several unrelated forums with the comic’s creator. Then I noticed what a liar, hypocrite, and all-around trolling jerk said creator was, when he didn’t think any of his fans were around to notice. He would deliberately start trouble on these forums, get smacked down by the moderators, then go back to his comic’s forum and cry to his fans about how racist and closed-minded everyone else was, and how poor widdle him got in trouble for being a decent person surrounded by trolls. I lost respect for that person then, and the comic was soon replaced by another in my “favourite” status. Prior to that, I’d been chomping at the bit for the comic to be released in book form. Now the comic’s finally seen the release of its first book, and I don’t care anymore. My interest is gone; that comic isn’t getting my money. I still read it out of habit, but my love for the comic has waned (though that’s also partly because the story’s pacing is awful–almost nothing has happened to advance the plot in the past few years). Some people can separate the artist from the attitude, but I’m afraid my blind eye is only a little bit nearsighted. I’ve had similar issues with a now-idle sprite comic whose artist constantly insulted his own audience, and the writer for a comic in which two people on opposite sides of the world see each other’s lives when asleep. Long rant short: if I catch you being a jerk, you can forget seeing my cash.

Don’t air your dirty laundry to your fans. – For the past year and more, the creator of another comic I follow has been repeatedly begging for more donations, complaining of the financial crisis he, his wife, and their year-old son are in, already having lost one of his family’s properties and dealing with only sporadic employment on top of the bills for the baby. His most current blog posts have been mentions that the comic is only drawing in a fraction of the donations he needs to fund his expenses….Only, he recently blogged that he had the chance to buy the car he’s always wanted. (Note it’s not NEEDS; it’s WANTS.) And even used, this particular model doesn’t come cheaply. My research results averaged from $5,000 to $10,000. You’re probably having a similar reaction to the one I had: “How is it that someone who can barely afford to feed his family can buy a car he doesn’t even need?” I don’t have a problem with people in financial crisis making little splurges. Sometimes that’s all that keeps you sane. But THIS? Is not a little splurge. Many of us have things we’ve wanted to buy for years, but being an adult and providing for your family must come first, particularly if the money situation is as dire as you claim. I acknowledge maybe there’s some unwritten backstory that justifies him buying a car instead of saving for bills, but the situation is presented on his blog as I shared it here. It gets worse, though; the most recent blog post has him complaining that he’ll never be able to buy this car, and putting the blame for it on an unspecified party. His equally underemployed wife, who shares a blog column, posts at the same time that she’s upset that she’s being misunderstood and ignored. Neither one says who they’re talking about, but the timing? Hmmm….If they’re not talking about each other, a little blurb clarifying this would go such a long way. As it stands, right now I’m not donating to someone who appears to value a car over family financial needs, not even if his next post says the three of them are living in a cardboard box.

Now, what’s probably the most important sum-up point of my lengthy rantings–and this part comes from my previous experience with running Web-based enterprises: If you don’t run your webcomic like a business, you won’t succeed as a business. – Just putting up a donation link and three updates every week usually won’t float you. You gotta pimp yourself out more than a five-dollar hooker. A successful business has to advertise, network, merchandise, reinvest…all those things most people hate doing. Most webcomics can’t sustain themselves by selling just books, either–these books tend to be expensive small-run prints with little to no profit. Begging for donations usually doesn’t work either, except to recoup some expenses. Most fans want something more substantial in exchange for their money, like T-shirts, mugs, and plushies, just for starters. Just look at Penny Arcade. Those guys are the classic model for how to run a webcomic business correctly. They stick to their schedule. They offer varied merchandise in their stores. (And they know when to delegate responsibilities like merchandising and advertising so they’re not overwhelmed with projects and can focus on the comic.) They don’t usually talk about their issues, and when Gabe does, it’s not in a whinging way; it’s more educational. They keep their business and personal personas largely separate online (chances are, you’ve been on a forum with one of them in the past and never even knew it), or at least try to be neutral about talking of personal matters on their site blogs. I’m not saying that doing everything Penny Arcade does guarantees you success; after all, their comic has a more mainstream appeal than many others out there in the Interwebs. But learning how to be a businessman won’t hurt you, either.

As usual, this “little” rant got away from me, but it’s all done…for now. I must now go reinforce my pillow fort against angry artists, so ciao!

Webcomic Mini-review: Girl Genius

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

When I do webcomic reviews, it’s mostly to show my love for a comic that I feel doesn’t get enough exposure.* But what about when a comic I love is already popular enough that I probably can’t tell you webcomic fans anything about it that you don’t already know?

*That doesn’t mean I’ll never write reviews for comics I don’t like. But for my past reviews, I’ve just gone through my regular reading list of comics–and I don’t tend to keep reading things that have stayed past their welcome with me. That said, I actually do have a review in mind for a webcomic that I gave up on, but as it’s only a few months old, I’m giving it half a year to improve before I make with the frowny-faces. Fair’s fair.

Originally, I planned to just leave off reviewing these ceWebrities of webcomic fame and only mention them in terms of comic news and what-have-you. Still, though, I couldn’t escape the desire to blow these guys’ horns. In order to satisfy myself without beating too many deceased equines, I’ve settled on a compromise: the mini-review.

This time, I’m singing the praises of Phil and Kaja Foglio’s Girl Genius (with colourist Cheyenne Wright), a success story in print as well as online. Girl Genius has in the past been nominated for the Web Cartoonists’ Choice Awards, the Eisner Award, the Hugo Awards, and the Eagle Awards; it’s won a Hugo and numerous WCCA categories. The Foglios themselves are no strangers to art fans. Phil Foglio is probably most famous for providing his uniquely-styled illustrations to the MythAdventures series of books by Robert Lynn Asprin, as well as creating former Dragon Magazine comic series What’s New with Phil & Dixie (which you should really check out on the Foglio’s website, along with Girl Genius and the equally-entertaining Buck Godot!) See? There’s some serious talent behind this print-comic-turned-webcomic-turned-print-comic! That alone should be enough to persuade anyone who’s heard of Girl Genius but never checked it out to take a look.

But we all like pretty pictures, right? And I did say that Phil’s art style is unique…extremely unique. If you’ve seen his work before, you’ll instantly recognize it again. Combine Phil’s art with the colouring talent of Cheyenne Wright, and you’ve got a lovely little vision of sequential art to massage your eyeballs. Let’s take a look at the art of Girl Genius, in which the Foglios’ love of Victorian-era dress and culture and steampunk are allowed to roam freely. (Kaja invented the term “gaslamp fantasy” to describe the comic’s less punky, but no less steamy, setting. I don’t mean “steamy” in the saucy way, either. I mean it in the “Water plus heat equals steam. The world can be saved by steam!” way.) Girl Genius takes place in a version of Europe where mad scientists known as “Sparks” run rampant with their minions and twisted creations. When the heroes of your comic are mostly inventors with tenuous grips on sanity at best, problem solving tends to take on new and amusing levels of meaning. Let’s pull out that art and allow me to illustrate (hehe) with a recent storyline:

Girl Genius - No Fun

The disembodied voice in the second panel talking about tours is the voice of the mostly-insane castle/fortress/mad laboratory the characters are currently trying to repair…so that its homicidal behaviour is directed against, well, pretty much anyone OTHER than the guys doing the repair job.

But the life of a Spark is not all fun and games and dissecting of brains. When you muck about with the very forces that hold our world together, you’re bound to run into a bit of backlash. One of the Sparks, a prince named Tarvek, ends up with the contagious lethal disease Hogfarb’s Resplendent Immolation, which apparently turns its victims all sorts of pretty, pretty colours before death (which may involve spontaneous combustion, or may just lead to a literal meltdown of the body). And also makes them delirious. But really, who notices the difference when the infected is a mad scientist?

Girl Genius - Birdies

And how do you treat a terminal illness? Well, if you’re ALSO a Spark, the solution is easy: you hook yourself up to the sufferer to stabilize him (which also gives you his symptoms), move his brain into a nice safe jar or something for storage, then kill him, drain his blood, decontaminate it, and then bring him back to life, at which point he’ll be good as new! Simple, huh? I wonder why doctors never use this treatment in our world….

Hijinks ensue, of course, and our heroine Agatha Heterodyne ends up catching the disease herself. Which rather complicates matters, as she was the one who was going to be treating both Tarvek and rival noble Gilgamesh Wulfenbach (who did the hooking up of himself to Tarvek in order to stabilize–and rationalise–him). Oh, you wacky Sparks! But this also brings out the “romance” part of the comic’s tagline, “Adventure, Romance, MAD SCIENCE!” Our two rich boys are both gunning for Agatha’s affections, which means putting her health before theirs:

Girl Genius - Infection

If you’ve fallen behind (or, gods forbid, never started) reading, how can you not want to read this comic after all that? Have you no sense of adventure? Have you no love of romance? Have you no obsession with MAD SCIENCE!?

Well, now, even without doing character bios and exposition of the overarching plot and whatnot, this Girl Genius “mini-review” was still a bit longer than you’d expect a “mini” to be. But that just shows you how enthusiastic I am about the work of the Foglios and Wright!

Office of the Don #59: Neko-Leko-Hi, Neko-Heiney-Ho

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

Greetings, Banana Splits!

There comes a time in every child’s life when they must put away childish things and become an adult…

…or they can say “To Hell with that” and continue to have fun by going to conventions like Nekocon.

Guess which one I did this past weekend?

To be fair, I was there in an official capacity, as my partner-in-crime Danny Valentini and I were invited to the convention again this year to be guests.  Supposedly, we do this web comic together called “The Draconia Chronicles” that grows in popularity every year.  Now, I would just chalk this up to rumor for now, because everyone knows that there are no such things as web comics.  That’s just a story parents tell their children at night to scare them so that they won’t grow up to get online degrees.

You should know the drill by now – I do a quick recap of my weekend at a convention, you skim over it feeling unfulfilled, then we both reluctantly agree that we need to see other people as we give back all the items we borrowed or gave to each other.

I’m still waiting to get back my copy of the “The White Album.”

As con Fridays go, this year’s Neko offered pretty much the standard fare – I show up at the convention center about two hours before the Opening Ceremonies.  Heading up to the “Con-Ops” room, I procure my Guest badge.  After some spirited conversation about topics I have no recollection of discussing, I make a dotted bee-line for our table in the Artists Alley.  I say dotted because one can never just go to where they are going at a convention.  Invariably, there will be many stops and restarts as you run into old friends for a quick chat, pose for pictures, stop to take pictures, notice something shiny, pause to ponder the secrets of the universe, stop because you’re chewing gum, or hesitate because the all-powerful con gods sent a messenger to you with a gift consisting of this confection called “Pocky”.  And no, I don’t mean the owner of Spwug.

As I survey the landscape of the cavernous region known as the Artists Alley, I catch up with more fellow AA (not Alcoholics Anonymous) commoners as I wait for my cohort to arrive.  I also wait for time to slowly transport me into the future, for that is where the Opening Ceremonies await me.

When the Hour of Trying to Fool People Into Thinking You Are Someone Important in Front of a Medium-Sized Crowd is finally at hand, my recently arrived partner-in-crime and I make our way into the even more cavernous region where the Ceremonies are to take place.  After a series of horrible attempts at humor that are the reason my parents gave me up for adoption, Danny and I – fully convinced that no one knew who the heck we were – remove ourselves and head back over to “Con-Ops”, where we trade our silly old Guest badges for shinier and cooler “Neko Bazaar” badges.  With renewed vigor, we return to the first cavernous area of which I had already mentioned previously.  From there, we set up our table, and begin the attempt to peddle our wares for the rest of the evening.  And that, little Christopher, is how babies are born.

Saturday finds us arriving early, long before noon’s rising sun can greet us.  We have a panel to host and candy tied to strings so that we can lure entice the con masses to our little panel room.  We are able to capture accrue a respectable number of individuals despite our outlandish buffoonery on display.  In fact, I do believe that a couple of them even stop screaming long enough to ask us questions about our web comic.  I call that a success.  Then again, I call not getting maced in the face when I ask a woman the time a success.

From there, we return to our temporary abode in the Artists Alley for more shilling, more debauchery, more talky-talky…blah blah blah…  You’re already asleep, so we’ll skip ahead…

Two in the afternoon!  We have another panel!  But our princess is in another castle!  Dejected from finding yet another one of those stupid Toadstool weirdoes (where do they all come from?  Do they multiply like rabbits?), we make our way back to the same room our last panel was in.  In a strange case of déjà vu, the room looks exactly the same as the last time we were in it.  In fact, maybe this really is the first time we are in it, and the first time really wasn’t the first time, but instead a strange message from the future telling us what lie in store for our fates.

Nope, same room, different panel.

This time we are joined by real artists and writers as we try our best to sound like we know as much as they do about making web comics.  I think we have them fooled right up to the point where I mention something about the right amount of tension needed on a loom when interweaving the threads of a web comic.  I’m not sure where the audience got the pitch forks and torches, but it makes for an exciting conclusion to what I think was a successful panel.

As my counterpart and I make our escape back to the Caverns of AA, we easily slip back into our respective roles – he’s the DJ and I’m the rapper.  Sales seem to be going well on our new “Men of the Quadratic Equation” calendar, as well as a few other items we have somehow managed to fool the commonfolk into believing have magical powers – mainly some Shamwow!s, as well as a few pounds of Mighty Putty.  Throughout the afternoon and evening we get several con-goers who stop by claiming to be fans of our web comic.  But, I know the truth.  After being visited by them as often as I am, you tend to recognize evil spirits when they show up to haunt you and ask you for favors.

It is at this point that I also have a vision that my wife is in an 80s glam-pop band.  I shiver from the delusion, then down a couple burgers that are really cookies.  My life is strange.

The greatest highlight of Saturday has to be in the evening when we go to dinner.  It isn’t often when an evil spirit actually tries to get you drunk so that they can take advantage of you.  Joke’s on him, though.  I would have said yes sober.

Sunday seems to be a blur.  No, I mean every Sunday seems to be a blur.  I think my brain just hates living in my cranial cavity so much that it just decides to shut down every seventh day as a middle finger to me and my ancestors.  I can’t fathom why.  I mean, it isn’t my fault that the Waltons aren’t real.

Now that I think about it, I do seem to recall some events took place on Neko’s Day of Sun.  We have a final panel wherein we are usurped by dark forces who yank the proverbial rug out from under us by yanking the actual rug out from under us.  I think we still manage to do a fairly adequate job of teaching the wailing masses how not to create or develop characters.  At least, I pray to Bill Cosby that we did.

A few more hours of trying to prove to the con folk that we are not wax statues and the con is officially over.  As my main squeeze who is not my wife but is really the artist who draws the web comic I scribble words for and I break down and cry our set-up at the table in the AA Caverns, we say our goodbyes to a few of the fellow artists who were crazy enough to talk to us.  We make our way to the bar in the hotel that is across the way from the convention center.  I remark as we head over that a way looks an awful lot like grass and asphalt.  Once inside the bar, a friend buys me an apple pie – except that this pie is really liquid and I have to drink it instead of eat it.  But hey, in today’s economy everyone has to make sacrifices – even our American icons.  I heard that baseball is currently just gardening in order to save money.

With the evening now upon us, we make our way to Olive Garden.  There, a free meal awaits all of us who were sneaky enough to convince the staff that we were Guests Neko Bazaar attendees.  But first we stand outside the restaurant to play a game called “Parking Lot-to”.  The object of the game is to stand out in the parking lot until the number of people in your party matches the number called.  Our group makes it to the bonus round, where we win some fabulous prizes – including our meals, as well as a copy of the home game.  I can’t speak for those who are still in the parking lot after we are seated, though I’m told that “manicotti formaggio” is Italian for “convention stragglers”.

I’m glad I ordered the chicken alfredo.

The Don would like to give his heartfelt thanks to everyone at Nekocon for their gracious generosity and hopes to be invited back next year!

Webcomic Musings: Support Your (Not-so-)Local Webartist–Go to Conventions!

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Friends, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’d love to buy merchandise from my favourite webcomics, but I don’t want to pay shipping costs just to have to wait for my swag,” then have I got a solution for you! Have you ever considered…conventions?

….Okay, so the cost of a convention admission badge is considerably more than what you’d pay to ship a poster and a T-shirt to your home. Also, in order to attend a convention, you have to actually leave said home. But I’m here, fresh from Nekocon 2009, to show you the pros of allowing cons into your life! (So, how much are you hating me right now?)

With your keepsake convention membership badge, you’ll receive nigh-unlimited access to your favourite artists, courtesy of the Artists’ Alley! Hang around their tables breathing on them while you drop $20 on a T-shirt and calendar! Just imagine, you’ll finally be able to give that fifteen-minute presentation to the creators of The Draconia Chronicles about how their story’s world would be infinitely improved by a crossover with Harry Potter and a repeat appearance by Christopher Walken as a Twilight vampire. Don’t forget to bring your laptop with PowerPoint slideshow!

Sparkle Walken

The best part about that picture is that I totally did not expect to find a Walken/Harry Potter pic when I Googled “Christopher Walken Sparkle.” Thanks, Totally Looks Like.com! Hopefully-humourous text is my addition.

But that’s not all–act now, and you’ll also receive PANELS. That’s right, long discussions and autograph sessions hosted by your beloved artists in which you discuss their works and ask them uncomfortable questions about their sex lives for one to two hours! You can’t get THAT experience from sitting at home reading webcomics!

No, guys, I will never stop channeling Billy Mays. Sorry.

But seriously, folks, if you want to show support for the artists you love and wish to know, you can do a lot worse than to come hang out at a fan convention. Nekocon is an anime-themed convention, but you can find artists of all types, at all types of cons. This weekend, I hobnobbed with and/or observed these rising stars of webcomics in their unnatural element:

–Danny Valentini and (Spwug’s own) Donnie Sturges of The Draconia Chronicles

–Jamie Sturges of Why So

–Chris Malone of Blue and Blond (Chris, if you’re reading this, I never did find out who the screamer in room 417 was to congratulate them.)

–Dave Lister of Paradox Lost

–Aja Moore of vantage/vantage (Currently on a semi-hiatus until the artist finds more reliable webhosting. She also has done other works as well–check out the rest of her DeviantArt page and website!)

Michael Terracciano of Dominic Deegan was sadly not at Nekocon this year, for which we all weep, but he’s yet another webcomic artist who does the con circuit. Speaking of the con circuit, thanks to these conventions, you’ll be able to meet the entire range, from “small business” comic artists to big-name ones whose works are published both online and in newspapers around the world.

C’mon…give conventions a try. Even if you leave traumatized by that Sailor Jupiter with the goatee and hairy legs, you’ll still have your webcomic swag and the beginnings of a bee-YOO-tee-fool friendship with the artists you love! (Sometimes a bit too much. Remember–if you have to ASK an artist to sign your underclothes, chances are, they don’t actually want to.)

The preceding article comes to you courtesy of the zombie plague, which the writer is still afflicted with. Spwug assumes no responsibility for opinions presented here, or undead uprisings that occur as a result of viewing this page.